Handbook of Irony

Discussions toward a better understanding of LDS doctrine, history, and culture. Discussion of Christianity, religion, and faith in general is welcome.
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RubinHighlander
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Handbook of Irony

Post by RubinHighlander » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:11 am

https://www.thechurchnews.com/members/2 ... ice-200277
Latter-day Saints are discouraged from seeking miraculous or supernatural healing from an individual or group that claims to have special methods for accessing healing power outside of prayer and properly performed priesthood blessings. These practices are often referred to as ‘energy healing.’ Other names are also used. Such promises for healing are often given in exchange for money.
Drink our snake oil but ignore all others.
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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nibbler
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by nibbler » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:24 am

Uh oh, Hiram Page is saying he's getting revelations from a rock.

I feel another revelation coming on.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
– Anais Nin

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RubinHighlander
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Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by RubinHighlander » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:26 am

nibbler wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:24 am
Uh oh, Hiram Page is saying he's getting revelations from a rock.

I feel another revelation coming on.
Or how about: "Crap, Ema wants another husband because I want all these other women, I feel another revelation coming on."
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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Spicy McHaggis
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by Spicy McHaggis » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:55 am

properly performed priesthood blessings
With salad dressing, but only if it's pure.
Last edited by Spicy McHaggis on Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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græy
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by græy » Mon Jul 19, 2021 12:07 pm

There is also good old section 38.8.40

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/stu ... _number226
Seeking Information from Reliable Sources

In today’s world, information is easy to access and share. This can be a great blessing for those seeking to be educated and informed. However, many sources of information are unreliable...

Members of the Church should seek out and share only credible, reliable, and factual sources of information. They should avoid sources that are speculative or founded on rumor.
That directive alone would eliminate the vast majority of information on lds.org. :lol:
Well, I'm better than dirt! Ah, well... most kinds of dirt; not that fancy store-bought dirt; that stuff is loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff. -Moe Sizlack

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moksha
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by moksha » Mon Jul 19, 2021 10:48 pm

Spicy McHaggis wrote:
Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:55 am
properly performed priesthood blessings
With salad dressing, but only if it's pure.
And made from only the finest seer stones.
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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glass shelf
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by glass shelf » Tue Jul 20, 2021 3:17 am

It's all so obvious once you get off the boat.

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Red Ryder
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Jul 20, 2021 2:02 pm

Probably not handbook irony but here’s some more:

Jesus drank wine as sacrament. Mormons drink water.

Jesus didn’t wear garments. Mormons worship theirs!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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2bizE
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Re: Handbook of Irony

Post by 2bizE » Tue Jul 20, 2021 9:20 pm

Quick Brigham…lay your coffin cane across the lads body and heal his wounds….
~2bizE

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