General Konference Predictions

[Not Buying It]

President Nelson has some change up his sleeve I am sure, a deck chair he can rearrange on the Titanic. Something to remind the members of how incredibly transformative he is. Yawn.

As has been mentioned, a couple of speakers will try and scare us with the Religious Freedom Bogeyman. Yikes, the libs are coming to take your religion away. Scary times people. Christians might not get to bend the rest of the nation to their homophobic Puritan will, and we can't have that. Luckily we have the most god-fearing Christian man ever for President fighting for religious freedom, or we'd all have been forced to be heathens by now (they won't talk about him of course though - condemning adulterous political leaders is something prophets only ever did in the scriptures. They invite them to Welfare Square and shake their hand these days).

There will be some lip service to racial equality. The Church will pretend it has always been the best friend of blacks. But at the same time there will be some oblique condemnation of protests, because the Church is as White Power as anybody.

There will be the usual condemnation of ex-Mormons and talk of how petty their reasons for leaving are without ever talking about what the reasons are.

And of course, they will stress the need to attend meetings to make members forget how much they enjoyed not attending them.

There will be some token female speakers, but there will be no question the men are in charge. President Uchtdorf will make old ladies swoon and say something that makes him seem warmer and fuzzier than he really is. President Eyring will cry, because he always cries, the big blubbering emotionally manipulative man-baby. President Oaks will say something homophobic just 'cause he's a jerk that way, and will probably be a jerk about something else while he is at it. Elder Bednar will do his best to be the most uptight speaker at this or any other General Conference ever. Elder Rasband will mug for the camera. Elder Cook will be the most unimpressive speaker there because that's the best he can do, bless his small little unimpressive heart. We might get lucky and see another Elder Holland tantrum, there is some entertainment value in watching him lose his cool, but it is more likely to just be ten hours of hellish boredom as usual.

Ten. Hours. Of. Hellish. Boredom. I don't plan to see so much as a single second.

[2bizE]

This year still marks the 200th year since Joseph claims he had a first vision, which he wrote down many years later....I don’t think the brethren are finished with the JS worship...I predict more JS praise this conference. It’s an easy way out of not providing any prophetic advice about the current pandemic.

[MoPag]

I'm hoping that President Mopag will have a few tricks up her sleeve for NOMference to make it a little more lively. Nelson set the bar pretty low the last conference, Mopag, as did the pulpit designers, so I'm thinking you can step over it.

I predict Mopag will preside over the best Nomference yet!

Thank guys! I have a few extras planned for this NOMference. So we will see how it goes.


I'm really wondering how Q15 are going to spin all the crazy stuff we are dealing with. I think they will ignore racism all together. Maybe they will try to skirt around the mask wearing issue. The thing is, I don't think it will work this time. I think TBMs on all sides of all issues are so fed up that if they don't get their issue addressed in the way they want, sh!t is gonna go down.

I think Oaks will allude to COVID being caused by the gays. Or he'll make Cook or Clayton do it.

I predict I will drink a lot of pink moscoto during women's session.

[Just This Guy]

My only question:

Will it be in the main auditorium, or will they be back in front of the salad bar like last go around?

[blazerb]

My only question:

Will it be in the main auditorium, or will they be back in front of the salad bar like last go around?

I wonder if Oaks will be able to hold a beat.

[no1saint]

My only question:

Will it be in the main auditorium, or will they be back in front of the salad bar like last go around?

lol - that was totally a hotel buffet set up.

[alas]

With tRump just diagnosed with Covid, I predict there will be a lot of prayers and reminders to pray for our president.

I admit that, as much as I despise the man, I am hoping for a speedy recovery, because I shudder to think of the chaos if he gets really sick.

But I plead guilty to thinking Karma is a b*tch, and laughing over a thing I saw on Facebook that said RBG successfully argued her first case before God.

[hmb]

Maybe they will surprise us with acknowledgement that the current leadership of the country is a danger to our democracy. And while they're at it, they will put in a black woman as a 70, and finally, they will go back to Earth being flat.