NOM

On another thread, MORMORRISEY suggested that we have a thread discussing previous callings you have had. I thought it was a good idea, so here it goes.

Branch Presidency Counselor
Finance Clerk
Primary Pianist
Elder's Quorum Presidency
Young Men's Advisor
Sunday School Presidency

I actually really enjoyed being the finance clerk. I really enjoyed doing that. I had the perfect excuse to get out of any class or meeting whenever I wanted. I also really liked being the primary pianist, but that got old after a year.

Elder's Quorum Presidency and Sunday School Presidency are like the places left over worthless souls are sent. It seems that nearly all ward resources are directed towards the youth.

Some of the same callings for me.

Branch presidency
EQ presidency
Executive secretary
Ward clerk
Finance clerk
YM presidency
Primary teacher

Clerk was by far the best. I am currently on the scout committee, which is pretty much a nothing calling. Have turned down a few callings in the past few years. I think the ward leadership has no clue what to do with me.

Deacon, teacher, and priest presidencies.
Ward photographer (Ricks College)
District Leader (not ZL because MP felt something was holding me back, to which I confessed that I gizzed once while making out with a girl)
EQ temple planning committee
GD Teacher
DQ Advisor
EQP
YM President
BP Counselor
HP Assistant (current)

BP should change son and shake all the callings up. IDK if I can do much more.

RS president & counselor a few times
YW president & counselor
Primary president & counselor
RS teacher, Primary teacher, YW advisor

Sigh...sometimes I wish I could have all those hours back that I spent in these callings, but I did benefit from serving and I worked with and served some wonderful people who taught me a lot.

I learned the truth about the church while I was RS president and still served a couple more....very.....long....years. I wouldn't recommend that for anyone as it was rough.



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Evil_Bert wrote: ↑

Mon Jan 30, 2017 9:36 pm

Clerk was by far the best.

Can confirm.

Other callings:
EQ presidency
Sunday school president and teacher
Ward missionary
Primary teacher
YM everything at least once
LDSSA chairman
Normal 2yr FTM

Chronological current to oldest:

Currently no calling
High Council
EQ Secretary
Sunday School presidency
Nursery
Priest Q Adviser
Ward Mission Leader

This thread got me thinking. If you're a woman your answers are pretty much going to be RS, YW, or primary. The end. Oops, I forgot Den Mother.

nibbler wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:34 am

This thread got me thinking. If you're a woman your answers are pretty much going to be RS, YW, or primary. The end. Oops, I forgot Den Mother.

The other is wife of the (insert male calling) where they won't give you a calling because it is implied that your spouses calling is also yours but without any authority or recognition.

Just for those who didn't see the other thread, (and thanks azflyer for starting it) when I first came to NOM as a lurker back in the day, there was a thread about the callings those on NOM had. I was utterly amazed at the amount of service the church was losing, simply from people asking questions and/or having concerns about the church. It was SO therapeutic at the time for me to see that, so I'm hoping it has the same effect on someone else! So I better put down my "service time":

Primary teacher (for five years as an early married guy, loved it. Hoping to return!!!)
YM Pres/Counsellor
EQ Counsellor
Bishopric
Bishop
High Council
HP Assistant
SS Teacher (for nearly 9 years, last few as GD teacher)

I am currently unemployed, as I was just released as the GD teacher - and THAT is the story I need to post. Have to gird up my loins for that tale, stay tuned.

The other thing I recognized is that my service has always been geographically limited. On my mission, I was a DL for a little while, but never a ZL. Apart from a few months on the High Council, I've always served in the ward. I guess my unorthodoxy just plays to a smaller crowd!!

Wife of the ward mission leader (current)
Primary presidency
Nursery
RS teacher
Ward chorister (x3)
RS presidency
Primary teacher

With my current "calling" the bishop sat me down after the call had been issued to DH to explain that since we only have sisters in our ward that he wants me to be their first point of contact. I make the daily calls and resolve, in his words, any "feminine issues". So, not actually my calling, but...

Ward Clerk
Membership Clerk
Several Young Men presidency callings
Elder Quorum Counselor
Primary Teacher
Ward Family History Specialist
Sunday School Teacher

I have a growing list of callings that I can no longer accept in good faith (or bad faith in my case). So I don't ever expect to proceed into a bishopric, ward mission leader, further quorum leadership, or even High Priest.

Here is my list:

Finance Clerk
SS Teacher
EQ Presidency (3 times, never president)
Membership Clerk
YM Presidency
Scout Committee
Executive Secretary (current calling)

Currently nothing

Most every YM Presidency as youth
EQ Teacher
Cub Master (by far my favorite calling ever)
SS Teacher
YM Leader
Ward Activity Director

That's most of it.

Korihor wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 31, 2017 8:50 am

Currently nothing

Me too!
Best. Calling. Ever.


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I don't recall ever being called, just told. And thus, many were told and all felt chosen. And they cried out with a loud voice before thinking, "Baaaa Baaa-aaaaa!Baaa-aaaa-aa!"

