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God vs Satan

Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 7:22 pm
by 2bizE
I got up this morning, had a nice breakfast, then later went to in person sacrament meeting with some of my family. I had no idea it was fast Sunday. I had to high 5 myself for completely forgetting about fast Sunday. About 4-5 people bore testimony of how Satan has caused this Pandemic. I hate going to church because I spend the whole time arguing I’m my mind against everything being said. This was no different. I thought to myself, “Satan only has control over Porn, water, and apparently Masonic handshakes where he impersonates messengers from God, but the astute Mormon can detect this by not feeling the handshake....I think Satan must spend his day trolling for Mormon missionaries who may happen to step out into a body of water....”
It is God that is the God of plagues, genocide, mass murder of small children who’s parents didn’t paint their doorframe with blood, drowning of all people on Earth but 8.
What say ye? Who has created this pandemic?

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 7:27 pm
by alas
A strange life form we call viruses is responsible for creating this plague, along with several other plagues throughout history. But I would not call this life form God or Satan, but I do agree it is evil.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Sun May 02, 2021 8:12 pm
by Ghost
I remember either someone at NOM or someone in a podcast interview years ago suggesting that all of God's power is confined to stories. And I guess you could argue the same thing about Satan. I've thought about this idea a lot over the years since, and I guess I should have written down where I heard it so I could give credit if I ever shared it like this.

But yes, we learn from the scriptures that God is a lot more likely to directly cause catastrophes. Noah's flood, Jesus taking credit for the cities being destroyed in the Book of Mormon, and so on. There's the Sunday School suggestion that God simply allows Satan or nature to try humans, but in some cases that's quite a stretch. An exception would be the case of Job, of course, where God makes a bet with Satan and lets him run wild.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Mon May 03, 2021 2:52 am
by Reuben
Given that 10% of our DNA comes from viruses and some of it confers crucial benefits (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2 ... 151050.htm), I can't call the process itself good or evil. Like most things in nature, it is what it is. Covid is an artifact of the process that seems to do nothing but harm us.

It's even more complicated than some viruses harming us and some viruses helping us. Viruses and our very distant single-celled ancestors did genome-swapping dances that shaped them into critters that could replicate, cooperate, and join together to give rise to the shocking diversity of life we experience. It's wild and fascinating to me.

As supernatural explanations for these things go, I'm tempted to like the outlook of the author of Job. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. And maybe there's an epic drama playing out - which I think of as mechanistic but it doesn't have to be - that we're not privy to, and it's okay if we never are.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Tue May 04, 2021 6:04 am
by Hagoth
Reuben wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 2:52 am
Given that 10% of our DNA comes from viruses and some of it confers crucial benefits ...
You are a real troublemaker, Reuben. Now you're talking about evolution, so my Satan alarms are going off. Oh great, now there's smoke coming out of my ears.

But seriously, thank you. I knew about retroviruses but I had no idea they were that significant to human evolution, or that there were major beneficial consequences. Mind blown.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Tue May 04, 2021 10:19 am
by Red Ryder
Satan doesn’t exist.

As Ghost mentioned, he’s a figment of God’s imagination to bolster his story telling powers.

God is probably just a mild mannered, extremely boring accountant trying to reconcile his real life with his imagination. Thus he created an anti-Christ named Stan, who gets to lead people into temptation, so that boring accountant God (BAG) becomes the hero when he swoops in and kicks ass, leaving his followers all mystified at his greatness!

Then Stan comes back and perverts the gospel with small twists and dishonest turns. Leaving his followers belief misplaced. Suddenly the weak humans are skipping church on Sundays and worshipping:

A shopping bag
A hand bag
A beach bag

Stan then tempts humans to have premarital sex which leads to:

A diaper bag!
A duffle bag
A tote bag

Stan has then led you away from God, even once tempting Joseph Smith to pursue a different type of bag.

A Fanny pack!

Which morphs into a religious restoration creating another iteration where followers of Joseph Smith worship:

A garment bag!

Which leads to the death of the Prophet Joseph Smith and 200 years later Stan has all the Mormons worshipping :

A douche bag!

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Wed May 05, 2021 5:41 am
by hmb
God is Jekyll, while Satan is Hyde.

j and h.png
j and h.png (205.44 KiB) Viewed 4337 times
Not sure how the Holy Ghost fits.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Wed May 05, 2021 8:28 pm
by Hagoth
It would be so much harder for religions to get peoples' money without the threat of a boogeyman.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Thu May 06, 2021 12:32 am
by moksha
hmb wrote:
Wed May 05, 2021 5:41 am
Not sure how the Holy Ghost fits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1XK0dtfl4g

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 5:17 am
by hmb
moksha wrote:
Thu May 06, 2021 12:32 am
hmb wrote:
Wed May 05, 2021 5:41 am
Not sure how the Holy Ghost fits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1XK0dtfl4g
Haha. Made me think of...
peanuts-halloween-costumes.png
peanuts-halloween-costumes.png (242.04 KiB) Viewed 4267 times

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Fri May 07, 2021 7:22 pm
by moksha
alas wrote:
Sun May 02, 2021 7:27 pm
A strange life form we call viruses is responsible for creating this plague, along with several other plagues throughout history.
Thank you for immediately snapping us back to reality. If there were a Satan, he would probably suggest ingesting bleach to cure what ails us.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Sat May 08, 2021 6:30 pm
by alas
moksha wrote:
Fri May 07, 2021 7:22 pm
alas wrote:
Sun May 02, 2021 7:27 pm
A strange life form we call viruses is responsible for creating this plague, along with several other plagues throughout history.
Thank you for immediately snapping us back to reality. If there were a Satan, he would probably suggest ingesting bleach to cure what ails us.
OMG, Satan does exist. I remember quite vividly that someone DID suggest this, so, solid proof that he exists. And rather than being red as normally pictured, with a pitchfork and horns and tail, he is orange with a fat belly and funny hair.

Re: God vs Satan

Posted: Sat May 08, 2021 6:43 pm
by 2bizE
alas wrote:
Sat May 08, 2021 6:30 pm
moksha wrote:
Fri May 07, 2021 7:22 pm
alas wrote:
Sun May 02, 2021 7:27 pm
A strange life form we call viruses is responsible for creating this plague, along with several other plagues throughout history.
Thank you for immediately snapping us back to reality. If there were a Satan, he would probably suggest ingesting bleach to cure what ails us.
OMG, Satan does exist. I remember quite vividly that someone DID suggest this, so, solid proof that he exists. And rather than being red as normally pictured, with a pitchfork and horns and tail, he is orange with a fat belly and funny hair.
Donald Trump?