General Konference Predictions

[2bizE]

I had a frightful reminder that the priesthood session is coming up. I usually get roped into that.

[Hagoth]

Gee thanks all-powerful omnipotent Elohim for letting me know I shouldn't ingest stuff that's so hot it will burn my esophagus. There's no way I could have ever figured that out for myself! (And said burning would never happen with any other "hot" liquid besides coffee or tea...)

Just make sure you don't get it hot enough to kill germs. God didn't know about them in the 1830s

[moksha]

If this list is true, we are 30 years or less to becoming CoC.

As the CoC is now we may become, but first, let's concentrate our efforts in preventing the White Walkers ruling the April Conference. Hope Daenerys and the Unsullied are standing vigil outside the Conference Center. Watch your back Daenerys for the Zion's Iron Bank sailing our of Essos!

[2bizE]

I predict a lot of talk about how the Adversary wants us to think the world is ok and leads us off the narrow path and into researching things that are best left alone (reaction to Jana Reiss' research).

I would be surprised if we see any direct, correlatable response to the real issues.

Tea & Coffee: they will certainly not come out and say that the D&C revelation is wrong. They could fall back on my dad's answer, which was that it's not the content of the drink, but whether or not it's hot enough to cause tissue damage, but I highly doubt it. I think they'll treat it just like they did meat and non-wheat grains. They will talk less and less about tea and coffee as more and more members will start including it in their diet. It will be like caffeinated soda. It gradually went from forbidden to ambiguous to eventually a non-prophetic newsroom memo. Let's meet back here in a decade and see if I'm right.

What about the chance that RMN will say the WoW given by JS is complete. It was for that time. For out time, we need different wisdom. No alcohol, tobacco, and skittles. No bacon, but tea and coffee is ok.

[Kishkumen]

... No alcohol, ...

you lost me, I'm out

[Hagoth]

As the CoC is now we may become, but first, let's concentrate our efforts in preventing the White Walkers ruling the April Conference. Hope Daenerys and the Unsullied are standing vigil outside the Conference Center. Watch your back Daenerys for the Zion's Iron Bank sailing our of Essos!

Are garbage trucks dragonproof?

[nibbler]

With this whole name change thing being one of the top priorities of the church I fully expect them to say that everyone should go back to calling the MP the Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God.

Why?
1) Fits right in with the plan to make labels unnecessarily long and cumbersome.
2) We get to name drop Jesus a lot more than we currently do, which also fits nicely within the plan.

[1smartdodog]

I am OK with #1 but what would really work for me is for them to state we are living by the actual wording of the WofW, so we must drink beer. Mild drinks and all.

[deacon blues]

My TBM mother would love 1 as she loves the taste tea and coffee.

I would love 24 to be true, but can’t see how. Beyond celibacy and single life (which isn’t an option for me) I can’t see how you can include LGBTQI without a thus saith the Lord revelation. If one was to be released providing a doctrinal shift to allow same sex relationships and marriage...civil, not even Temple, I would return next week.

Can you imagine RMN making changes in #24?
“We owe an apology to our LGBT friends. The church officially was wrong. Every word that Dallin Hoax has said is false...”

I think both Nelson and Oaks have to be gone before this will happen. Remember Oaks was the president at BYU during the years of the awful aversion therapy and the threatening of gay students (approved by him, Kimball and Mark E. Peterson....and Monson was involved too).

From 1971 to 1980 BYU's president Dallin Oaks had Gerald J. Dye over the University Standards Office (renamed the Honor Code Office in 1991). Dye stated that during that decade part of the "set process" for homosexual BYU students referred to his office for "less serious" offenses was to require that they undergo some form of therapy to remain at BYU, and that in special cases this included "electroshock and vomiting aversion therapies."

In an independent BYU newspaper article two men describe their experience with the BYU Aversion therapy program during the early 1970s. After confessing to homosexual feelings they were referred to the BYU Counseling Center where the electroshock aversion therapy took place using pornographic pictures of males and females. Jon, one of the individuals, implied that the treatment was completely ineffective. The experiences match most reports which state that shock therapy was ineffective in changing sexual orientation.

From 1975 to 1976 Max Ford McBride, a student at BYU, conducted electroshock aversion therapy on 17 men (with 14 completing the treatment) using a male arousal measuring device placed around the penis and electrodes on the bicep. He published a dissertation on the use of electrical aversive techniques to treat ego-dystonic homosexuality. The thesis documents the use of "Electrical Aversion Therapy" on 14 homosexual men using a "phallometric" apparatus, "barely tolerable" shocks, and "nude male visual-cue stimuli." Although it is not publicly published whether all top LDS Church leaders were aware of the electroshock aversion therapy program, it is known that apostles Spencer Kimball, Mark Peterson, and now apostle Dallin Oaks were

I fear things will get worse under Oak's presidency, but I'm hopeful for a change and a revoking of the recent policy eventually.

WOW! Where are these quotes from? I don't think my wife would believe this.

