Articles of Faith

[2bizE]

I didn’t realize there were multiple versions of the articles of faith.

One used to be “ We believe in the literal resurrection of the body, and that the dead in Christ will rise first, and that the rest of the dead live not again until the thousand years are expired”.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Article ... ay_Saints)

My favorite article of faith is #6, “We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive church, namely apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, lawyers, accountants, stock brokers, business executives, money launderers, property developers, real estate agents, and airline pilots.

[Hagoth]

...and apologists

[RubinHighlander]

We believe God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow but that he often changes his mind about social issues or that he can be convinced to change his mind to make his profits look like they are doing something to look less like assholes.

We believe in paying tithing to the first principals of the corporation but that the exact nature of how those payments are used should remain a mystery to the general membership who make those payments.

We believe that certain truths are not helpful in building faith and should therefore be obscured.

We believe all white heterosexual "men" are created mostly equal if they abide by the priesthood laws, ordinances and unspoken militaristic and tribalistic rules of the corporate charter.

We believe that Jesus will come to Earth again someday, soon...really soon, maybe in this generation, as long as it keeps the general membership in a state of fear and making their tithing payments.

Okay, got to stop now....this list could be very very long, but I do think if Rusty wanted to really leave his mark, he would stop wasting time changing logos and announcing temples and update the AOFs.

[FiveFingerMnemonic]

Yes there are several versions and iterations. The first principles and ordinances article of faith originated with Campbellite minister Walter Scott's "plan of salvation" and found its way to Smith's wentworth letter via fellow reformed baptist Parley P Pratt aka "The apostle Paul of Mormonism" who is perhaps the most prolific early author and tract writer and who would have theological jam sessions late into the night with JS.

[deacon blues]

...and apologists

The new, more relevant 6th article of Faith cracks me up.

[Reuben]

Reminds me of this old thread about unwritten articles of faith:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3352

[Hagoth]

We believe all white heterosexual "men" are created mostly equal if they abide by the priesthood laws, ordinances and unspoken militaristic and tribalistic rules of the corporate charter...

...but also unequal in the sense that some of these men are just better than the rest of us because they were especially valiant in some former existence that none of us can remember, but they just have this really strong feeling that they were really a big important deal deal, and that justifies their need to be adored and obeyed in the real, here and now world where we can serve them with time and money.