NOM

The last 10 years or so I've spent a huge amount of time unpacking my mormon upbringing and former beliefs. It was shocking to reconsider the stories and actions of the church through a new perspective and see formerly good things as at best a waste of time and at worst actively harmful to millions. The pain I have felt makes it seem like the church is a huge evil in the world. But there isn't much I can do to stop the church and there are worse things than the church and better things to do than be shocked about the messy reality of the situation. So, I think I need to find something new to spend time and energy on that actually does good.

Have any of you found something good you can pour your efforts into?

Linked wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 18, 2023 4:59 pm

The last 10 years or so I've spent a huge amount of time unpacking my mormon upbringing and former beliefs. It was shocking to reconsider the stories and actions of the church through a new perspective and see formerly good things as at best a waste of time and at worst actively harmful to millions. The pain I have felt makes it seem like the church is a huge evil in the world. But there isn't much I can do to stop the church and there are worse things than the church and better things to do than be shocked about the messy reality of the situation. So, I think I need to find something new to spend time and energy on that actually does good.

Have any of you found something good you can pour your efforts into?

I recall in my faith awakening journey a time where I felt the healing process was going well and that I needed to focus on doing good. I realized that I was trying to replace the hours of church service with something else equivalent to fill the void. Then I realized that what I was feeling was the moment my forced captivity was over and my time became mine. Like standing inside my cage, door now wide open, and all I needed to do was take a step out and the world of possibilities was endless. A moment of self realization showed me that “Doing good” could be something focused on others or for myself. Or more importantly a combination of both. Knowing when to spend time on yourself is important and finding ways to help others can be very fulfilling as well.

For myself, I’ve found that I like to explore my creative side through various art forms. Nothing too serious but rather an outlet. Coupled with music I can find a flow that makes me feel whole. Outdoor activities like hiking, biking, kayaking, and camping. Those always reset my mind. Nature is amazing.

For others:
We try to continue to do some act of service. Usually this means an evening at the food bank packaging dry goods a few times a year. We also have elderly grandparents that we spend time with and help them around their house doing various projects.

I haven’t yet found a purpose that I'm super passionate about that consumes me but i have found a sense of peace knowing i can choose what to do with my time.

I no longer subscribe to fake relationships where I need to visit, minister, or teach on a monthly basis to check a box.

It’s a wonderful thing to dump the benign and really choose and focus what you want to do with your time.

So, to quote the great Corsair, “What do YOU want to do?”

After the mental escape from TSCC matrix, I remember how refreshing it was to do some service and good deeds and know there was no BS wrapped around them; no points, no record in heaven or hell, nobody on earth or otherwise keeping score, at least in my new reality view.

Shifting time that used to be waisted on the TSCC BS to my own vices was pretty easy for me. I have not taken for granted my new found time to spend in nature and at home. As far as the bigger picture, moving away from a charter such as "perfecting the saints", I've been making an effort to reach out to friends and family to help them through their struggles. I've taken friends and family on outings to some of the amazing outdoor places, trying to get people to unplug from the digital and get back in touch with the natural. I've also been evangelizing to family and friends the use of magic fun guys where it makes sense; not in a preachy "you need to do this" way, but more by way of suggestion and being here to help as much as I can. But my efforts pale in comparison to Hagoth, he's a master Jedi.

So I look for opportunities to spread the good word and do the works of the FSM and the Cosmo. From my small circle of influence I'm trying to better the species and get them out of their tribes. I also preach a fair amount of anti-tribalism. I try to point out the way religious, political and corporate structures have enslaved much of humanity in our recorded history and how it literally threatens the future of our species.

Like Linked said, it's too daunting to go directly after TSCC billionaire boys club, but I can help eat away at the edges of their membership.

My new thing is education. It's more than a job. While others in my family stop to hand out religious tracks, I stop to hand out college information. Just yesterday a little family at the side of the road was begging-, there was a traffic jam so I was able to talk with them about financial aid and scholarships available - about continuing education, workforce programs that could quickly get them into careers. I don't want to be a salesperson but that damn piece of paper really does help people. They asked me questions, where do I go? Who do I talk to? I pointed them to campus, they really didn't know.

This coming week, I'll be working in community garden - a lot of migrant workers end up in agriculture, they feel more comfortable talking outside next to plants.

Next weekend its taking kids through lines for backpacks, school supplies, and just supplies - shoes etc. You know donations etc. you can add to at grocery stories? It's an event where it all gets passed out.

Education - that's my passion. I've seen it turn lives around.

To me, it is easiest to do good or pay it forward if there is no eternal reward attached. The list of "blessings" that come from the stuff that I got spoon fed to me when I was a kid, like going to church, paying tithing, later on going to the temple, all that happy horse sh*t. Nowadays, those things are behind me and there they shall stay. Nonsense.

From my nonmember dad, I learned that when giving, do it in the spirit of not expecting a pay back of any sort. No rewards- just do it because it is the right thing to do.

Many times growing up and even as an adult I recall my dad gathering us up to help people in the neighborhood or people he or my mom knew, moving, farm work, building a garage stacking and hauling hay. As a kid I hated that- taking away play time for no pay, as my dad would shrug off payment of any kind, so we all got zip ourselves. As I grew and matured, I began to understand how doing those things were a way to a happier and more fulfilled life.