- SS teacher: - mostly teaching teens as they rotated teachers faster than Arthur Hoggett (Babe movie) can sheer a sheep).

- primary teacher: where I taught kids how to colour outside the lines and sing songs about how to hallucinate on joy alone re: Popcorn popping on apricot trees (baaaaAAAAaaaa. In my teens I hallucinated about joy. She was hot...) We also taught them about the labelites (what we mormons call people with cursed skin people) who didn't blossom like a white rose and could falsify their DNA so scientists couldn't prove the BofM was true. We also taught them how to lie at the pulpit or they wouldn't get a lint-covered sucker or go to Heaven.

- EQ president: I have no memory of this. (Wait! We moved a lot of sheep - physically)

- GD teacher: I moved a lot of sheep - spiritually. Or so they thought. I got pretty good at dramatic effect - even man-crying on demand. I also called these sheep to repentance for not removing those clingy things stuck to the wool around their butts before sitting on the pews.

- executive secretary: Did very little. Didn't make sense to me to be the middle man with Facebook, texting, and a Bishop who didn't understand that a ten minute interview that went over by ninety minutes would make people next in line confess sins to him they recently committed in the foyer like, "Thou shall not think about dismembering the bishop." Read the book of Abraham four times if you haven't heard of this commandment, BTW. You won't find it, but I just wanted to see if I could get someone to read it four times. Maybe Korihors father-in-law would do it.

- first councillor in BR: In this calling, I told the unquestioning, freshly sheered sheep what they wanted to do for the next few years. We sometimes forgot to pray about it, but we always heard, "Baaaa. . .. Baaaa" anyway so it didn't matter.

Various callings in the YM: If I commented here, I'd have to visit my therapist - still have trace amounts of PTSD coursing through my veins from all the sheep 'Baaaaing" loudly at the same time integrated with loud disturbing sounds violently ejected from the bad air out vent located . . . (never mind) followed by uncontrollable laughter.

- Stake Young Men Councillor: This is where we docked the male lambs tails. We called this technique hormonal castration (or sexual suppression) to which they responded, "Baaaa . . . " with a few exceptions that went, "oink, oink!!!!!!!" because they had already unsuppressed it.

- Stake Young Men President: Having reached the super hormone suppressor status, I instructed the various ward leadership on how to make oinkers go "baaaaa" and baaa's to go, "Blahblahblahblahblah" - a most necessary sheep herding skill essential to effective mission service.

- mission prep teacher: This was mostly a linguistics class to teach them all how to say, "Baaaaa" the same way for some were saying things like, "What abaaaaout the race essay?" or "Did Joseph Smith really have that many wives? Did he 'baaaaaa' them all?" or "I don't feel like a male sheep rib."

- stake SS pres. 1st C: Our tolding required us to sit around for three years discussing what we thought we should do.

- Stake high council: There are no sheep here. . . just sheep counters. Occasionally, they try to make their 'Baaaa' sound important, to convince themselves they had a much broader baaaacabulary then the rest of the herd, and thus could make hard decisions about how to wow others with sports analogies.

Mission stuff:
ZL
AP (that was eye opening)

Young adult ward:
Gospel doctrine teacher
Stake mission secretary (back when they did that stuff)

After marriage:
Elders quorum president
YM deacons advisor
Scoutmaster
Bishopric counselor (Worst calling ever besides Bishop, first testimony cracks here)
Stake YM secretary
High council (first time)
Ward employment specialist
High council (2nd time, new stake, start of faith transition)
Stake technology specialist (likely forever)
-Turned down all local ward callings from this point on (was offered scouts and teaching positions)

AP-Teacher 1997
WML 1998

Married and moved to another ward

WML 1998-2000
2nd counselor in bishopric nr1 1998-1999
1st counselor in bishopric nr2 1999-2000
Exec Secretary in bishopric nr 2 2000

moved to another ward

Activities Committee Chair 2000-2001
Ward Clerk 2001-2004
SS-President 2004-2006
High Councillor 2006-2009
Exec Secretary in bishopric 2009-2010
1st counselor in bishopric 2010-2012

FC strikes in 2011

SS-President 2012-2013
HPGL 2013-2015
FH Consultant 2015-current

EQ Secretary/Counselor (2x)
SS President/Counselor
SS Teacher
YM Presidency Counselor
Primary Teacher

I am currently the primary teacher, Sunbeams, with lessons like "I have a body", and "I can love my family". I don't think I could do the others anymore. Without real belief in the church I don't think I could bring myself to put that much time into a calling, or find something I am comfortable teaching. My shelf broke while I was the SS President, making Ward Council extremely painful. Ward Council probably helped break my shelf actually, what an awful meeting.

I'm a slug. All I've ever done is YM counselor and teach primary. No leadership, thankfully.

Employment Specialist
Elders Quorum Presidency (Sec.)
Gospel Essentials Teacher
Ward Missionary
Assistant Scoutmaster
Membership Clerk
Elders Quorum Instructor

And for fun:
Sacrament Meeting Attendee
Home Teacher
Sunday School Attendee