MoPag wrote: ↑
Thu Jan 03, 2019 6:05 pm
Thoughtful wrote: ↑
Thu Jan 03, 2019 9:29 am
It's all problematic. Lots of pain.
It really is. I'm glad my primary girls and DD (if she choses to go) won't be subjected to all that sexist bullsh!t. But damn...the damage that did to so many women. FMH has a whole sereis on this: http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org ... ts-series/
I've read that series at FMH, it was very poignant and heartbreaking to read those stories. In fact, one of my own married daughters did not like the temple very much because of what was just changed, and it caused her some very real pain. So I absolutely get it. But here's why the changes are significant for my family.
I have married daughters, and unmarried daughters. I feel very fortunate that my sons in law are good dudes, and respect my daughters' abilities and see them as equal partners, not just as "mothers in Zion." Now, all of my kids are feminists, they grew up with me spouting this stuff, so they weren't going to marry Neanderthals, but I still feel very lucky. And frankly, my SIL's hold these attitudes IN SPITE OF, not because of, the Mormon patriarchy. And now, my unmarried daughters don't have to deal with this crap.
Despite my best efforts, my kids and Sis. M simply DO NOT wish to think critically about why these changes needed to be made, or to ponder what the significance is to an organization that claims temple ordinances from an ancient date, and how much gaslighting needs to be done to celebrate these changes. That's just my life. So if the church makes changes that makes my kids' lives less sh*tty, and justifies my SIL's to keep their enlightened attitudes, I'm all for it, and it's about damn time.
I'm hoping it leads to exchanges like last night, when my married daughter who disliked the temple before, and who has the most problem with my apostasy, told me that I just needed to wait and the church will change. That I didn't need to be angry, and that I don't need to be so forceful on why the church needs to change. I patiently explained to her that changes don't come in a vacuum, and clearly a lot of people were complaining, and making their views known, and that's why the church changed it. So in fact, this whole experience has galvanized me to be MORE proactive in stating what needs to be changed in the church. In the course of that conversation, she understood me a little better - and hopefully planted some seeds.
Given the fact that I'm still in the long game, this was a win for my family. But I'm also sorry for those who are triggered by this, and I feel for your pain, particularly to the women of the board who had to deal with these issues for years, and how it led to abuse in the lives of many of you. I'm so sorry for that. Boy, how simple would it be for someone, like a prophet or somebody, to come out and say "we made these changes because of the pain they caused, and we're so sorry about that." It's not rocket science.