Reintroduction and Star Wars Analogy

[Evil Monkey]

Hello fellow NOMs. I have lost track of how long i have been a part of the NOM community at least 10+ years. But it has been a long time since I contributed but have been in the shadows reading posts for years especially around Conference time. My disillusionment with the church began about 15 or 16 years ago and I did try a stint a while back where i tried going back to church for a while for family reasons but Covid and our Stakes reorganizing boundaries in the middle of Covid made it easy for us to slip back into the shadows.

Since this is a semi reintroduction I am an avid movie enthusiast. I don't watch movies in the theater every weekend, especially not after Covid. But i constantly draw parralels between movies and some tv shows, and form analogies to my life and those around me all the time. One of my favorite movie franchises is Star Wars. And with the emergence of Disney plus there has been no short supply of Star Wars content. I won't get into reviews, opinions on shows, or spoilers in this post, but what spurred me to dust off my account and make this post was the newly airing Ahsoka series. Without giving away any spoilers for the series itself there are many analogies that can be drawn up between the NOM community and Ahsoka. A little Clone Wars background on who Ahsoka is (Non Ahsoka Spoilers ahead if you haven't watched Clone Wars): She was the padawan of Anakin Skywalker. She was assigned to him in her tween to teenage years during the Clone wars. Throughout the Clone Wars they faced many adventures/trials as master and apprentice but towards the end of the clone wars she was framed for treason against the Jedi Order and if you consider the Jedi to be a religion which I do, Ahsoka was excommunicated for the charge of treason which she was innocent of. Her Master Anakin was deeply upset over the excommunication proceedings and immediately worked to clear Ahsoka's name and restore her to full membership in the Jedi Order and he was able to clear her name and set the record straight. But by then the damage was done and Ahsoka left the order never to return. Weeks later the events that led to the end of the Clone Wars and the fall of Anakin Skywalker ensued and this incident with Ahsoka was quite possibly the tipping point. But back to Ahsoka she went on to continue to be a force user regardless of the fact that she left her Religion with no intention of returning. One could say she actually became stronger without the Jedi Religion.

Now for the analogy which will tie into my reintroduction as well. I was born and raised in the church. Baptism at 8, mission at 19, the whole nine yards. But never in those first 19 years did i ever feel the spirit until i left for my Mission. And something within me unlocked. For years in the church i was taught to let the spirit /Holy Ghost be my guide and the gift of the Holy Ghost was something exclusive to LDS members in good standing. And that through the spirit you would always be ont the right path. But still it took my mission to first feel the spirit. And once i did i continually learned to go back to the well and was astute at listening to the spirit and letting it guide me. But then i returned home and eventually got married a year or two later and real life ensued. Within our first year of marriage my wife and I lost our first born child. I turned to the spirit for guidance and received it. I tried to follow where it took my wife and I continuously until i eventually came to a crossroads. One where the spirit was guiding me to what was directly contrary to the dogma of the church. When finances became hard after losing our first child i asked the spirit for guidance and its prompts were clear...if i cant afford tithing I shouldn't be paying it. Tithing was to be based upon surplus and since i had no surplus but rather debt i should not feel obligated to pay tithing. So i listened to that prompting and our finances got better and we were able to survive as long as we didn't pay tithing.
And as the years went on you can imagine that drove a wedge between the Church and my family. Till eventually i was in the Bishops office being questioned on why i wasn't paying tithing and i came clean and told him about my earnest prayers and what the spirit guided me to do. He basically told me to ignore the spirit and obey the church because the church will never lead you astray. This was the catalyst that led me out of the church. I was told to ignore what had been guiding me well since my mission. I let the spirit guide my whole life once i unlocked it. It guided me my whole mission and then guided me to my wife of now 23 years I am still strong in the spirit and while i lose focus at times o am still able to return to the spirit for guidance but it is that same spirit that helped me out of the church and one could say i have grown stronger in the spirit outside of the church than with in.

So what does all that have to do with Ahsoka. Ahsoka was excommunicated and then welcomed back but only after her master proved they were wrong and by then it was too little to late. The toothpaste was out of the tube so she left her Religion but never ever left the force. The Jedi Religion always made it seem like they held a monopoly on the light side of the force but that is false. Ahsoka thrived in the light side without ever needing her old religion. I found myself outside of the church because the spirit led me to make choices that were not 100 percent in line with church dogma and eventually the spirit led me to every other hypocrisy in the church but it all started there with tithing for me. But just like Ahsoka, the spirit or Holy Ghost or force or whatever you want to call it got stronger inside me without the Church. We as NOM's or just non members in general don't need the church to feel the spirit. A spiritual awakening is some times needed but the LDS Church just like the Jedi Order does not hold a monopoly on the spirit/force. It is available to all who are willing to train themselves how to use it.

I am glad to be posting again after all this time and will venture to post more in the future. There is much more i could say but i will leave it here for now and will post/reply more soon.

[Hagoth]

Welcome back, Sinister Simian! And thanks for sharing your story.

Till eventually i was in the Bishops office being questioned on why i wasn't paying tithing and i came clean and told him about my earnest prayers and what the spirit guided me to do. He basically told me to ignore the spirit and obey the church because the church will never lead you astray.

That pretty much encapsulates the Mormon experience right there.

[Ghost]

I also used a COVID-driven reorganization to finally give up on my attempts at active participation at church. Seems that's pretty common, on top of all the people who stepped back within various religions after not being able to assemble for a while. I wonder whether Mormons were more resilient or about the same as other groups.

I think it's interesting how many who have found themselves in a NOM situation (or beyond) tend to have some event to point to that triggered the transition, and although that event can be quite different for different people it can lead to the same type of questioning and acknowledging issues that were always there around the edges.

[Hagoth]

I think it's interesting how many who have found themselves in a NOM situation (or beyond) tend to have some event to point to that triggered the transition...

This is something that I find fascinating. I can remember the exact moment the entire system inverted for me. It was like a rubber band I had been stretching for years finally snapped.

[deacon blues]

For me there were several steps, but each one was memorable. I revisit them in my memory and probably re-edit them a little each time. but I also kept a diary, which helps me go back to my impressions at the time.