Later, I saw the same example of my wife's nonmember dad and her mom who was TBM, but so kind and loving. Very generous those two, but not worried about payback. Just give and be done with it. Be the sort of person you ought to be because it feels like home so to speak. No grand eternal reward, angels clapping, taking notes of what a good person you are.

Linked wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 18, 2023 4:59 pm

I think I need to find something new to spend time and energy on that actually does good.

there's https://www.volunteermatch.org/
https://www.rotary.org/en → really good organization
https://www.ewb-usa.org/ →what is your profession? most have volunteer orgs.
volunteer fire department → really fun group of people.
Big brothers big sisters
Habitat for Humanity, United way, https://www.americorps.gov/serve/volunteer

RubinHighlander wrote: ↑

Wed Jul 19, 2023 11:41 am

...my new found time to spend in nature and at home. ... reach out to friends and family to help them through their struggles. I've taken friends and family on outings to some of the amazing outdoor places, trying to get people to unplug from the digital and get back in touch with the natural.

Yes, a whole new side of the family to connect with. I'm currently debating introducing visiting family members to my LGBTQ friends at upcoming theater fest I think I have talked them into attending with me. A few of the kids in this fam are LGBTQ - these particular friends are a little outspoken haha so it might not be a good combo. I'll just let Karma take it's course, we'll see which night we happen to attend, and who we happen to see

Gatorbait wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 25, 2023 7:02 am

...I began to understand how doing those things were a way to a happier and more fulfilled life. ...Be the sort of person you ought to be because it feels like home so to speak. No grand eternal reward, angels clapping, taking notes of what a good person you are.

Definitely brings Happiness - with a capital H, Purpose, Meaning - just yesterday had a convo with someone whose belief transition has led them to the apathetic don't care nothing to live for stage (it's just a stage, it will pass). The convo turned into me preaching about volunteer work, will drag them with me this coming weekend.

I admit I have a "do-gooder" reputation at work - "well of course yoouuu signed up" (eye roll), I'm the goofy overly-optimistic bouncy one, but I really do enjoy it. Other people will come because they know I'll be there (so they won't be in a room with strangers) - I have to figure out a way to downplay it or somehow explain it so everyone understands it really is a service to me (not just a service to them) that I need stuff like this.

Once at church I escaped bldg cleanup by leaving with leftovers to deliver to a family - I told the family - thanks for helping me escape bldg cleanup, and we all enjoyed the leftovers together, it was great - win-win. Have to figure out ways so no one feels like a burden, that it is win-win for everyone, that they all know it is win-win.

Linked wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 18, 2023 4:59 pm

Have any of you found something good you can pour your efforts into?

Message board posting. Especially posts with historical questions.

Was Joseph wrong to hit on Hester Prynne? Didn't seem like Reverend Dimsdale was ever going to do the right thing. At least with Joseph, Hester would be given a gold watch and a Nauvoo property deed, and a chance to be one of Brigham Young's subsequent wives.

Don't worry about Hester's age. She has been referred to as a timeless classic.

When you are old, run-down, and your grown kids are busy with their own lives, message boards and video games (especially Skyrim and Fallout 4) can help lend some zest to your existence.

Hi Linked,

Linked wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 18, 2023 4:59 pm

Have any of you found something good you can pour your efforts into?

People.

Mormons are people who just happen to identify as a Mormon at this moment. Catholics are people who just happen to identify as a Catholic at this moment. Atheists are people who just happen to identify as an atheist at this moment. Agnostics are people who just happen to identify as an agnostic at this moment. Muslims are people who just happen to identify as a Muslim at this moment. Etc. Etc. Etc.

In my opinion, if you can see the person, rather than what that person happens to identify as at any given moment, you have found the "good thing" that you can pour your efforts into.

ceeboo wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 03, 2023 1:51 pm

Hi Linked,

Linked wrote: ↑

Tue Jul 18, 2023 4:59 pm

Have any of you found something good you can pour your efforts into?

People.

Mormons are people who just happen to identify as a Mormon at this moment. Catholics are people who just happen to identify as a Catholic at this moment. Atheists are people who just happen to identify as an atheist at this moment. Agnostics are people who just happen to identify as an agnostic at this moment. Muslims are people who just happen to identify as a Muslim at this moment. Etc. Etc. Etc.

In my opinion, if you can see the person, rather than what that person happens to identify as at any given moment, you have found the "good thing" that you can pour your efforts into.

This is exactly right. I have taken a deep dive into a variety of hobbies and I like that too. Nothing, however, takes the place of having friends and family that care as much about us as we care about them. We are not perfect. I a suck the most at perfection. If we can avoid stereotyping swaths of people and embrace forgiveness and allowance, the good possibilities increase in quality and quantity.

I have become quite busy with work which as it happens lines up pretty well with my hobbies. I have also gotten pretty involved in a professional society where I run a week long camp and we teach kids about range land management. It takes quite a bit of time but its pretty rewarding.

Thank you all for your thoughts on this. Lots of good points made and examples of doing good. This place is fantastic!