Mission Kid Abandoned
- Mormorrisey
- Posts: 1403
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:54 pm
Mission Kid Abandoned
I'm rather shocked that I'm the first to post this story. It's about a kid who didn't want to go on a mission, his parents left him in Bryce Canyon (wherever that is) and after spending the night with strangers, his grandparents convinced him to try a mission, and a happy ending. Here's a good synopsis:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyat ... -horrific/
What's even more interesting, is that LDS Living picked up the story, then edited it to say the kid found himself "stranded" in the desert, and were savaged in the comments section by what appear to be good Mormons, which gives me some hope for the church I was raised in, and then closed the comments. It is a really tough story, reddit is exploding with it, and I'm amazed that some thought this was "inspirational." I grew up with a narcissistic parent, and this kind of crap, not as bad, but bad, was constant.
But.
It's not the parents, it's not the culture, it's the DOCTRINE. A doctrine of a conditionally loving God pushed by the next prophet of the church that causes these kinds of scenarios. That unless you obey, you are cast out. That unless you do what I say, I cannot bless you. And on and on. It's the doctrine that's toxic, and needs to change. But I don't see it changing anytime soon; along with the November policy Utah lawmakers are left wondering why they have a teen suicide crisis on their hands. Simply unbelievable.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyat ... -horrific/
What's even more interesting, is that LDS Living picked up the story, then edited it to say the kid found himself "stranded" in the desert, and were savaged in the comments section by what appear to be good Mormons, which gives me some hope for the church I was raised in, and then closed the comments. It is a really tough story, reddit is exploding with it, and I'm amazed that some thought this was "inspirational." I grew up with a narcissistic parent, and this kind of crap, not as bad, but bad, was constant.
But.
It's not the parents, it's not the culture, it's the DOCTRINE. A doctrine of a conditionally loving God pushed by the next prophet of the church that causes these kinds of scenarios. That unless you obey, you are cast out. That unless you do what I say, I cannot bless you. And on and on. It's the doctrine that's toxic, and needs to change. But I don't see it changing anytime soon; along with the November policy Utah lawmakers are left wondering why they have a teen suicide crisis on their hands. Simply unbelievable.
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
- Just This Guy
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Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
And people wonder why Utah has a teen/young adult suicide problem. No wonder. If this is what a kid has to look forward to if they show any doubt, its not surprising that some kids choose the ultimate escape.
One thing I do wonder is the mom of this kid was born and raised Muslim and converted to Mormonism as an adult. I wonder if the extremism form that religion helped to create the mentality that this would be okay. Of course, I also fault the father for allowing her to do that.
One thing I do wonder is the mom of this kid was born and raised Muslim and converted to Mormonism as an adult. I wonder if the extremism form that religion helped to create the mentality that this would be okay. Of course, I also fault the father for allowing her to do that.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams
- BriansThoughtMirror
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Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
Holy crap. And people wonder why a person in a faith crisis is hesitant to talk with family members, too.
Reflections From Brian's Brain
https://briansthoughtmirror.wordpress.com/
https://briansthoughtmirror.wordpress.com/
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
I love the replies that state they didnt mean to publish the part about the parents abandoning the Kid. "Oh, sorry, we meant to edit that bad part out of our faith promoting story." I'm not sure what is worse; editing it to make it look better, or assuming that the bad part was really the faith promoting part?
There is just no way to salvage that story.
There is just no way to salvage that story.
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
I'm sure this is a set of parents trying to do what's best for their son. I'm sure their own self-esteem and worry about how they would be viewed by their community as failed parents, whose son wouldn't go on his mission,.....I'm sure that had nothing to do with their decision to leave the poor kid in the desert......after all isn't that what Jesus would do???
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."
"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."
George Washington
"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."
George Washington
- Mormorrisey
- Posts: 1403
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2016 6:54 pm
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
Mormons whitewashing a story for promoting their faith? Nah. Wouldn't happen.Emower wrote: ↑Fri Jul 21, 2017 2:48 pmI love the replies that state they didnt mean to publish the part about the parents abandoning the Kid. "Oh, sorry, we meant to edit that bad part out of our faith promoting story." I'm not sure what is worse; editing it to make it look better, or assuming that the bad part was really the faith promoting part?
