Seeking to understand Emma Smith

[moksha]

Do any of you have a good understanding of Emma Smith? I am trying to get a handle on understanding what made her tick. Was she really unaware of her husband's philanderings or did she harbor the understanding and consent of a spouse in an open marriage?

If she was unaware, was it due to an overwhelming naiveté or a concerted effort to keep her unaware of all the coveting going on? If she was aware, did she ever comment about his marriages/dangerous liaisons with the two fourteen-year-olds Helen Kimball and Nancy Winchester?

I dimly recall reading that she caught him compromising some of the women, but maybe that was a spot of bad mustard rather than an actual memory. Do any of you know if reports of finding her husband vigorously polygamating actually existed?

[Not Buying It]

You've been around a long time, Moksha, I am sure you have seen this quote before:

William Law on Emma Smith:
"But I met her sometimes on the street and then she used to complain, especially because of the girls whom Joseph kept in the house, devoting his attention to them. You have overrated her, she was dishonest."
and
"Well, I told you that she used to complain to me about Joseph’s escapades whenever she met me on the street. She spoke repeatedly about that pretended revelation. She said once: “The revelation says I must submit or be destroyed. Well, I guess I have to submit.” On another day she said: “Joe and I have settled our troubles on the basis of equal rights.” * * * Emma was a full accomplice of Joseph’s crimes. She was a large, coarse woman, as deep a woman as there was, always full of schemes and smooth as oil. They were worthy of each other, she was not a particle better than he."
The Law Interview THE DAILY TRIBUNE: SALT LAKE CITY, SUNDAY MORNING, JULY 31, 1887.

I trust William Law's assessment - granted, partly because it accords with my own pre-conceived biases, but consider Emma's behavior after Joseph Smith's death: she denied Joseph ever practiced polygamy when she knew darn well he did, she put her son forward as the leader of her RLDS Church, and she refused to follow the majority of the leadership of the organization her husband had founded to Utah. Clearly William Law was right that she was "dishonest", in that she denied Joseph practiced polygamy. Putting her son forward was a prophet does seem to indicate that she may have had "schemes". Not following the majority of the leadership of the LDS Church to Utah shows a distinct lack of concern for the organization her family had been so instrumental in establishing. These things indicate to me that William Law knew what he was talking about when he described Emma.

[Hagoth]

I dimly recall reading that she caught him comprising some of the women, but maybe that was a spot of bad mustard rather than an actual memory. Do any of you know if reports of finding her husband vigorously polygamating actually existed?

Claims of her knowing about his infidelities go back to his first polygamous "wife" in Kirtland where William McLellin claimed that Emma caught Joseph in the act of "celestializing" Fanny Alger in the barn.

On another day she said: “Joe and I have settled our troubles on the basis of equal rights.”

Part of Emma’s short-lived agreement to accept polygamy included a contractual agreement that she would be taken care of financially regardless of what happened to Joseph. Joseph’s personal secretary William Clayton recorded that only hours after Emma initially rejected the polygamy revelation, “Joseph told me to deed all the unencumbered lots to Emma and the children. He appears much troubled about Emma.” Three days later, Clayton recorded: “Made Deed for 1/2 Steam Boat Maid of Iowa from Joseph to Emma. Also a Deed to Emma for over 60 city lots.” That is what Law was talking about in the fall of 1843 when he quoted Emma as saying, “Joe and I have settled our troubles on the basis of equal rights.”

Only then, as I understand it, did Emma give Joseph her permission to marry the Partridge girls, unaware that he was already secretly married to them, and Emma was also finally permitted to get her own temple endowment. Of course, she was later famously quoted by her son that she was totally unaware of any polygamy at all.

[trophywife26.2]

I recommend reading Mormon Enigma https://www.amazon.com/Mormon-Enigma-Em ... 0252062914

It's very good. I think I remember it being fairly straight-forward and not overly biased.

I guess I have a more charitable impression of Emma.

Imagine being a woman in the 1800's. Joseph is said to be handsome and charming. How else did he win so many followers? He won Emma's heart before the gold plates, before polygamy. Even though he caused her great pains I think she really loved him. Not only is it hard to leave someone you love, imagine trying to leave a spouse in the 1800's when women are considered by many to be property. Another thing to consider is that Emma's parents opposed her marriage to Joseph. Leaving Joseph would require her to go back to her parents admitting she was wrong and they were right.

I believe she opposed polygamy all along, but felt trapped and had little to no power. I think she truly believed Joseph to be a prophet and that she really believed in the gold plates (BOM) but that she believed Joseph was manipulating his power/letting his power go to his head.

We want these things to be black and white. We want Emma to be a co-conspirator or we want her to be a victim. I think in many ways she was both. Highly recommend Mormon Enigma to anyone who wants to know more about her life.

[alas]

I recommend reading Mormon Enigma https://www.amazon.com/Mormon-Enigma-Em ... 0252062914

It's very good. I think I remember it being fairly straight-forward and not overly biased.

I guess I have a more charitable impression of Emma.

