NOM

No one will do your temple work.

Nevermind, that's no guarantee. Several years ago we discovered that my wife's grandfather had been baptized 9 times vicariously in four different temples... plus, oh that time he was baptized when he was 8 years old. He'd been a faithful Mormon his entire life and was buried in his garmies, but that didn't keep diligent, well meaning very distant relatives from making sure he got his work done, cuz good lord, he's just waiting for it.

I've wondered (not seriously) if we needed to multiple baptize our dead ancestors because you know they have their free agency and what if they accept the gospel then decide it's bogus and cross their name off the Mormon list then another relative dies and becomes a better spirit prison missionary who re-convinces great granny to join up, so she needs yet another proxy to get dunked again.

So just IN CASE my great grandmother wanted multiple opportunities to join the Mormon ranks, my daughter then 4 other well-meaning folks got it done. Granny was pretty headstrong and didn't take much crap, so maybe it took 4 vicarious dunks to equal one spirit prison conversion. Who am I to say?

But I'm pretty sure I nearly derailed my own thread with one post.

Another reason not to resign: you stay on someone's ministering list and get to contribute to their monthly guilt when they don't visit you, and you give the local missionaries someone to visit when they can't find anyone who wants to hear them teach a lesson.

Reason not to resign: Infuriate those people who think/say "you should just leave" when you interrupt in Sunday school/priesthood/Relief Society again when a "Well, actually..."

The thought of missionary work going on in spirit prison is an interesting one. That implies that it's not an obvious choice upon learning that there's an afterlife after death and having a clear picture of how things stand in the universe. It seems you still have to be convinced of something, or you're still intentionally kept in the dark to some degree.

I can't see myself resigning. I was thinking the other day about whether, when I eventually move somewhere else, I'll check in on the local ward. Right now I have residual church friends from when I was active but I'm not sure you can opt in to only the community part in a new place.

One reason not to resign:

All you have to do if you choose to come back is to walk in the door, explain you were inactive for years, then simply enjoy the attention of the prodigal son who has seen the light and is back.

No rebaptism. No repentance process. No explanation needed. Simply you’re choosing to participate again.

Now personally, I’ve always said I would never resign. I’ve 100% changed my mind. I don’t want my name associated with an institutionally dishonest organization that hides and protects their sex abusing members. An organization that hides and obfuscates their financial dealings financed by struggling members who need to lay into the system to be deemed worthy. An organization that is patriarchal, racist, and down right toxic for the mental health of humankind.

I’m ready to resign.

Reason not to resign: If elderly parents find out, it will likely kill them.

I mean... I don't necessarily want to hang out with them a lot, but I don't want to kill them either. (Wait... Did I type that out-loud? )

Don't want your friends and relatives to miss out on the funeral potatoes in the Cultural Hall following your funeral. Maybe Hagoth will attend my funeral and get a really inspirational missionary talk in lieu of a eulogy.

My reason is that it would hurt my believing husband. It doesn’t cost me anything, well not much more than embarrassment at being still on the records of a church that has RR’s reasons for wanting to resign. And it gives DH the assurance that we are still sealed.

It seems pointless to resign, at least to me. Those of us who have been close to someone who resigned have more likely than not found that resigning did not bring their Mormon thoughts or feelings to an end. Sorry.

This, I've found, is especially true if the person who resigns was once a member who really believed and tried to make a contribution.

Most of us have gone through or are going through the "bitter season", the time after the shelf comes a tumbling down, but time passes and it is better to just let things be, just let yourself slide away and not worry about what happens in Mormonism, or whatever the hell they wish to have you call it these days. Who knows, when old Nelson kicks the bucket another geezer will think Mormon, or for crying out loud, LDS is not something that offends God. Good grief.

moksha wrote: ↑

Fri May 19, 2023 4:26 pm

Maybe Hagoth will attend my funeral and get a really inspirational missionary talk in lieu of a eulogy.

I'm going to tell them about the amazing secret Batman-like life you lived after everyone went to bed. It will be epic!

Reason not to resign: If I'm not good enough for them, they are going to have to kick me out. Otherwise, they have to accept me for what I am.

There is always the idea of “changing the church from the inside” that seems to be a reason to stay.

2bizE wrote: ↑

Wed May 24, 2023 4:31 pm

There is always the idea of “changing the church from the inside” that seems to be a reason to stay.

Bishop Graeys do happen on an occasional basis.

For years I had the idea I'd lift where I stood and try to make the church better in at least my little corner of the lovely Deseret. I'd participate in my own way on my own terms, but really push towards more openness and tolerance, and individual revelation and thinking outside the box.

I care about my neighbors and I have friends in church. I like them. I don't want to dissuade them from their beliefs. But I sometimes feel that trying to move the needle even slightly may be more trouble than it's worth. I'll be me. I'm still a good guy, a nice person. I'll share my thoughts if someone asks, but otherwise I'm quiet, which is really difficult amidst loads of bullshit. So it's better that I'm not in the Sunday schools and the priesthood quorum mtgs.

So, why NOT resign?

My wife wants to stay affiliated and finds joy in attending a bit more than half the time.

Staying doesn't require any paperwork.

Staying doesn't make anyone sad that I left.

If it ever comes to the point where one of my kids is sad that I'm still a member, I'll probably not be. They're all still members but none really believe, which is nice. Well, it's sometimes hard for my wife even though she understands and doesn't really believe either. It's just a different life than she expected.