General Conference Predictions

[2bizE]

It’s about time for GC and I’ve heard many predictions. What have you heard and what do you predict?

I predict a change in the quorums of 70. Some type of restructuring. The Q70 is equal in authority to the Q12 and FP though nobody acts like it. The more 70s added, the more possibilities of the Q70 overstepping. Can’t have that.

[Anon70]

I’ve heard 2 hour church. But I hear that every GC and I think it’s a rumor they use to drive up attendance

But my Uber TBM aunt who has a well connected son insists it’s really happening this time......

[Red Ryder]

I’ve heard 2 hour church. But I hear that every GC and I think it’s a rumor they use to drive up attendance

But my Uber TBM aunt who has a well connected son insists it’s really happening this time......

I've heard this too very recently from "someone who is connected..." whatever that means. There's also an at home study manual class thingy that's in beta testing.

https://www.lds.org/church/news/church- ... y?lang=eng

[jfro18]

I've heard this too very recently from "someone who is connected..." whatever that means. There's also an at home study manual class thingy that's in beta testing.

https://www.lds.org/church/news/church- ... y?lang=eng

It makes sense they might finally make the jump considering that these home study manuals are all set for their 2019 "curriculum."

I know it would make members happy to have one less hour there, so it would be a good move for the church since the 3rd hour isn't essential and probably doesn't add to member's obedience to the church anyway.

[Brent]

The church will no longer solemnize civil marriages in the temple.

[Ho Lee Turtle]

I’ve heard the 2 hour church rumor quite a bit, even that it has been in trial version in a couple places outside the USA. Part of the rumor is that in some countries people are able to take a break from their jobs to attend church for up to 2 hours and this will help them be able to attend more often now. They are also holding services on days other than Sunday in order to accommodate people in areas where Sunday is not the typical sabbath observance day like it is in the USA as part of the trial.

The other rumor is that there is a clarification coming on word of wisdom related to tea. Apparently some teas are good for you and are ok. Some are still bad and not ok. They will provide guidance as to which are which. However, there is still no clarification on mild barley drinks being likened unto 3.2 beer.

My best prediction though is that there will be a lot of stories told about how the new ministering program has changed the world and been so successful.

[Red Ryder]

I'd be happy to attend church for 8 hours on a Sunday if they would change the 24/7 garments to temple only.

Sleeping naked would no longer be a sin!

[wtfluff]

10 hours of boring meetings, put on by a giant real-estate corporation, for their convention they have every 6 months, where a bunch of out-of-touch octogenarians talk about each other.

Oh, I was supposed to make a prediction? See previous paragraph/run-on sentence. I'll avoid the drivel at pretty much all cost.

[Not Buying It]

My best prediction though is that there will be a lot of stories told about how the new ministering program has changed the world and been so successful.

You’ve nailed it! Along with a ton of talk about how lucky we are to have a prophet, seer, and revelator in these wicked times, with all of the marvelous changes he has made in the last few months. Who knows, President Nelson may whip out one of those patented changes-that-don’t-change-much-of-anything to throw a bone to the faithful.

And at least one speaker will try and villianize anyone who supports Sam, using oblique references and without referring to him directly.

[Palerider]

I'm predicting Mr. Bednar will come to a complete hault mid-sentence and someone will have to insert 6 new double A's to get him started again.

Sister Bednar will be the obvious scape goat for not remembering to check his battery level pre-conference.

[moksha]

I suspect that General Conference presentations will include:

1. Lobbying against medicinal marijuana.
2. The importance of all children being subjected to interviews by LDS bishops.
3. Obeying Church Authorities.

[nibbler]

My best prediction though is that there will be a lot of stories told about how the new ministering program has changed the world and been so successful.

I predict the opposite. There will be a reprimand talk. "A lot of you thought that ministering meant you didn't have to do anything anymore. You were wrong and you are now under condemnation." And we'll take turns reading that talk out loud during EQ at least 4 times between now and next conference.

I've heard this too very recently from "someone who is connected..." whatever that means.

It's got to be hard keeping a lid on things. First the church has to run the change by legal to make sure 2 hour church doesn't open them up to new liabilities. Then the church has to run it past the actuaries to see if the change to 2 hour church somehow ends up costing the church more money. Then the church has to run it past the correlation department to make sure we don't have 3 hours of church because it absolutely must align with the symbolism of the holy number 3. Then finally they have to have a team to write their talks for them and have the talks translated into dozens of languages.

That's a lot of changing hands.

It's October general conference. You want a prediction about conference? I'll give you a conference prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

[Not Buying It]

It's October general conference. You want a prediction about conference? I'll give you a conference prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

Nice Groundhog Day quote! And entirely appropriate - General Conference is just like the movie Groundhog Day, because it is just the same thing over and over and over and over...

[MoPag]

I'm predicting Mr. Bednar will come to a complete hault mid-sentence and someone will have to insert 6 new double A's to get him started again.

Sister Bednar will be the obvious scape goat for not remembering to check his battery level pre-conference.

Palerider wins the internet today!!!

[Corsair]

There's also an at home study manual class thingy that's in beta testing.

https://www.lds.org/church/news/church- ... y?lang=eng

Just what we need: a new obligation for studying at home. Not enough people are reading their scriptures so now we might have a new way to make it more boring. I remember the few times I looked at the seminary workbooks and noted what a bland and sleep inducing curricula they embodied.

Not only do we have several hours of church on Sunday, now we have homework. If this is inflicted upon the church, I'm sure that my wife will be fairly faithful doing it. I, on the other hand, will find loads of other things to study that take me out of this book as much as possible.

[MoPag]

Let's see, I predict someone tries to create a buzzword. Kind of like what ponderize it guy did. And then we will see that buzzword memed to death by our TBM friends on FB.

I predict some self congratulations for helping in the aftermath of the hurricane.

I predict Rasband will still be in full suck-up mode. I predict Renlund will put everyone to sleep with his monotone.

I predict the RS session will be an effing nightmare under the Nelson regime. I predict I will need a glass or two of wine to get through it.

[2bizE]

The church will no longer solemnize civil marriages in the temple.

Brent, I thought the church stopped doing that several years ago. Maybe I’m not understanding fully, but the church used to allow you to be married civilly, for time only in the temple.

[Red Ryder]

The church will no longer solemnize civil marriages in the temple.

Brent, I thought the church stopped doing that several years ago. Maybe I’m not understanding fully, but the church used to allow you to be married civilly, for time only in the temple.

I think he's alluding to the temple ceremony as the one stop marriage event that excludes non-members and masturbators. Change the policy to mirror other countries that don't recognized the ceremony as a marriage meaning you have to civilly get married first, then sealed in the temple second.

This would eliminate the exclusion factor.

[2bizE]

If 2 hour church comes to fruition, I will immediately embark on a push for 70 minute church.

[Red Ryder]

2 hour church ideas?

SM/SS/3H = 40/40/40?

SM/SS/3H = 60/30/30?

SM/2H = 60/60?

SM/Sitting in my car = 60/60?