There is just no way to salvage that story.
BTW, here's the follow-up story.
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyat ... tory-ever/
"And I don't need you...or, your homespun philosophies."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
"And when you try to break my spirit, it won't work, because there's nothing left to break."
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
Odd choice of words that Danielle Wagner uses when she says that the original version of the story is one "that we should have kept hidden". A Freudian slip possibly?
Seems that she should have said the story was one that "should have remained unpublished".
People who get used to spinning everything they come across to make it work to their advantage really know what they're doing on some level.
Seems that she should have said the story was one that "should have remained unpublished".
People who get used to spinning everything they come across to make it work to their advantage really know what they're doing on some level.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."
"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."
George Washington
"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."
George Washington
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
I came on just now to post the story if no one else had.Mormorrisey wrote: ↑Fri Jul 21, 2017 7:13 amI'm rather shocked that I'm the first to post this story.
There are 2 Gods. One who created us. The other you created. The God you made up is just like you-thrives on flattery-makes you live in fear.
Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK
Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
http://www.ldsliving.com/Our-Take-on-th ... ne/s/85950
The reasoning of why they did what they did is just as nonsensical. "We choose to focus on the positive" mentality is a poor excuse to ignore reality.
Our US legal system has a much better definition of story telling. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
The reasoning of why they did what they did is just as nonsensical. "We choose to focus on the positive" mentality is a poor excuse to ignore reality.
Our US legal system has a much better definition of story telling. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Reading can severely damage your ignorance.
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
I have been following the story and find it both hilarious and disgusting at the same time. I know there are zealots in every religion but the fact that this can happen in ours shows why some boys feel ashamed if they can't/don't want to go. I think it should be done by choice and not as a matter of course.
- Give It Time
- Posts: 1244
- Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:52 pm
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
Mormorrisey wrote: ↑Fri Jul 21, 2017 7:13 amI'm rather shocked that I'm the first to post this story. It's about a kid who didn't want to go on a mission, his parents left him in Bryce Canyon (wherever that is) and after spending the night with strangers, his grandparents convinced him to try a mission, and a happy ending. Here's a good synopsis:
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyat ... -horrific/
What's even more interesting, is that LDS Living picked up the story, then edited it to say the kid found himself "stranded" in the desert, and were savaged in the comments section by what appear to be good Mormons, which gives me some hope for the church I was raised in, and then closed the comments. It is a really tough story, reddit is exploding with it, and I'm amazed that some thought this was "inspirational." I grew up with a narcissistic parent, and this kind of crap, not as bad, but bad, was constant.
But.
It's not the parents, it's not the culture, it's the DOCTRINE. A doctrine of a conditionally loving God pushed by the next prophet of the church that causes these kinds of scenarios. That unless you obey, you are cast out. That unless you do what I say, I cannot bless you. And on and on. It's the doctrine that's toxic, and needs to change. But I don't see it changing anytime soon; along with the November policy Utah lawmakers are left wondering why they have a teen suicide crisis on their hands. Simply unbelievable.
Yes it is and newsflash. No one cares. You know I do. This is my precise issue with the church. I can tell you, people care enough to say they're sorry, but no one cares enough to actually look at the doctrines or the fact that the parents, the grandfather, probably the bishop, the family, the whole ward, the publishers of LDSLiving, everyone who read that article, the COB, FAIR, everyone who generates a list of reasons people defect and leaves off this issue don't care. If they cared, they'd take a look at what is precisely in our water to maintain this level of complacency.
There may be people who do care, but they are far and few between. They care enough to offer sympathy, but not enough to clean up our water.
A few more scraps of thoughts as post script. My children and I were temporarily abandoned, because their father couldn't handle one of our children crying. Not left the house. I mean ordered us out of the car and drove off. Years later, he tried to sell it as a wholesome family activity. I wouldn't let him. What I'm saying is this reframing of events appears to be typical.
People don't always laugh because they're amused. They laugh because crying or getting angry aren't socially acceptable.
At 70 years-old, my older self would tell my younger self to use the words, "f*ck off" much more frequently. --Helen Mirren
- Give It Time
- Posts: 1244
- Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:52 pm
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
Another thought that is worth its own post.
