Conference What Will The Prophet Say

[1smartdodog]

It seems with what is going on many members will be looking to what the prophet will say at conference.

In my 61 years I can not recall a time when some real prophetic advice is more needed. Can the leaders give the same kind of talks as in the past? Will that suffice?

If God really speaks to these men maybe it is time to step up.


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[Hagoth]

The simple truth that won't be said: "boy, I sure didn't see this coming!"

[Red Ryder]

I imagine we will see a large smile and hear a version of “I told you to take your vitamins!”

I wonder if a daily flintstone vitamin routine prevents the Coronavirus?

Seriously though, what could they say that will matter? Follow the Plan of Salvation and prepare for the second coming of Christ?

How does that matter today? I’ll bet they say stuff that dangles the afterlife carrot on front of us while they whip our ass from behind?

Then oaks will get up and condemn the world for accepting LGBTQ people and fighting against religious freedom.

In the end, we will be entertained and disappointed all at the same time.

[2bizE]

The tab choir will probably be singing from small classrooms in groups of 8 from a location far from RMN and his geriatric gang. He will praise them for their talents and for staying corona free, then will tell us of the revelation to develop home church. Each member of the Q15 and 70 will bear witness of RMN and how he is next to Joseph in prophetness. Oaks will troll on the LGBTQ and Ballard will tell us about family history. More brownnosing will continue until Dieter speaks. The camera will avoid panning the audience as it will be empty. Cameras will capture pre-conference shots of light coming through the trees in the sacred grove. RMN will deliver a speech on JS and his greatness. Will leave out parts on the magic rock, Polygamy, polyandry, being a sexual predator, etc. The choir and congregation will sing together Praise to the Man....

[nibbler]

I'm pretty cynical in this department. Probably something like:
Covenant path, covenant path, covenant path.
Home centered church, home centered church, home centered church.
Be obedient and you'll have no need to fear.
Wasn't Joseph Smith's first vision nifty?

And if I'm feeling extra snarky:
We told you about food storage, were you prepared? -Forgetting that leaders really haven't emphasized this in like a decade.

[Just This Guy]

Nibbler, you are forgetting the most important point of conference:

PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!

These trust funds are not going to fund themselves.

[Hagoth]

Seriously though, what could they say that will matter? Follow the Plan of Salvation and prepare for the second coming of Christ?

Boy, I hope they don't use this as an opportunity to cash in on peoples' fear and insecurity. This is a great opportunity to help a lot of good, faithful people gain some much needed hope. If they take the low road, and/or if they see it as an make it all about what is best for them (tithing, obedience, latter-day prophet...) I will be monumentally pissed.

[wtfluff]

And if I'm feeling extra snarky:
We told you about food storage, were you prepared? -Forgetting that leaders really haven't emphasized this in like a decade.

I was wondering what the odds would be that food storage would get mentioned; Just like you say nibbler: they haven't talked about food storage at the bi-annual convention for years. If you ask a believer, they will tell you that they still preach food storage, just not quite as loudly as in the past.

Nibbler, you are forgetting the most important point of conference:

PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!

These trust funds are not going to fund themselves.

Sadly, this is probably true.

[nibbler]

Nibbler, you are forgetting the most important point of conference:

PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!
PAY YOUR TITHING!

These trust funds are not going to fund themselves.

I'm going to wait until I think the economy is in recovery mode before I donate additional tithes. That way the church can get the most out of my money.

More serious note, I can't say I remember leaders dedicating multiple talks to tithing during general conference, but I've missed the last several conferences ...well I wouldn't say I missed them... but yeah, there's always at least one talk about tithing during conference. I wonder if that talk will take on a more apologetic tone this time. "This is why it's okay for us to hoard wealth at your expense." or a, "We don't need the money, but you need the blessings from paying tithing."

If they go down the, "Pay tithing before paying for food." path... ever again... then it would be best for everyone present that I'm not within earshot.

