David and Joseph

[hmb]

Self-righteous condescension works both ways though. You think you have so much more to live up to. Fail fail fail. Glad THAT is gone.

But there is something to be said about feeling special and having the security that you are on the right path and that all of the big questions have been answered for you. I think that's what we all wanted. When that bubble bursts some people feel liberated and other feel lost. I don't fault anyone for wanting to stay in the big group hug. What all of us really want is to feel like we have it figured out and we are on the right side of the line.

That is the crux of the faith crisis for many of us, being willing to pony up to our own integrity: "I'm pretty sure this is BS, but am I willing to face up to the fact I was duped, admit I'm not special in the world, that there may be no meaning to this life and nobody has the answers." After being indoctrinated into a strong belief systems and world view, especially for 40+ years or more, that's a major meridian to cross, as most of you know! So yes, that is the place I find my empathy for TBMs, remembering where I was just a few years ago.

I think JS not only had amazing charisma, memorization and creativity skills, but his confidence/narcissism and his ability to assimilate so many other ideas and weave them into a tapestry of perceived uniqueness to make people feel special, that's the extra magic sauce Brigham was able to take and run with. Then isolate your people in the middle of nowhere and you can solidify your formula for generations (tribal us vs. them).

We just watched the Netflix series called Unorthodox. It was an eye opener into the world of how a special tribal narrative/formula can remain successful for so many generations. All their hairdos, songs, traditions, dances, scriptures, dietary restrictions, clothing...sound familiar? This formula works really well on our species.
https://www.netflix.com/title/81019069

All the above comments do make sense. For me it was a big relief to walk away from the pressure. I knew there was something wrong with me. I didn't have all the big feels, the sure knowledge, the answers to prayers that were on deaf ears, because not good enough... I know some family members that would be completely devastated by it. Probably better they remain.

I watch "Unorthodox." That was a really good program. The past events were mostly true, with an embellished present day story. The behind the scenes episode was as good as the series. I had no idea. It felt like mormonism on steroids (to a degree).