I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
Post Reply
User avatar
fetchface
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:45 pm

I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by fetchface » Thu Oct 20, 2016 7:38 pm

I shared this some time ago on the old board, but my bishop confessed to me at my daughter's baptismal interview that he "almost took my path" when I told him that I had resigned. He said it would be fun to chat some time. He's a really nice guy who I run into all the time taking my kids to dance class.

Anyway, I posted my latest blog post on Facebook a week or two ago and he once again stated that it would be good to chat about stuff. I'm pretty direct and fearless when it comes to these kinds of conversations, so I said, "why not?" So I'm going to meet with him on the 30th. We'll see how it goes.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
My blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/

User avatar
StarbucksMom
Posts: 297
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 11:14 am

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by StarbucksMom » Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:27 pm

Please keep us posted. He is obviously having somewhat of a faith transition, hopefully all goes well for him.

User avatar
hiding in plain sight
Posts: 205
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:38 am

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by hiding in plain sight » Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:53 am

fetchface wrote:I'm pretty direct and fearless when it comes to these kinds of conversations, so I said, "why not?" So I'm going to meet with him on the 30th. We'll see how it goes.
I actually love having conversations with people who think differently than me. But only if they are truly willing to share ideas and listen and not just want to be heard. It sounds like this bishop might be one of those people.

I would love to be a fly on the wall.

User avatar
Corsair
Posts: 3080
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by Corsair » Fri Oct 21, 2016 8:04 am

fetchface wrote:I shared this some time ago on the old board, but my bishop confessed to me at my daughter's baptismal interview that he "almost took my path" when I told him that I had resigned. He said it would be fun to chat some time. He's a really nice guy who I run into all the time taking my kids to dance class.
This could be a better visit than the usual meeting with a stalwart leader that has never had a faith crisis and cannot conceive why anyone would have one. It would be enjoyable to experience that level of empathy.

User avatar
Silver Girl
Posts: 375
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:31 am

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by Silver Girl » Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:47 pm

Please add me to that gathering of flies on the wall. The official term for that would be a 'business' of flies. I like that.

Do you plan to take along copies of anything to share? He sounds like an interesting and thoughtful man - I look forward to the followup report.
.
.
Silver Girl is sailing into the future. She is no longer scared.

User avatar
fetchface
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:45 pm

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by fetchface » Sat Oct 22, 2016 8:33 am

Well, I get the feeling that his "faith crisis" is something he considers to be in the past. I'm expecting, from what short conversations I have had so far, that he is somewhat like Bill Reel in his outlook on the church.

Probably the point I plan on touching on for sure is that I don't see how faith is a virtue. I also plan on talking about the morality that God shows in scripture and how I really feel that the atonement only serves to solve a manufactured problem, or at least that the idea that the tiniest of sins creates some sort of debt that can only be repaid by huge cosmic forces is completely silly. I probably won't dive into church history except to say that the only appropriate reaction when a prophet says that he has been commanded by God to couple with dozens of women is extreme skepticism.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
My blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/

User avatar
Silver Girl
Posts: 375
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:31 am

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by Silver Girl » Sat Oct 22, 2016 9:26 am

fetchface wrote:Well, I get the feeling that his "faith crisis" is something he considers to be in the past. I'm expecting, from what short conversations I have had so far, that he is somewhat like Bill Reel in his outlook on the church.

Probably the point I plan on touching on for sure is that I don't see how faith is a virtue. I also plan on talking about the morality that God shows in scripture and how I really feel that the atonement only serves to solve a manufactured problem, or at least that the idea that the tiniest of sins creates some sort of debt that can only be repaid by huge cosmic forces is completely silly. I probably won't dive into church history except to say that the only appropriate reaction when a prophet says that he has been commanded by God to couple with dozens of women is extreme skepticism.
After ponderizing on this overnight, I thought of the same thing you mention in your first paragraph - he may well think he can show you how he reconsidered things and had his faith restored, etc., and by counseling with you, he can convince you to believe Santa is still out there.

Regarding your last sentence, extreme skepticism is mild compared to what I might say (and actually did say to my leaders). It's disgusting to think Smith's actions (or Brigham's, or pick-another-'prophet') were framed as being commanded by God. Ask him how he'd feel if a male leader with that power told him God commanded him to marry his own daughter or granddaughter? That question raised a lot of eyebrows and caused some blanched looks when I posed it to various leaders.

Good luck - if he indeed thinks he's been through a crisis and come out of it & can therefore 'repair' you, maybe he will rethink his own crisis.
.
.
Silver Girl is sailing into the future. She is no longer scared.

User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 7109
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by Hagoth » Sun Oct 23, 2016 5:07 pm

Tell him we have an empty seat waiting for him here.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

User avatar
2bizE
Posts: 2412
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:33 pm

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by 2bizE » Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:07 pm

I'm waiting with anticipation for your report. Hope to hear soon how your meet went.
~2bizE

Korihor
Posts: 1239
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:37 am

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by Korihor » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:21 am

Soooo, how did it go?
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.

User avatar
Silver Girl
Posts: 375
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:31 am

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by Silver Girl » Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:13 am

Bump - just wanted to nag FF about that return & report deal we made.

:mrgreen:
.
.
Silver Girl is sailing into the future. She is no longer scared.

User avatar
fetchface
Posts: 123
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:45 pm

Re: I meet with the bishop in a little over a week

Post by fetchface » Wed Nov 02, 2016 4:39 pm

Well, sorry for keeping everyone waiting for the report.

It wasn't a tense conversation at all. We spoke for about an hour and a half. I felt understood and like I got to genuinely connect with someone. He stated a few times that he was not trying to get me to come back to church. We did not start or end with a prayer.

Basically, the bishop has a lot of the same concerns and ideas that I do, the biggest differences being that he has a positive experience in the church and he believes that "the spirit" (as manifested through strong emotional experiences) might be God communicating with him. He prefers to think that it is. (I hope I am representing his views accurately.)

He admitted that he doesn't feel the spirit terribly often, and feels it frequently when outside of a church setting like listening to music. He admitted that it could all be in his head.

We didn't talk much about historical issues. It was sort of just accepted that there was a lot of weird stuff in the history. I said that the moral contradictions bothered me a lot more than the logical ones. He agreed.

He shared the story of his crisis of faith at a high level. He had a friend ask him some questions that set him into learning things he had not imagined. He did say something interesting and that is that he had a "crisis of science" around the same time. I think this was probably just a crisis of fundamentalist thinking in general. I never had a "crisis of science," probably because I was never a science fundamentalist, expecting perfection or orthodoxy from the scientific community. He is a physicist by trade.

Overall, he seems like a really good guy and I think that people in the ward are probably lucky to have him there. I think if the brethren were like him, the church would be pretty benign and a lot of heartache would be avoided.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
My blog: http://untanglingmybrain.blogspot.com/

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 30 guests