COVID-19 and General Conference

[Random]

I was REALLY hoping that COVID-19 might temporarily put a stop to local meetings and get me out of this mess,

First thought, that is pretty much the entire planet worth of members minus Central/South America right? Second thought, please, PLEASE cancel all ward meetings!!

I think you got your wish. If it begins immediately, your prayers have been answered.

[Just This Guy]

What are the odds that they dub in "cough track" to make the empty conference center seem more realistic?

If I were a TBM watching this, I would at least want a laugh track of some sort. It would be REALLY weird and rather creepy to have them tell their jokes and have no audience reaction to it.

Of course, without the laugh track, maybe members would see just how lame and poor taste a lot of the humorous anecdotes are. It's interesting how much cognitive dissonance you can get by hearing a joke that you think should be funny but without the audience reinforcement, you are unsure how to take it.

[Just This Guy]

I was REALLY hoping that COVID-19 might temporarily put a stop to local meetings and get me out of this mess,

First thought, that is pretty much the entire planet worth of members minus Central/South America right? Second thought, please, PLEASE cancel all ward meetings!!

I think you got your wish. If it begins immediately, your prayers have been answered.

Hallelujah! That's it, miracles do happen. I'm callin' the missionaries to get re-babtized.

[wtfluff]

If I were a TBM watching this, I would at least want a laugh track of some sort. It would be REALLY weird and rather creepy to have them tell their jokes and have no audience reaction to it.

They'll probably mic up the "performers" and all the GA's and their families to get the laugh track.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they rehearse the "laugh script" for a while before conference begins, just to they can get it right.

[Hagoth]

If I were a TBM watching this, I would at least want a laugh track of some sort.

More likely a cough track like they did for Poleman.

[w2mz]

Thanks to Radio Free Mormon we know that RMN fancies spinning events to aggrandize himself (Africa attack) so my guess is that he will seize the opportunity to embellish his prophetic statement that this conference would be like none other to say that he DID know what was coming because the lard told him, but that he also was told to keep it quiet so as not to insight fear in the population. Prophetic dilemma solved, plus he reinforces his mantle in the minds of the sheep. Oh, and one of his minions will be sure to let everyone know that the surest way to defeat the corona virus is to continue sending money to the church.

What he should do is declare a year or tithing jubilee, and say tithing settlement is being ended immediately, that paying tithing is no longer required to go to the temple, and that after a year people should give money to the charity of their choice, or to the church if they want.

Edit to add: If Nelson really wants to get some positive PR with the world he could announce that the church is donating a few bucks to virus research, I mean if Bill and Melissa Gates can give 100 mil out of their own pocket, imagine what glowing praise Russ could heap upon himself if he shelled over the same amount or more. And it wouldn’t cost but fractions of pennies on the dollar. He needs to act fast to hasten the work!

[Not Buying It]

Thanks to Radio Free Mormon we know that RMN fancies spinning events to aggrandize himself (Africa attack) so my guess is that he will seize the opportunity to embellish his prophetic statement that this conference would be like none other to say that he DID know what was coming because the lard told him, but that he also was told to keep it quiet so as not to insight fear in the population. Prophetic dilemma solved, plus he reinforces his mantle in the minds of the sheep. Oh, and one of his minions will be sure to let everyone know that the surest way to defeat the corona virus is to continue sending money to the church.

What he should do is declare a year or tithing jubilee, and say tithing settlement is being ended immediately, that paying tithing is no longer required to go to the temple, and that after a year people should give money to the charity of their choice, or to the church if they want.

Edit to add: If Nelson really wants to get some positive PR with the world he could announce that the church is donating a few bucks to virus research, I mean if Bill and Melissa Gates can give 100 mil out of their own pocket, imagine what glowing praise Russ could heap upon himself if he shelled over the same amount or more. And it wouldn’t cost but fractions of pennies on the dollar. He needs to act fast to hasten the work!

I posted this picture I found on Reddit in a different thread, but I think it is worth repeating:

8geqpmbvz9m41.jpg (48.77 KiB) Viewed 9503 times

[græy]

I was REALLY hoping that COVID-19 might temporarily put a stop to local meetings and get me out of this mess,

First thought, that is pretty much the entire planet worth of members minus Central/South America right? Second thought, please, PLEASE cancel all ward meetings!!

I think you got your wish. If it begins immediately, your prayers have been answered.

Hooray for another monkey-paw wish come true! *happy dance*

[græy]

...he will seize the opportunity to embellish his prophetic statement that this conference would be like none other to say that he DID know what was coming because the lard told him, but that he also was told to keep it quiet so as not to insight fear in the population. Prophetic dilemma solved, plus he reinforces his mantle in the minds of the sheep. Oh, and one of his minions will be sure to let everyone know that the surest way to defeat the corona virus is to continue sending money to the church.

I hope not. I've already had that conversation with a number of TBMs. If Nelson knew this was going to happen, but didn't warn anyone in any meaningful way, then he is as culpable as Trump.

[Hagoth]

There are now 3 confirmed cases in Utah and it has been declared a "state of emergency."

Three people confirmed and now we're all gonna die.

Two of them were probably that couple who tested positive on a cruise, but never got sick. They were still quarantined until the blood tests came out negative. (Well, she went home, amid threats because people are crazy, but he was still quarantined last I heard.)

There are five now. One from a cruise, one who was visiting Washington state, one who brought it from Europe, and two Jazz players. No indication of communal infection within the state. Hopefully the lock down will limit it to that but it seems like, until there's a vaccine, there will always be the chance of it dribbling in from outside.

[wtfluff]

There are now 3 confirmed cases in Utah and it has been declared a "state of emergency."

Three people confirmed and now we're all gonna die.

Two of them were probably that couple who tested positive on a cruise, but never got sick. They were still quarantined until the blood tests came out negative. (Well, she went home, amid threats because people are crazy, but he was still quarantined last I heard.)

There are five now. One from a cruise, one who was visiting Washington state, one who brought it from Europe, and two Jazz players. No indication of communal infection within the state. Hopefully the lock down will limit it to that but it seems like, until there's a vaccine, there will always be the chance of it dribbling in from outside.

No indication of communal infection... Because next-to no-one is being tested, so there's that.

Two more cases just reported in Summit county, we're up to 7 confirmed cases within the shadow of LD$-Inc. so far. Wherefore art thy Magick healing powers Rusty?

[Red Ryder]

14 to 21 days from now it will be bad if numbers follow the same progression in Italy.

We can’t take this lightly. It’s going to get bad.

Anyone want to predict which Q15 gets infected first?

[Random]

Hallelujah! That's it, miracles do happen. I'm callin' the missionaries to get re-babtized.

You forget that the one asking for the miracle isn't exactly on the side of "let's get baptized." More on the side of "I want it to go away."

[Random]

If I were a TBM watching this, I would at least want a laugh track of some sort.

More likely a cough track like they did for Poleman.

I was also thinking that they'd do a cough track like they did for Poelman. Even though everyone knows there's no audience, so there'd be no need to deceive (like they did with Brother P's new version of his talk), it would be pretty empty and weird to have total silence. No cough track, no laugh track, no mics next to the people in the stands so that their coughs and laughs can be recorded.

[Hagoth]

No indication of communal infection... Because next-to no-one is being tested, so there's that.

Right. My financial planner just told me his doctor said he believes it's already spreading around the community, but without testing it's hard to say because most people have very mild symptoms. He says he's pretty sure his wife and several of his patients have already had it without serious consequences but he has no test to differentiate if from all of the other viral infections coming through his door (which typically don't get tested either). If that's true I guess we can expect another wave of panic when they do start testing at clinics and doctors offices.