Imagine being a woman in the 1800's. Joseph is said to be handsome and charming. How else did he win so many followers? He won Emma's heart before the gold plates, before polygamy. Even though he caused her great pains I think she really loved him. Not only is it hard to leave someone you love, imagine trying to leave a spouse in the 1800's when women are considered by many to be property. Another thing to consider is that Emma's parents opposed her marriage to Joseph. Leaving Joseph would require her to go back to her parents admitting she was wrong and they were right.

I believe she opposed polygamy all along, but felt trapped and had little to no power. I think she truly believed Joseph to be a prophet and that she really believed in the gold plates (BOM) but that she believed Joseph was manipulating his power/letting his power go to his head.

We want these things to be black and white. We want Emma to be a co-conspirator or we want her to be a victim. I think in many ways she was both. Highly recommend Mormon Enigma to anyone who wants to know more about her life.

I agree with this. Only I am not sure that by the end she still loved Joseph. Sort of like many mistreated wives during the times, she had little choice but to remain with Joseph and appear to support him. There were times she seemed to believe he was a prophet, and other times she seemed to act more like she knew it was a scam but couldn't say so. As far as being a victim of Joseph, I think she was the person most victimized by him. She was the one most hurt by his unfaithfulness. Her "trade"with Joseph for the boat and land being in her name shows that she was trying to watch out for her and her children's economic survival knowing that Joseph was a cheat and fake and that in asking to "be married" to much younger women, she probably feared that eventually he would abandon her and her children in preference of a younger wife.

I think William Law's view of her is prejudiced by what he saw as Emma violating her morals in support of Joseph. William wanted her to side with himself, against Joseph and stand up publicly and say that Joseph was sleeping around. William wanted an alli in bringing Joseph down, and he felt betrayed that Emma sided with Joseph. So, he saw her as complicit in Joseph's illegal and immoral behavior instead of seeing her as the victim of Joseph's behavior. He wanted Emma to come clean and support him in his efforts to expose Joseph. But Emma knew she and her children would be abandoned by the Smith Family as well as the church if she did not appear to believe in Joseph. So, when Emma complained to William about Joseph's philandering, William wanted to scream at her to complain in public and say Joseph was a fallen prophet, but Emma couldn't/wouldn't, which angered William no end.

I don't blame her a bit for not accepting Brigham as a prophet. Brigham claimed ALL of Joseph's property as property of the church and attempted to leave her destitute. She recognized Brigham for the scum he was even if she had a hard time seeing that Joseph was a fraud.

So, I feel bad for Emma in the ambivalent way I feel bad for all women of philandering or abusive husbands. On one hand I do see her as a victim, on the other hand I want to shake her and tell her to grow up and leave the jerk. Sure, supporting children on your own is hard. Swallowing your pride and admitting you married a scumbag is hard. But so is living with a scumbag hard.

[well wandered]

And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.

I heard a story behind this reprimand in D&C 132 was that Emma was growing weary and discouraged by Joseph practicing polygamy- the ever-increasing number of wives, mounting political juggling that each new marriage would bring, the threats being a polygamous community was bringing, and becoming more and more being tucked away in the Nauvoo mansion. She wasn't really by his side in his parades and ceremonies in Nauvoo, and the more late meetings and layers of secrecy he added, the less she would know about what he was doing.

When she was made the 1st Relief Society president, I like to think it became more of a Frank and Claire Underwood type of marriage. The hopes of a romantic idealistic marriage with Joseph had to have been long shattered by that time.

It's odd, being one of Joseph's original scribes, to not have much in terms of glowing biographical accounts, like Oliver Cowdery and Parley Pratt did, or miraculous accounts having spent so much time around him.

I think she had the personality/good sense to not keep a record of the things that disappointed her, and unfortunately she didn't keep a record of much about him. That might have been her best way of being faithful.

President McKay said, "it's better to be trusted than to be loved." I think Joseph trusted and needed Emma more than any of his other wives, and that had to be worth something in terms of loyalty.

[Enoch Witty]

Emma Smith is one of the most interesting early personalities in the church. I go back and forth all the time in feeling like she is complicit or a victim.

The quote above about settling differences on the basis of equal rights? I was under the impression that she was referring to her ability to bang other dudes; William Law himself is asserted to be who she asked Joseph about. This is referenced in D&C 132:51–

51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to prove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.

My understanding is that the thing which Joseph was "commanded to offer unto her" was the ability to bang other dudes, but Joseph changed his mind by the time this was published. This is all from Fawn Brodie. Maybe the timeline isn't right for the equal rights quote above to apply, especially since that's attributed to Law himself, who is supposed to be her prospective paramour, but I figured I'd add this detail on this very interesting thread.

[RubinHighlander]

One of the first books I threw into the trash postmo:
https://deseretbook.com/p/love-letters- ... =32411-dvd

Yet, the COB still pushes the false narrative of the super awesome dedication Emma and Joseph had to each other, that somehow that transcended all the polygamy, polyandry and pedophilia:

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2008/09/my-d ... h?lang=eng

Still puts a pit in my stomach when I think about how much I had bought into that crap! The additional bitterness of it is that my DW gave it to me for Christmas one year and it was cherished for a time, only to find out later that it was garbage. Just leaves a really bad taste in my mind.