God, Angels, Weapons, and Prophets

[w2mz]

This post on the “Why I love the essays” thread made me think about a question I’m not sure I’ve seen answered before:

Am I missing anything? Does this accurately rank "angel with a drawn sword" within the hierarchy of LDS restoration?

As others have mentioned... If the angel has to show up with a weapon and threaten people with it, polygamy might actually be The. Most. Important Doctrine... Ever.

Does someone have a list of all the times God had to threaten his mortal prophet on earth to do his will? Did he send an angel, what was the weapon of choice, a what was the reason/doctrine that was so important it required an “over-ride” of the prophet’s free agency?

As wtfluff and Corsair point out, you’ve got to think those would probably be the top most important things on Gods priority list.

I can think of a few off the top of my head:

Time period - OT
Prophet - Abraham
Angel - yes
Weapon - ?
Reason - Don’t kill your son even though I told you to kill him

Time period - OT
Prophet - don’t remember
Angel - yes
Weapon - don’t remember
Reason - Stop beating your ass or I’ll beat your ass

Time period - OT
Prophet- Jonah
Angel - don’t remember
Weapon - Big fish
Reason - Every youn man and prophet should serve a mission even if they don’t want to.

Time period - Restoration
Prophet - Joseph Smith
Angel - yes (multiple occasions)
Weapon - Drawn sword
Reason - if you don’t do a bunch of women I’ll do you with my blade.

Are there others? Is there a list of the doctrines associated with these rare occasions where God had to step in to make sure his will was enforced?

[RubinHighlander]

I really like where this is going with these short and to the point summaries. Here's some more passive aggressive examples:

OT
Moses
Angel - nope, burning bush
Weapon - fire
Reason - That's billion year old stony ground, so take off your damn shoes; this is a shoeless burning bush house

NT
Zechariah
Angel - yes
Weapon - grabs tongue, makes dumb
Reason - didn't think his old lady Elizabeth could get preggers

OT
Dude carrying the ark of the covenant
Angel - no, just God laying down a black and white rule
Weapon - the ark of the covenant
Reason - trips and tries to save the ark from falling, but touches it and dies, because that's the right way to treat your man servants when they try to do good things! Should have called Indiana Jones.

[Hagoth]

One of the many fascinating things about the angel-with-sword story that should be a huge red flag to believers is that none of the girls saw the angel. They had to take Joseph's word for it. Nothing suspicious about that.

If God had a destroying angel set aside, ready to enforce His will, why didn't he send the angel to intervene in the Haun's Mill Massacre that happened right in the middle of all of this teenage bride stuff? You can only conclude that the life and safety of the saints was of a much lower priority for God than Joseph Smith's sex life. Why didn't God send that angel to defend the little girls who were being sexually abused by another middle aged prophet inside his holy temple (Warren Jeffs)? Not on God's radar, apparently. If you read the essay you must conclude, as Corsair pointed out, that making sure Joseph was getting enough sex was at the very top of God's laundry list. And the essay pretty much gives that a big thumbs-up and expects you to do the same.

[RubinHighlander]

Why didn't God send that angel to defend the little girls who were being sexually abused by another middle aged prophet inside his holy temple (Warren Jeffs)?

This plays into the divers personalities of God. Why would God send and angel into Egypt to kill all their babies because the Jews were more special than they were? Is that really the example of a loving heavenly father figure? Would you tell your less favorite kids that if they don't clean their rooms you are going to kill their baby puppy and bunnies? I say the red flag goes all the way back to all organized religions!

[IT_Veteran]

One of the many fascinating things about the angel-with-sword story that should be a huge red flag to believers is that none of the girls saw the angel. They had to take Joseph's word for it. Nothing suspicious about that.

If God had a destroying angel set aside, ready to enforce His will, why didn't he send the angel to intervene in the Haun's Mill Massacre that happened right in the middle of all of this teenage bride stuff? You can only conclude that the life and safety of the saints was of a much lower priority for God than Joseph Smith's sex life. Why didn't God send that angel to defend the little girls who were being sexually abused by another middle aged prophet inside his holy temple (Warren Jeffs)? Not on God's radar, apparently. If you read the essay you must conclude, as Corsair pointed out, that making sure Joseph was getting enough sex was at the very top of God's laundry list. And the essay pretty much gives that a big thumbs-up and expects you to do the same.

It's stuff like this that keeps me coming back to my echo chamber.