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Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:37 pm
by wtfluff
A New Name wrote:
Fri Sep 04, 2020 1:07 pm
RubinHighlander wrote:
Thu May 09, 2019 7:12 am
How about a game of "Hide the Salami" in the scriptures?

God sitting upon his throne?

boa-fac2-nophallus.png

boa-fac2-phallus.png

The original erect penis was removed in past editions of the Pearl of Great Price, and put back in the 1981 Triple Combo.

That's pretty mythical.
Nope, the penis was always there, it just went limp. Then in 1981 Viagra "popped" on the scene!
There is a certain podcaster who likes to say: "Show me where the priesthood has been able to restore an amputated limb."

I told him he just needs to look at the history of Facsimile 2 in the BOA: COJCOLd$-Inc.™ amputated Min's "priesthood" and then restored it; Tah-dah!

Back to church everyone!

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Thu Sep 10, 2020 12:05 pm
by RubinHighlander
wtfluff wrote:
Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:37 pm
A New Name wrote:
Fri Sep 04, 2020 1:07 pm
RubinHighlander wrote:
Thu May 09, 2019 7:12 am
How about a game of "Hide the Salami" in the scriptures?

God sitting upon his throne?

boa-fac2-nophallus.png

boa-fac2-phallus.png

The original erect penis was removed in past editions of the Pearl of Great Price, and put back in the 1981 Triple Combo.

That's pretty mythical.
Nope, the penis was always there, it just went limp. Then in 1981 Viagra "popped" on the scene!
There is a certain podcaster who likes to say: "Show me where the priesthood has been able to restore an amputated limb."

I told him he just needs to look at the history of Facsimile 2 in the BOA: COJCOLd$-Inc.™ amputated Min's "priesthood" and then restored it; Tah-dah!

Back to church everyone!
Snip snap!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hshkdneE8o

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Wed Nov 04, 2020 3:40 am
by moksha
Special to NOM

Too bad LDS people got swept up in a silly diet code in order to be extra pious. A Church-wide Office of Silly Walks could have provided a good exercise regimen for members and definitely raised the visibility of members and missionaries as they traveled around the world preaching the gospel. Tea and vodka prohibitions may have been barriers in England, Asia, and Russia, but all potential converts could all have embraced silly walks. A company like Toyota may have used that for their 10 minute morning exercise regimen. The BYU ballroom dance team could have won awards featuring the Mormon Double Upper-Bumper.

Just keep that in mind as you consider Word of Wisdom requirements.

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2021 8:00 am
by moksha
New Moroni Replacement

Image

I know a Senator named Bernie Moroni
He is shivering just like macaroni

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2021 9:30 am
by hmb
moksha wrote:
Sat Jan 23, 2021 8:00 am

I know a Senator named Bernie Moroni
He is shivering just like macaroni
:lol: :lol: I was waiting for it!!

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2021 8:07 am
by Hagoth
I had to give it a shot.
Noah&Bernie.jpg
Noah&Bernie.jpg (92.77 KiB) Viewed 3374 times

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2021 8:07 am
by Hagoth
Bernie&Joseph01.jpg
Bernie&Joseph01.jpg (52.07 KiB) Viewed 3373 times

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2021 8:11 am
by Hagoth
I didn't do this one.

Image

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2021 1:27 pm
by wtfluff
Yes!

Bernie, with his most-excellent mittens is definitely the hero that 'Murica needs right now.

Or maybe he's just the hero that Fluffy needs right now. I don't remember the when I last spent so much time giggling aboot Internet Meme's. A good omen? Definitely better than the other omens earlier in January.

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2021 6:11 am
by moksha
Image

We're all as happy now as we can be,
Shulem and Anubis underneath the apple tree.

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2021 6:58 pm
by moksha
Image

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2021 12:18 am
by moksha
The earliest known record of the Word of Wisdom:
Dear Joseph,

If your guys miss the spittoon one more time while speculating around the cracker barrel, then you clean it up. Same goes for those empty whiskey bottles.

Sincerely, your Wife,
Emma

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:52 am
by moksha
An unusual part of Utah/LDS history was the Great Beard Eradication. All LDS prophets since Joseph Smith had beards, but in 1953, President David O. McKay implemented a Church-wide policy to get Mormon men to look more like their American counterparts. Men were apprehended on the street and told in no uncertain terms that if they wanted to go to the Celestial Kingdom they needed to shave. In Utah County, men with beards were publicly shaved by local police. Soon, the only men left with beards were elderly gentiles and beatniks who were harassed by members of their local wards.

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2021 2:46 pm
by Red Ryder
moksha wrote:
Wed Jul 28, 2021 12:52 am
An unusual part of Utah/LDS history was the Great Beard Eradication. All LDS prophets since Joseph Smith had beards, but in 1953, President David O. McKay implemented a Church-wide policy to get Mormon men to look more like their American counterparts. Men were apprehended on the street and told in no uncertain terms that if they wanted to go to the Celestial Kingdom they needed to shave. In Utah County, men with beards were publicly shaved by local police. Soon, the only men left with beards were elderly gentiles and beatniks who were harassed by members of their local wards.
Until the great Covidean plague of 2019 when men everywhere crawled out of bed and slipped into their at home work stations and shaving became a thing of the past like girdles and goat cheese.

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Fri Aug 13, 2021 12:06 pm
by moksha
History Question
ajax18 wrote:
Fri Aug 13, 2021 10:53 am
So why should a private baker be forced to make a gay wedding cake in Utah?
Originally in Utah, there was some consternation in placing a groom figurine with a single bride figurine on a wedding cake, but people got used to it. After all, they were being paid for the cake and not the extra bride figurines. Eventually, they even discontinued the Wedding Patriarch who would whoop, holler, and make astounding predictions which he would later scribe onto a scroll as a patriarchal memento and to collect his fee. If there was bluegrass music following the service he would even throw in some foot-stompin' jigs and do-si-do dancing free of charge, provided the groom handed him a pint of moonshine (or Saspirilla if the bishop was looking).

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2021 8:58 pm
by moksha
Image

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2021 1:55 am
by moksha
Here is a nighttime aerial view of Hell as seen through the eyes of Utah County:

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Here is Hell's view of Utah County:

Image

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2021 1:00 am
by moksha
If only Professor Tolkien had declared The Shire to be the one true tourist destination, there would have been a slew of clever defenders finding minutia throughout the arts, sciences, and philosophies of the past to back this claim. The one drawback would be if someone asked to see a single sherd of Hobbit pottery before paying for their vacation package.

Re: Creative Mormon Mythology

Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2022 4:56 pm
by moksha
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