[deacon blues]

I am concerned that President Nelson might bring back a version of his "God's love is NOT unconditional" talk. I think he would be wrong, but he might think god wants him to bring it up, now that he's in charge.

[MoPag]

Tea & Coffee: they will certainly not come out and say that the D&C revelation is wrong. They could fall back on my dad's answer, which was that it's not the content of the drink, but whether or not it's hot enough to cause tissue damage, but I highly doubt it. I think they'll treat it just like they did meat and non-wheat grains. They will talk less and less about tea and coffee as more and more members will start including it in their diet. It will be like caffeinated soda. It gradually went from forbidden to ambiguous to eventually a non-prophetic newsroom memo. Let's meet back here in a decade and see if I'm right.

Maybe they will say they are correcting an error. Like how Mormon had to be corrected to TCOJCOLDS. All the verse says is

9 And again, hot drinks are not for the body or belly.

They could say the original verse was interpreted to mean tea and coffee, but that was wrong. Maybe they will spin it like "hot drinks" are drinks you might get addicted to. And that is different for every person and culture. I dunno. I'm gonna feel really bad for all the Utah Starbucks baristas if WOW gets revoked. They are going to be flooded with clueless TBMs.

[MoPag]

My GC prediction is that they are going to rename the BOM. It will be called "Another testament of Jesus Christ." And we are always going to have to refer to it like that from now on.

And they are going to encourage us all to buy new scriptures. Here's the twist though, the new scriptures are going to have all the controversial "dark skin" stuff taken out. And maybe some new hetero-normative family positive Easter egg verses sprinkled in.

[Brent]

Putting it all on "women recieve Aaronic Priesthood" for the win.

[no1saint]

They are going to wank on relentlessly about the miracle of the Rome Temple....wank wank wank...apostolic succession...wank wank wank...keys and bla bla bla...the Pope is nice but we are the champions...wank wank wank...Vatican has never known so much Priesthood authority ever...wank wank wank and collective morgasm.

Vomit.

[moksha]

Envelope up to my forehead:

During the Saturday noontime break, KSL will have a presentation of the new Rome Temple Complex and the highlight of the historic meeting between President Russell Marion Nelson and Pope Francis. There is a possibility that Come, Come Ye Saints will be played in the background of this video presentation.

Probably will not announce:

1. Church purchasing a 10% share in Starbucks.
2. That climate change is happening and will get worse.
3. That Utah will lose its new Winter Olympics bid due to the legislature following the Church's advice on 4.8% beer.

[larecherche]

I'm sure that there will be a lot more talking about staying in the church and not worrying about church history. That's been a constant for years.

I wouldn't be surprised if something changed that made it a little bit easier to stay in the church. I couldn't say what, and I doubt that it will be one of the items on my wishlist.

Most of it will be boring, and will be delivered in the usual cadence.

I think I may just skip it and then read what people are saying about it.

[Random]

I predict that our resident penguin is a true prophet.

Envelope up to my forehead:

During the Saturday noontime break, KSL will have a presentation of the new Rome Temple Complex and the highlight of the historic meeting between President Russell Marion Nelson and Pope Francis. There is a possibility that Come, Come Ye Saints will be played in the background of this video presentation.

My other prediction is that I will not watch this time; instead I will be following threads here and possibly on an online group I'm part of.

[Unendowed]

An old rumor about changing the length of missions for boys to 18 months is starting to look like it could become a reality this conference. This is all second hand information but someone who works in the mission office said that all the new calls currently going out say something about the length of service will be announced at conference. There has been a rumor going around about changing the boys time from 2 years to 18 months, same as the girls. This would make sense as they are making the boys and girls mission requirements equal. As a father of a currently serving missionary, I'm all for it. Hopefully those currently serving would get a choice to come home at 18 months.

[jfro18]

An old rumor about changing the length of missions for boys to 18 months is starting to look like it could become a reality this conference. This is all second hand information but someone who works in the mission office said that all the new calls currently going out say something about the length of service will be announced at conference. There has been a rumor going around about changing the boys time from 2 years to 18 months, same as the girls. This would make sense as they are making the boys and girls mission requirements equal. As a father of a currently serving missionary, I'm all for it. Hopefully those currently serving would get a choice to come home at 18 months.

This is weird only because I've had two nephews get mission calls in the last 1-3 weeks (one last week, one about three weeks ago) and both were normal with normal lengths.

Maybe just to specific areas?

[MoPag]

An old rumor about changing the length of missions for boys to 18 months is starting to look like it could become a reality this conference. This is all second hand information but someone who works in the mission office said that all the new calls currently going out say something about the length of service will be announced at conference. There has been a rumor going around about changing the boys time from 2 years to 18 months, same as the girls. This would make sense as they are making the boys and girls mission requirements equal. As a father of a currently serving missionary, I'm all for it. Hopefully those currently serving would get a choice to come home at 18 months.

This is weird only because I've had two nephews get mission calls in the last 1-3 weeks (one last week, one about three weeks ago) and both were normal with normal lengths.

Maybe just to specific areas?

There have ben two calls in my ward. One sister, one elder, and they are both the normal lengths.