Toddler Elohim

Discussions toward a better understanding of LDS doctrine, history, and culture. Discussion of Christianity, religion, and faith in general is welcome.
Post Reply
User avatar
Hagoth
Posts: 7075
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Toddler Elohim

Post by Hagoth » Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:49 am

Something I started to say on another thread was going off topic, and it cracked me up, so I thought I'd start a new thread.

I was talking about how about half of the people who have ever lived on this planet were before the advent of modern medicine and died at birth or in early childhood. According to Mormon doctrine they will be exalted without the need of saving ordinances, and according the the King Follett discourse, they will be gods while remaining babies and toddlers for eternity.

Imagine if Elohim were one of those. We know Jesus grew to adulthood, so what Joseph would have seen in the grove would have been a grown man floating in the air with a hovering baby bobbing next to him. The baby would have waved his chubby little hand toward the man and said in a sweet little voice, "Dis is my bewobed son. Heaw him."

Then he would have gone home to his celestial harem of women, girls, and babies to get back to the business of gettin' busy to populate some more worlds (aka God's work and glory).
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

User avatar
Corsair
Posts: 3080
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:58 am
Location: Phoenix

Re: Toddler Elohim

Post by Corsair » Thu Mar 22, 2018 9:01 am

the King Follet Discourse is in a similarly sticky position as D&C 132 and the entire Book of Abraham. They all contain enough troubling elements that many knowledgeable leaders would prefer that they simply disappear from discourse. But each contains a number of essential doctrines needed as a foundational reason for the existence of the LDS church.

King Follet Discourse
  • Discussions of exaltation, eternal progression, and becoming gods!
  • However, "infants on thrones"
Book of Abraham
  • Pre-mortal existence, foreordination, Great Council in Heaven before Creation!
  • However, institutional racism, anachronisms, evidence of simply being a 19th century production, evidence of entirely incorrect translation at best
D&C 132
  • Justification of plural marriage for early church leaders!
  • However, Justification of plural marriage for early church leaders
Clearly, D&C 132 is a problem. The bigger problem is that so much of LDS doctrine, history, and culture contains very disturbing implications. Toddler gods is just one of the funnier ones. I eagerly await "Studio C" doing a hilarious sketch about this.

el-asherah
Posts: 85
Joined: Mon Apr 24, 2017 5:12 pm

Re: Toddler Elohim

Post by el-asherah » Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:34 am

This. Absolutely. Explains. Everything!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have 2 year old toddler boy, come to think of it, his behavior is almost exactly like Elohim (esp in the Old Testament). God may well be a two year old toddler? :o

You Can't Make This Stuff Up! Infants on Thrones. My mormon crazy meter is pegged.
I say these things in the name of Joshua and Awmen

User avatar
moksha
Posts: 5050
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Toddler Elohim

Post by moksha » Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:40 am

Image
Way to go Hagoth!
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

User avatar
RubinHighlander
Posts: 1906
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am
Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Toddler Elohim

Post by RubinHighlander » Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:58 am

Hagoth wrote:
Thu Mar 22, 2018 6:49 am
"Dis is my bewobed son. Heaw him."
OMG! LMFAO on that visual!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

User avatar
RubinHighlander
Posts: 1906
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am
Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Toddler Elohim

Post by RubinHighlander » Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:59 am

moksha wrote:
Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:40 am
Image
Way to go Hagoth!
Way to go penguin on finding that creepy awesome StarTrek nugget!
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 46 guests