Next "Big Thing"

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Brent
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Next "Big Thing"

Post by Brent » Mon May 13, 2019 6:17 am

Drumroll....

The next big, mind bending, "oh my heck" change is:

Polyandry. Not the living kind, the dead kind. Think a moment--women ain't happy about a lot of things but short of ordaining women what can you do? Well, as Special Ops used to say: "Seal 'em all and let God sort 'em out"...or something like that. It's perfect! It changes everything and does nothing!

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Mon May 13, 2019 7:06 am

Interestingly before the whole sealing as a marriage thing was worked out and the priesthood concept was still in its infancy, Elders sealed up whole congregations unto eternal life. The CoC still uses universal sealing as a theological concept. No need for expensive buildings for spiritual extortion.

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Brent
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by Brent » Mon May 13, 2019 7:25 am

That is cool! More than ever i am becoming a fan of the term "brighamite church"...

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Corsair
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by Corsair » Mon May 13, 2019 9:12 am

Brent wrote:
Mon May 13, 2019 6:17 am
Polyandry. Not the living kind, the dead kind. Think a moment--women ain't happy about a lot of things but short of ordaining women what can you do? Well, as Special Ops used to say: "Seal 'em all and let God sort 'em out"...or something like that. It's perfect! It changes everything and does nothing!
What new take on polyandry do you foresee? In family history work for temple proxy sealings you can already seal a woman to every single husband she might have had during mortality. Will we now get to seal those spinster aunts to some posthumous and prominent priesthood holder?

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alas
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by alas » Mon May 13, 2019 12:47 pm

Corsair wrote:
Mon May 13, 2019 9:12 am
Brent wrote:
Mon May 13, 2019 6:17 am
Polyandry. Not the living kind, the dead kind. Think a moment--women ain't happy about a lot of things but short of ordaining women what can you do? Well, as Special Ops used to say: "Seal 'em all and let God sort 'em out"...or something like that. It's perfect! It changes everything and does nothing!
What new take on polyandry do you foresee? In family history work for temple proxy sealings you can already seal a woman to every single husband she might have had during mortality. Will we now get to seal those spinster aunts to some posthumous and prominent priesthood holder?
Actually, the woman doesn’t have to have been married to the man. All you need to get a couple sealed is to suspect that maybe the man is the father of your ancestor. I have two women on my grandmother’s line who were sealed to every Tom, Dick, or Harry in the town she lived in because no one knew who was really the father of our ancestor. She paid the father’s $200 fine for herself and the father rather than reveal his name. Which means he was probably a married man who was prominent in the community. But do they seal her to the married men? Nope, they guess it was this single guy who was in town at the time, or that single guy who lived in the area. But she never married, but is sealed to 27 different guys, or was back in the 80s when my grandmother was ranting about it. She might be sealed to 27 more by now. The other one the descendants did DNA and proved one guy was the father, but not before she was sealed to 16 different “possible” fathers. And yeah, he was married to someone else, but the mother named her kid after the father, so they had a good clue.

So, if the father was committing adultery, what is the point of sealing him. #1, he wasn’t worthy. #2, he was already married. Oh, yeah polygamy. And this woman was not only never married to the father of “ancestor who joined the church,” she married someone else, who the Mormon descendants refuse to seal her to, and she had children with him. But “ancestor who joined the church” hated his step father, and that should take precedence over who the woman actually married. :?

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Brent
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by Brent » Mon May 13, 2019 12:49 pm

For the living.

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A New Name
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by A New Name » Wed May 15, 2019 2:41 pm

Recently s female relative of mine remarried after a death of her husband. She had been sealed to her first husband, but wanted to be sealed to her current (living husband). Currently, the only way to do that is if she gets the sealing to her first husband cancelled. I think what Brent is saying is that with a "Big Change", she could be sealed to her current husband without breaking the sealing to her dead husband.

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RubinHighlander
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by RubinHighlander » Wed May 15, 2019 3:18 pm

A New Name wrote:
Wed May 15, 2019 2:41 pm
Recently s female relative of mine remarried after a death of her husband. She had been sealed to her first husband, but wanted to be sealed to her current (living husband). Currently, the only way to do that is if she gets the sealing to her first husband cancelled. I think what Brent is saying is that with a "Big Change", she could be sealed to her current husband without breaking the sealing to her dead husband.
I can see this as a reasonable change for TSCC. Further simplifies the current complex process and gives the gals more even footing. But it does take away the current pretend power local leaders think they wield in messing with member's eternal plans and wishes. Honestly, I think some of those guys get off on this whole power to "bind on earth and heaven" BS and making some members wait longer than others because they think they are in tune with the Lord's will and mind with their position as Bishop or SP. If the change happens and they give it to local leaders to decide, this power trip Fing with people will continue.

This happened with my DW and I as it was our 2nd marriage and they made us wait almost 4 years after our civil to get sealed, even though we had DW's cancellation within a year of requesting it. Because it was a stake I'd lived in for several years of my first marriage and honestly thing the local leaders didn't think my 2nd marriage would last and that I'd made a rash decision. Maybe they thought they were doing me a favor. Well here I am happily married for 15 years now so I'm giving all those guys a big middle finger! And here we are 4 years not attending, name off the books this year and our marriage has never been better.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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2bizE
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by 2bizE » Wed May 15, 2019 7:06 pm

I like where your mind is going. The church needs to come up with something big to keep the baby boomers and gen xers to stay strong.
~2bizE

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Not Buying It
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by Not Buying It » Thu May 16, 2019 5:19 am

To be fair, the Church can’t win with us - they don’t change stuff and we say they are cold and uncaring, they do change stuff and we point out it never should have been like it was in the first place.

If only it was what it claimed to be, it wouldn’t have that problem...
"The truth is elegantly simple. The lie needs complex apologia. 4 simple words: Joe made it up. It answers everything with the perfect simplicity of Occam's Razor. Every convoluted excuse withers." - Some guy on Reddit called disposazelph

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Brent
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Re: Next "Big Thing"

Post by Brent » Fri May 17, 2019 6:18 am

As society becomes more accepting of different folks the church has to decide which of those folks it needs the most. I had a History teacher say to me once, "Women are the vessels of culture" meaning that men will bend to women's wishes. Anecdotally more men join the church for women than women join for men. Is this a huge part of the missionary success story? No. However if females were to abandon the church it would falter and potentially fail. Even now it's my sister-in-laws who are pushing blessings, baptisms, ordinations and other cultural church milestones--husbands just so up and be the priesthood power, not the driving force.

Will women want to be members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Westboro Saints? I think not. The simple concessions will come first...no waiting between Civil Marriage and Sealing...Shorter Church...Less hours outside the building (ministering)...Temple Changes that Mean Nothing...and how about: Seal 'Em All and Let God Sort it Out which is already done with the dead?

Seal 'em all unleashes God's mighty omniscience to make sure everybody is with somebody they love and isn't chained to a vicious lying/cheating machine.

Quick, simple and makes no real change. OH and what a powerful, important revelation!

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