Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault

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Wonderment
Posts: 450
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:38 pm

Re: Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault

Post by Wonderment » Mon Apr 19, 2021 8:47 pm

Rob4Hope wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:00 pm
Wonderment wrote:
Sat Dec 12, 2020 8:50 pm
Talk to your parents or another trusted adult, and seek your bishop’s counsel immediately.
WTH?

They need to quickly talk to an ecclesiastical leader who has no training, and who historically represents a sexually oppressive church that espouses dangerous practices?

Two implicit messages are immediately presented to me here:
1. The bishop needs to make sure you didn't really just commit the act for fun, and that you were really raped?
2. The bishop, who could be a stranger or worse, a perp himself, is gunna counsel you about your rape?

OH MY GOD!!!!

Counseling with the bishop immediately is ill advised. How about talking to the police?

I do like the idea they should talk to a trusted adult. Perhaps the bishop is supposed to open the doorway to some physical and mental health services?
Yes-- completely agree with you, Rob. Just to be clear -- I did not say that, but was quoting the EFY book, so there should be quotes around that segment. I was pointing out that the Elizabeth Smart case had a slight impact on the brethren, when Elizabeth Smart spoke out on behalf of survivors of sexual violence. Yes, I agree that the victim should report immediately to the police. Sometimes victims are hesitant to do so, because they fear that they will not be believed.
I also agree that the BYU honor code office has a very troubled history of dealing with abuse survivors. -- Wndr.

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Rob4Hope
Posts: 1359
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:43 pm
Location: Salt Lake City -- the Motherland!!

Re: Trigger Warning: Surviving Sexual Assault

Post by Rob4Hope » Tue Apr 20, 2021 9:06 am

Wonderment wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 8:47 pm
Rob4Hope wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 3:00 pm
Wonderment wrote:
Sat Dec 12, 2020 8:50 pm
Talk to your parents or another trusted adult, and seek your bishop’s counsel immediately.
WTH?

They need to quickly talk to an ecclesiastical leader who has no training, and who historically represents a sexually oppressive church that espouses dangerous practices?

Two implicit messages are immediately presented to me here:
1. The bishop needs to make sure you didn't really just commit the act for fun, and that you were really raped?
2. The bishop, who could be a stranger or worse, a perp himself, is gunna counsel you about your rape?

OH MY GOD!!!!

Counseling with the bishop immediately is ill advised. How about talking to the police?

I do like the idea they should talk to a trusted adult. Perhaps the bishop is supposed to open the doorway to some physical and mental health services?
Yes-- completely agree with you, Rob. Just to be clear -- I did not say that, but was quoting the EFY book, so there should be quotes around that segment. I was pointing out that the Elizabeth Smart case had a slight impact on the brethren, when Elizabeth Smart spoke out on behalf of survivors of sexual violence. Yes, I agree that the victim should report immediately to the police. Sometimes victims are hesitant to do so, because they fear that they will not be believed.
I also agree that the BYU honor code office has a very troubled history of dealing with abuse survivors. -- Wndr.
Totally understood.

I knew some people who were close friends with ES as well, and there were so many hurtful things that were part of her recovery. :(

Some of this brings back memories of that damned book Miracle of Forgiveness. Also, some of the things said above in threads about not fighting to the death for your "virtue" are extremely troubling.

The church would probably be amazed to know the numbers of those who are doing it illicitly behind their back. After leaving the church myself and becoming more open/friendly with people, regardless of religion, I've come to learn there are a LOT of people who hide their sexuality from the church. They pay lip-service to the leadership and principles, but they choose to keep private things private. I don't fault them at this point at all. Living in the Mormon Corridor, there are social and sometimes financial benefits for appearing as a TBM.

Isn't it interesting that those who "confess" their sins are the ones who often get in trouble? I have a single friend who longs for companionship. For whatever reason, it hasn't happened. He had a friend, and well,...they spent some time together. Two consenting adults. There was no risk of pregnancy, no risk of STI, etc. But it certainly was a calming/soothing/relaxing event for my friend.

AND HE IS GOING TO HELL FOR IT------because it was the sin next to murder!!!!!

Yeh right.

I don't believe any of that crap at this point.

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