How do atheists find their car keys?

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2bizE
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How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by 2bizE » Sat Jul 06, 2019 9:41 am

Not a joke. Is it possible for anyone to find their keys without saying a prayer? Even a small thought of praying?
~2bizE

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nibbler
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by nibbler » Sat Jul 06, 2019 3:13 pm

In that scenario the keys find the atheist.
We see things not as they are, but as we are ourselves. - H.M. Tomlinson

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Snowdrop
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Snowdrop » Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:48 pm

The atheist realizes that they, not god, are responsible for their keys and proceed to mount a key rack by the door that they responsibly use.
I don't believe we were born to be sheep in a flock
To pantomime prayers with the hands of a clock
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moksha
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by moksha » Sun Jul 07, 2019 6:01 am

I like to retrace my steps, check all my pockets and countertops, and look for places where keys might be dropped.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
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Newme
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Newme » Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:11 am

2bizE wrote:
Sat Jul 06, 2019 9:41 am
Not a joke. Is it possible for anyone to find their keys without saying a prayer? Even a small thought of praying?
“All have faith but not all are conscious of having faith.”

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Just This Guy
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Just This Guy » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:47 am

Statistical Analysis.

What are the more likely places for them to be based on past history and the last time you had them. Start by looking at the most likely place and work you way down the list to least likely. Stop when you find them.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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Angel
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Angel » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:57 am

Snowdrop wrote:
Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:48 pm
The atheist realizes that they, not god, are responsible for their keys and proceed to mount a key rack by the door that they responsibly use.
I think I might "experiment on these words" and see if it works. Does it work? By their fruits ye shall know them... :lol:
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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alas
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by alas » Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:59 am

I keep my keys in my purse all hooked together in a huge glob and never lose them. So, one option is carry a purse. Now DH being a manly absent minded professor without the professor thing won’t carry any kind of bag. So, that leaves the other option of putting a key holder so DH has to walk past it. That has helped, but he is still constantly losing a key to something or other, the RV (2) the toy hauler locks (2) the ATVs (3), the car (beeper zapper) the truck (beeper zapper), the house, the other house, the mail box, the other mail box, the storage shed, the other storage shed, the tool shed. I admit being snowbirds with two small houses and toys complicates things. But he only keeps two or three keys on a ring, because he says it is too bulky to go in his pocket. But still all he has to do is put the keys back when he is done.

As far as God finding keys, I find them with no prayer at all more often than DH can find his own keys. I don’t know if he prays over lost keys or not.

So, how do atheists find keys. Same way as every body else, just without saying or thinking words to some sky daddy.

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Redcrown27
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Redcrown27 » Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:44 pm

It was these moments that had me decide that I was not truly agnostic or Atheist though I did have my moments have self identifying as such.

I had my moments of stress with my work. I would find myself praying at work. I would pray before work. It eases the tension.

Even if there was no god a prayer is a form of meditation that helps relax the mind and the body. a relaxed mind and body can find things that were lost. A relaxed mind and body is not stressed and can move on with the work day.

How much better it is to have a belief in a loving God that can aid the situation even further.

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Not Buying It
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Not Buying It » Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:36 am

That really is an amusing question. While I myself am not an atheist, I find it fascinating that there don’t appear to be higher rates of poor health, criminal behavior, death of family members, or ability to function in everyday life for atheists compared to those who are religious, as though all of their prayers don’t really make much difference for religious people. Some people act like they couldn’t make it through a day without their belief in God, when most atheists seem to make it through the day just fine. How do atheists find their car keys? The same way everybody else does, they just don’t attribute it to God like some religious people do.
"The truth is elegantly simple. The lie needs complex apologia. 4 simple words: Joe made it up. It answers everything with the perfect simplicity of Occam's Razor. Every convoluted excuse withers." - Some guy on Reddit called disposazelph

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Hagoth
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Hagoth » Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:34 am

Simple answer: Satan helps them find their keys to diminish the apparent power of God.
Not Buying It wrote:
Mon Jul 08, 2019 5:36 am
That really is an amusing question. While I myself am not an atheist, I find it fascinating that there don’t appear to be higher rates of poor health, criminal behavior, death of family members, or ability to function in everyday life for atheists compared to those who are religious, as though all of their prayers don’t really make much difference for religious people.
As an added bonus, atheists never get possessed by demons or haunted by ghosts.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Hagoth
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Hagoth » Mon Jul 08, 2019 7:44 am

Redcrown27 wrote:
Sun Jul 07, 2019 11:44 pm
It was these moments that had me decide that I was not truly agnostic or Atheist though I did have my moments have self identifying as such.

I had my moments of stress with my work. I would find myself praying at work. I would pray before work. It eases the tension.

Even if there was no god a prayer is a form of meditation that helps relax the mind and the body. a relaxed mind and body can find things that were lost. A relaxed mind and body is not stressed and can move on with the work day.

How much better it is to have a belief in a loving God that can aid the situation even further.
I have found this to be true for grateful meditation as well. For me, meditation has been a superior path and one that has brought me greater personal spirituality. Sometimes I even meditate in the form of a prayer with no expectations of who or what God is. I think the value of prayer is highly dependent on the kind of God you believe in. Some people feel horrendous anguish and fear when they pray, or a sense of begging God not to smite them or their loved ones. Mediation works better for me because it doesn't carry any baggage from my religious upbringing. And sometimes, mid-meditation, I will come to a sudden realization (revelation?) that I wasn't expecting, like where I left my keys.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Rob4Hope
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Rob4Hope » Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:32 am

How do atheists find their car keys?....

Gees,...let me think about that for a moment.

They could....<<drum roll>>.....look for them. Just like everyone else.

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1smartdodog
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by 1smartdodog » Mon Jul 08, 2019 11:00 am

I ride a bike


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Ho Lee Turtle
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Ho Lee Turtle » Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:59 am

Well, prayer or no prayer involved, the truth is that I always find my keys in the last spot I look in...and that’s a fact.

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Just This Guy
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Just This Guy » Wed Jul 10, 2019 6:35 am

Ho Lee Turtle wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:59 am
Well, prayer or no prayer involved, the truth is that I always find my keys in the last spot I look in...and that’s a fact.

Atheists will stop looking for their car keys once they find them.
Catholics will finish with an extra Hail Mary.
Protestants will say a prayer of gratitude, then rush out the door yelling that they are late.
Mormons will check a couple more places afterwards just to be sure they found the correct keys.
Jews will find their keys quickly, but will keep looking for an hour because of tradition.
Buddhists will question if the keys they found are real or not.
Baha'i will take the first key they see because one key is as good as another, right?
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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Hagoth
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Re: How do atheists find their car keys?

Post by Hagoth » Fri Jul 12, 2019 7:32 am

Hey, I just found these keys...
Image
...which one of you atheists do they belong to?
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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