What if everyone started changing their name?

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Ho Lee Turtle
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What if everyone started changing their name?

Post by Ho Lee Turtle » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:56 pm

NASCAR Announces Name Change

CHARLOTTE, NC – America’s racing fans learned Thursday that NASCAR will be “no more” from NASCAR president Bill France Jr., when he announced that going forward the organization would only be using its official name, even the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing. France told fans he felt “inspired” to make the change after giving it much thought and consideration as the organization has seen decreasing revenues and a shrinking fan base over the last few seasons.

“The term NASCAR has a negative connotation to outsiders,” France said. “It causes people to imagine drunken, shirtless people with extreme dental conditions and that’s just not accurate.” We must abandon the term and embrace the real name established as when the sport began humbly in 1947 in the rural southern United States. France asked that the media begin using the correct name in all press releases, race coverage on tv and radio, and that a detailed guide for using the name could be found on their website at ww.nascar.com.

While other sports organizations may embrace their nicknames, like the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, and others, NASCAR hopes to set itself apart as the one true sports entertainment organization in the world. The National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing is a multi-billion dollar company with venues in multiple states and two foreign countries. The cost to rebrand all tracks has yet to be determined, but will run in the millions. As a private, family owned business, NASCAR does not share its finances publicly.

Many fans immediately began buying new full graphic tee-shirts and hats to proudly show their continued support for the organized racing giant, but other fans were less enthusiastic. Scott J., from Talledega, AL said, “This is just big business trying to get fans to spend even more money to buy new gear and I’m not going to do it anymore.”

Hard core National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing fans agree that it will now be easier than ever to invite non-fan friends to attend a National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing event on weekends than it used to be. “I can’t believe I used to just say ‘wanna go to a NASCAR race on Sunday?’” said Jenny Q. of Daytona, FL. “It’s just feels so much better to say ‘will you join me in attending a National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing event next Sunday at two o’clock?’”

* This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any real events, persons, or places is coincidental.

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Just This Guy
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Re: What if everyone started changing their name?

Post by Just This Guy » Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:27 am

Sounds like something straight out of The Onion. That says a lot about the inspiration.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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Corsair
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Re: What if everyone started changing their name?

Post by Corsair » Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:28 am

Is it a "major victory" to Formula 1 if we continue to use the term "NASCAR"?

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nibbler
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Re: What if everyone started changing their name?

Post by nibbler » Mon Oct 15, 2018 7:31 am

Ho Lee Turtle wrote:
Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:56 pm
“The term NASCAR has a negative connotation to outsiders,” France said. “It causes people to imagine drunken, shirtless people with extreme dental conditions and that’s just not accurate.”
Showing up to a NASCAR event:
Image

Showing up the next week to a National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing event:
Image
We see things not as they are, but as we are ourselves. - H.M. Tomlinson

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