[Rob4Hope]

I believe they will fall back on old prophecies about the end of days, and from that will hide behind others who they can't "speak evil of", even though there were bigoted cult leaders.

There was a book published years ago named: "Prophets, Principles and National Survival". Its a doozer.

Anything you want to freak the begeebies out of you, that book has it...hell fire, Apocalypse, blood flowing in the gutters, etc.

[Red Ryder]

Maybe they could pull out the conference talks given around 1920 during the Spanish flu.

[dareka]

He'll probably try to retrofit his comments last conference that this would be a historic conference as being prophecy about the pandemic virus. More than misleading if he does. That would make him somewhat of a jerk for not being more specific.

I'm hoping to avoid the Saturday sessions entirely, and busy myself preparing a nice dinner during the Sunday morning session, followed by sleeping through as much of the afternoon session as possible.

I wonder if they'll still announce the intermediate hymn as choir and congregation. Will my wife insist on standing and singing along? I hope not.

[Mormon 8]

Wonder how the 'church' is doing with its stock portfolio since the market is down 35%? $124B X 35% is $43.4 billion widow mites... that's a boatload of money to take a hit with so far. I suspect we'll hear at least one talk on the importance of giving 10% of your income to a real estate corporation so that the windows of heaven open up and pour out blessings upon you so the 'church' can build its city in Florida for 500,000 people. Those at the top really have no shame when it comes to all this.

[Apologeticsislying]

It seems with what is going on many members will be looking to what the prophet will say at conference.

In my 61 years I can not recall a time when some real prophetic advice is more needed. Can the leaders give the same kind of talks as in the past? Will that suffice?

If God really speaks to these men maybe it is time to step up.


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They will say follow the health experts and this is what makes them prophets, because they know what to do.......

[Hagoth]

Wonder how the 'church' is doing with its stock portfolio since the market is down 35%?

Internally they're talking about what a bad business decision it would be to dip into this money for charitable use in a depressed market, even though they legally claim it as a charity. Better wait until hard times have passed so the membership will have a chance to donate more money, you know, build it up for some other undefined future rainy day, Maybe when Jesus comes. Or maybe they're just waiting for just the right thing to come along that looks like charity but will actually fulfill the needs of the larger charity of filling the coffers of the church.

[wtfluff]

Well... Since they are celebrating an "anniversary."

I'm sure they talk about Joe "having his sins forgiven," or Joe "seeing the lord," or Joe "seeing Elohim and Jehova," or... Yeah, I don't have all the different versions memorized, and neither do any of the old folks who will talk about Joe's made-up first vision. So, yeah, someone will talk aboot the 1838 version.

[Yobispo]

The simple truth that won't be said: "boy, I sure didn't see this coming!"

Just came to say - I love this place! Thanks Hagoth.

[moksha]

Wonder is any of them will bring up Ensign Peak Investments? I would think so because the $124 Billion, as well as the COVID-19 virus, will be the elephants in the room. Not even sure of the room, because it will not be broadcast from the Conference Center and the Choir will not be present.

As I understand it, only those speaking will be present. The rest will be encased in carbonite.

If addressed, the investment monies will be downplayed. Perhaps they will even ask for extra donations from the members due to the fall of the stock market. As for the COVID-19 virus, I imagine they will discuss having predicted it and how following the teachings of the prophet and paying a full and extra generous tithe will see us through to even more abundant health and prosperity.

[Hagoth]

Wonder is any of them will bring up Ensign Peak Investments? I would think so because the $124 Billion, as well as the COVID-19 virus.

Not in the same talk, because everyone can put two and two together and that equals rainy day.

[Exiled]

I like it: "In these troubled times, it's wonderful that we have the chance to pay a full tithe prior to buying our daily 32 roll package of toilet paper and ammo. Truly full tithe paying members will be blessed with unspeakable prosperity as Ensign Peak is replenished and made whole." What President Nelson should say.