Annoying things about Mormon Funerals

[RubinHighlander]

A bit of nostalgia today as I went back into the ward house of my youth. I watched this building as it was built, helped put shingles on the roof, did my mission farewell and return report there. Among the fond memories there were also dreadful ones, like watching the little factory video with my dad and other youth on the evils of masturbation. Anywho, I was there today to attend the funeral of my best friend's dad who had died of cancer. My friend and one of his brothers are NOMs and gave talks referencing no church material, did not bear testimony and not close in the name of Jebus. The other sister and brother did the typical TBM talks. It was a good balance. My friend's dad was a 37 year CES instructor, so the audience as probably 99% TBM.

Overall I enjoyed the non-denominational talks, tolerated the hymns and TBM talks and I appreciated the bishop keeping his remarks short. What really annoyed me was the beginning of the meeting where the bishop recognized and thanked the stake president and members of the high council for being there and called the SP out by name. Yes this was a TBM LDS member and the funeral was in an LDS chapel, but it really irks me they have to treat it like a 100% LDS official meeting. It's not for the SP, Bishop and all the other cronies, it's for the family and you would think they could take a break from their land of make believe instead of throwing their leadership positions in your face every chance they get. It's ignorant pious and inconsiderate behavior IMO.

My NOM friend and his brother and I just got back from a local bar. We had a couple of beers together, reminisced over fond memories of their dad and funny memories growing up. I was so happy to see them laughing and decompressing after a long and emotional day.

[Palerider]

Yep, anything you do as an official function in a MORMON church is under the auspices of MORMON leadership. It's their building, their show and they're in charge.

Which is why my mother's funeral didn't take place in one and my brother's didn't take place in one, my father's won't take place in one and my funeral for sure won't take place in one. I love being able to say, "You have no power here and nothing to say about how things are organized or who is recognized." In a funeral home the Bishop or SP are just another "Joe Blow" off the street. No more power than anybody else which is precisely where they belong.

[nibbler]

I've been to a few funerals in recent years. A stake president presided. A lesson on the Mormon version of the plan of salvation was taught and framed as, "This is what [the deceased] believed."

The, "This is what [the deceased] believed." was the phrase that stuck with me. If you are a TR holding Mormon I suppose the implication is that all other members of the church know exactly what you believe.

I got to wondering whether I'd appreciate someone at my funeral putting words in my mouth, presuming all the while to know exactly what I believe. It made me wonder how much a funeral is meant to honor the life of the deceased and how much of the funeral is for the living, meaning people in attendance may need to have the plan of salvation reiterated to them to help them through their loss and who cares if a small group of people listen to a lecture about things I supposedly believed but really didn't.

[Corsair]

I've been to a few funerals in recent years. A stake president presided. A lesson on the Mormon version of the plan of salvation was taught and framed as, "This is what [the deceased] believed."

I am no where near funeral age, but I suppose I should leave some instructions noting that this kind of LDS rhetoric has no place at my funeral. On the other, I would be deceased and at best have better things to think about during my funeral.