I'm not saying they've abandoned in other instances. I will say this is clear documented physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and financial--if he spent any of his own money--abuse. He is just over the age of majority. This is actually a pretty advanced maneuver. I'm sure other abuse has happened and this is an example of how far things have escalated.
I glean from the OP, this young man has younger (minor) siblings who are the children of a mother who we can prove abandons her children as a way to get them to comply. This young man's younger siblings are in danger. The children need to be removed from the home, the mother have her recommend confiscated, the bishop needs to have a conversation with the father to find out how like-minded or not the father is, the mother and the father investigated--especially the mother.
I bet it won't happen.
I'm not saying they've abandoned in other instances. I will say this is clear documented physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and financial--if he spent any of his own money--abuse. He is just over the age of majority. This is actually a pretty advanced maneuver. I'm sure other abuse has happened and this is an example of how far things have escalated.
I glean from the OP, this young man has younger (minor) siblings who are the children of a mother who we can prove abandons her children as a way to get them to comply. This young man's younger siblings are in danger. The children need to be removed from the home, the mother have her recommend confiscated, the bishop needs to have a conversation with the father to find out how like-minded or not the father is, the mother and the father investigated--especially the mother.
I bet it won't happen.
At 70 years-old, my older self would tell my younger self to use the words, "f*ck off" much more frequently. --Helen Mirren
- PalmSprings
- Posts: 69
- Joined: Mon Apr 10, 2017 3:23 am
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
I've read through some of the comments on the ldsliving website and also on a page posted by the kid who was abandoned.. Of course they are mostly of the variety you would expect. Such as "There are worse places to be abandoned," etc. etc. However one comment that stuck with that was posted on a Facebook page: "People are so short sided and do not get that this is a good thing.. his choice to serve!"
https://www.facebook.com/14639957972512 ... 656828629/
So my response is, Was it really "his" choice to serve? And even if it was his choice, was the choice made with a clear mind or out of fear. Fear that he would no longer have the support of his family. Fear that his brothers, sisters uncles cousins would look upon him with shame the rest of his life. This young man was manipulated to make this choice. Making a choice because you are forced to is a very bad place to be in. I would bet that when something goes wrong on his mission (and they always do its the nature of being a missionary) all those negative feelings will come back to the surface. And he will start harboring a resentment against his parents.
https://www.facebook.com/14639957972512 ... 656828629/
So my response is, Was it really "his" choice to serve? And even if it was his choice, was the choice made with a clear mind or out of fear. Fear that he would no longer have the support of his family. Fear that his brothers, sisters uncles cousins would look upon him with shame the rest of his life. This young man was manipulated to make this choice. Making a choice because you are forced to is a very bad place to be in. I would bet that when something goes wrong on his mission (and they always do its the nature of being a missionary) all those negative feelings will come back to the surface. And he will start harboring a resentment against his parents.
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
Once, several years ago, we accidentally left my daughter at grandma's house. Drove about 10 miles before figuring it out. Went back to get her. Felt like terrible parents for a few days.
But, to purposefully leave your kid out in the desert is beyond wrong. It is probably criminal. I hope those parents feel like sh$t for years to come.
But, to purposefully leave your kid out in the desert is beyond wrong. It is probably criminal. I hope those parents feel like sh$t for years to come.
~2bizE
- NOMinally Mormon
- Posts: 82
- Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:11 pm
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
It is disturbing that this woman's maternal instincts have been overridden by religious conditioning.
- Raylan Givens
- Posts: 297
- Joined: Sat Dec 17, 2016 12:09 am
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
That is interesting.NOMinally Mormon wrote: ↑Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:29 pmIt is disturbing that this woman's maternal instincts have been overridden by religious conditioning.
Considering how long this expectation had been thought about and talked about it makes some sense
"Ah, you know, I think you use the Bible to do whatever the hell you like" - Raylan Givens
Re: Mission Kid Abandoned
What a great insight. Brainwashed.NOMinally Mormon wrote: ↑Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:29 pmIt is disturbing that this woman's maternal instincts have been overridden by religious conditioning.
~2bizE
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