NOM

Today is my youngest son's 12th birthday--the day he would have traditionally been "ready" to receive the priesthood. (Yeah, I know they changed all that for bureaucratic efficiency, but still a deeply engrained milestone)

Feeling a little self-reflective as I think back on the alternate version of me who would have been expected to happily stand by while watching this child, who still needs me to mother him in so many ways, take on greater authority than I would have ever had in the LDS church's patriarchy. As it turned out, none of my sons ever received the priesthood because we left before my oldest was 12.

It's hard to imagine that I was that person just a short decade ago as I sit here drinking my morning coffee. Those Mormon milestones were so entrenched in my life, but my kids probably aren't even aware of the importance of a 12th birthday in my Mormon youth. It's surreal how little it took to undo that early indoctrination in their cases when it shaped so much of my life.

Congrats!

Is there another tradition that you’ve replaced the priesthood ordination with? Like perhaps, ordaining him to master Jedi laser tag savant?

Red Ryder wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 03, 2023 7:01 am

Congrats!

Is there another tradition that you’ve replaced the priesthood ordination with? Like perhaps, ordaining him to master Jedi laser tag savant?

Nothing that exciting. haha

It was also middle school registration day so I took the day off work, took him out for a donut at his fave place this morning, then took him over to the middle school where I assisted him in reading a schedule, navigating the new-to-him building ,and figuring out how to work a locker. Next up, grocery shopping so I can make his fave dinner.

He's playing a video game currently and not pondeing what God expects him to do with that newfound authority he's missed out on. One of those choices seems more developmentally appropriate to me. lol

Mormonism is so weird in how it both infantilizes you and tries to make you grow up too quickly. High demand religions. A mind trip for sure. This kid literally has no memory of stepping foot in a Mormon church. Sometimes I really envy him that.

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I truly discovered the LD$-Inc.™ truth crisis a short time before a few of those MORmON milestones in my family.

And to my shock-and-awe. and overwhelming happiness: Both kids who were in line for those milestones noped right out. And to the believing spouse's credit: Those kids were allowed their "agency" to make those choices. Along with the overwhelming happiness was also the gut-wrenching "Am I doing the right thing?" in the back of my mind. You know the Happy/Sad song from Addams Family? Yeah: That to the nth degree.

~10 years on and those kids are thriving. Turns out it's completely possible to become an excellent human being without cult brainwashing - even in the Morridor. Who-da-thunk?

wtfluff wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 03, 2023 11:01 am

~10 years on and those kids are thriving. Turns out it's completely possible to become an excellent human being without cult brainwashing - even in the Morridor. Who-da-thunk?

The instilled fear is a real control tactic. I'm coming up on my ninth anniversary of the great shelf crash. So grateful that it happened.

I have a friend who had similar feelings about the same time but decided she had to stay in the church for various reasons. Seeing her journey (kids on missions, kids getting deeper and depper in the church, etc) is an interesting contrast to mine.

9 years already?

Seems like just yesterday and you’ve gone back to school, got a job, and sounds like balancing a great family!

Well done!

This month was my oldest son's 12th birthday. I wondered if it would be bittersweet for me, and it was not. I have moved on I guess. He also does not seem to be interested in ordination, at least that he has discussed with me.