Patriarchal Blessings?

[Rob4Hope]

OK...so anyone care to comment on outrageous PBs?

Had I "been faithful"....I would have been in the leading councils of the LDS church, would have spread the gospel throughout the world, and would have risen with glory and power in the 'morning' of the first resurrection.

Anyone slated to see Jesus return?

Anyone slated to raise the dead?

Anyone slated to be able to click your fingers and have your car's oil changed?

Thoughts?

[Corsair]

I was promised that I would be able to use my priesthood to cause the storms to "be calm". Seriously, I was some kind of master of weather. A few close family members who have read this passage in my Patriarchal Blessing have earnestly sought me out to pray for them when they are travelling in bad weather.

[Red Ryder]

Mine says the "women" I will marry.

The wife says it's a typo and should be "woman".

It also says I will never apostatize.

Oopsie!

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

I'm disappointed that all I got was the gift of discernment and all the usual stuff about having the blessings of Abraham Isaac and Jacob.

Look where that discernment got me!

ETA: if I had lived in the early 1900s I could have just paid a more popular patriarch for a better blessing.

[wtfluff]

I don't remember any fancy first resurrection, or Jesus stuff, I guess I'm going to to have to go find my mormon semi-cold psychic reading and see if I've forgotten those.

One funny statement is that I have the gift of reaching out to those who have "left the fold" and bringing them back. I guess I need to work on myself eh?

Patriarchal Blessings were a big deal in my family. There were times in my life when I treated it like "my own personal scripture" and I can say that hoping for parts of my PB blessing to "come true" is definitely part of me coming to the conclusion that mormonism can't live up to it's promises. I begged and pleaded with Elohim many times to give me parts and pieces of my own personal "blessings" or guide me somehow so those things could happen, and... Well, here I am.

[RubinHighlander]

Mine is very generalized and boring. I probably got the same one as FiveFingers.

[Hagoth]

Mine is very generalized and boring. I probably got the same one as FiveFingers.

Likewise. I was a bit disappointed that the patriarch got a couple of things wrong about my current situation and when I pointed them out he said, "ok, I'll fix those when I type it up." I wondered how he could say anything reliably prophetic when he couldn't get the simple facts straight. Years later I wondered if it might be possible to get a refresher blessing from someone more inspired.

[Rob4Hope]

I wonder what blessings end up being like for those who are in the LGBTQ community.

I've got 2 friends who have TG children. Very loved children, but they've both had such horrible struggles in their life. I also have a gay friend who is an ex-bishop, and was EXED as well. He tried everything he could, including the old "shock therapy" approach, and is still gay.

Wonder what his PB is like? I may ask him...

[Yobispo]

I got a 5-page bombshell. I was personally blessed under the hands of HF with priesthood power to heal. I was preordained to be a "holy disciple" which I read as "apostle" (who else is "holy", amiright?). I knew my wife in the pre-ex. My Heavenly Mother prays daily to the Father for me. I am to lead my siblings (we're all in our 40's now, BTW). I am to bless my home and heal people. I am to come to know Nephi and Moroni as real men.

Geez, I wonder if they knew that my mother would remember all this stuff when I left the church and that she would remind me of these things to keep me in? No, the church would never manipulate like that.

[slavereeno]

There was a kid in our ward who's blessing said he would die early to usher in the coming of the lard.

[RubinHighlander]

There was a kid in our ward who's blessing said he would die early to usher in the coming of the lard.

Mine says the "women" I will marry.
The wife says it's a typo and should be "woman".

Perhaps "lard" was a typo, like woman vs. women in Red's PB.

[MoPag]

I was promised that I would be able to use my priesthood to cause the storms to "be calm". Seriously, I was some kind of master of weather. A few close family members who have read this passage in my Patriarchal Blessing have earnestly sought me out to pray for them when they are travelling in bad weather.

WOW!!! Maybe you're an X-Men

My PB said I would have a loving sweet marriage. Whoops! It was a real mind-f@#$ though when I was TBM, because at the end there always that part about how all the blessings are predicated on your obedience. So when XH was just being his cheating, abusive self, I thought it was all my fault because I wasn't obedient enough.

[slavereeno]

My PB said I would have a loving sweet marriage. Whoops! It was a real mind-f@#$ though when I was TBM, because at the end there always that part about how all the blessings are predicated on your obedience. So when XH was just being his cheating, abusive self, I thought it was all my fault because I wasn't obedient enough.

That's horrible.

[moksha]

I never received a Patriarchal Blessing. Never got one before I left the Church as a teenager. When I rejoined years later, I was past the age where I would put any stock in fortune telling. Been there done that at the State Fair. My fortune had already been cast.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

I never received a Patriarchal Blessing. Never got one before I left the Church as a teenager. When I rejoined years later, I was past the age where I would put any stock in fortune telling. Been there done that at the State Fair. My fortune had already been cast.

Sounds like an opportunity for a great experience Moksha! You should do it.

[Rob4Hope]

I never received a Patriarchal Blessing. Never got one before I left the Church as a teenager. When I rejoined years later, I was past the age where I would put any stock in fortune telling. Been there done that at the State Fair. My fortune had already been cast.

Sounds like an opportunity for a great experience Moksha! You should do it.

Ditto. Do it Moksha. See what it says and "bring us word".