New Member Recruitment Procedure

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moksha
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

New Member Recruitment Procedure

Post by moksha » Mon Apr 01, 2019 11:33 pm

SALT LAKE CITY - Even The Church of Jesus Christ has released details of its revolutionary new member recruitment procedure.
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A new member receives Mormon truth stimulus via electrode attachments

This new procedure being conducted at the Intermountain Health Care Center in Murray, Utah will hopefully stem the tide of flat growth for the former Mormon Church. Dr. Egon H. Spengler, of the First Quorum of LDS Experimental Surgeons, hopes that the new trial of electrode implantations will result in an entirely new breed of converts who will remain active and impervious to the historical information now plaguing the current generation of LDS Millennials. Dr. Spengler adds, "So far the Brethren are very happy with our work. We aim to make them even happier with new converts who will stand to attention even before the Brethren enter a room".
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha
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slavereeno
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Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:30 am
Location: QC, AZ

Re: New Member Recruitment Procedure

Post by slavereeno » Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:20 am

:lol:
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Random
Posts: 1252
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:44 pm

Re: New Member Recruitment Procedure

Post by Random » Wed Apr 17, 2019 10:06 pm

Sheesh, Moksha! :lol:
There are 2 Gods. One who created us. The other you created. The God you made up is just like you-thrives on flattery-makes you live in fear.

Believe in the God who created us. And the God you created should be abolished.
PK
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Hagoth
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Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: New Member Recruitment Procedure

Post by Hagoth » Thu Apr 18, 2019 8:28 am

Is there any reason to think it would be more effective than the traditional method?


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“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."
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RubinHighlander
Posts: 1906
Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:20 am
Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: New Member Recruitment Procedure

Post by RubinHighlander » Thu Apr 18, 2019 9:34 am

Sticking me back in the machine be like...

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“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE
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