My Mushroom Journey

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stealthbishop
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My Mushroom Journey

Post by stealthbishop » Fri Oct 21, 2022 8:40 am

Hagoth, I can't thank you enough Brother. This is dedicated to you! Words are so inadequate but here goes:

In June I began to hear more on the NOM board and from some other people about the power of psychedelics. I began to hear stories about how they could help and heal. I did a lot of research including reading the book ‘How To Change Your Mind’. I began to believe that these plant medicines could help to heal me. But I didn’t know how to get them. Eventually I got a hold of some psilocybin from a friend and yesterday I took it. I took 3g at 1:04PM. I wrote in a journal my intentions: “To heal. Let go of the past. Forgive. Peace. Healing. Reset my brain and heal. Acceptance of self.” I was nervous about taking the medicine but I had done all I could to have the best SET and SETTING possible. I had done extensive research over the past four months.

I did a mindfulness practice with DW before I took the medicine and I had headphones with soothing and healing music and nature sounds on and a sleep mask while I layed on a couch in our living room. It took about ½ hour to an hour before I started feeling different. The music seemed to make shapes and I was sort of being carried away by the music and sounds and becoming one with them. DW was my sitter and she came to check on me and I told her I was feeling different. She was kind and supportive. As she left, I felt like I didn’t want her to leave. I wanted her to check on me more. I was sort of paralyzed or in slow motion for a while and I then decided to take off the mask and headphones and go see her and I was really grateful that I did.

DW was absolutely phenomenal. She was so kind and patient. She was so soothing. I was concerned at first because when I first told her about psychedelics and using them she was very skeptical as she usually is and didn't think she could be a sitter for me. She was very resitant at first. But over four months she got used to the idea and she is a huge part of the set and setting that made this such an absolutely amazing experience. I can't thank her enough for being my sitter.

She took me outside and wanted to show me the grasses on the side of our house. The colors were so incredibly vibrant. The greens were as vivid and shiny as emeralds. I said it was like the emerald city in the Wizard of Oz or the MGM Grand hotel in Vegas. It contrasted with the maroon or burgundy tassels flecked with gold. I was in a complete state of awe and wonder. I could see details I would normally miss. I can't emphasize enough that the colors were so vivid and beautiful.

We sat in the sun on our chairs outside and when I closed my eyes the rays of the sun had made a pattern in my mind like a warm yellow quilt. The quilt seemed to be alive or even some type of being from another dimension who was friendly. When I opened my eyes I was seeing reality again but in a state of euphoria and feeling good. I just stared at a leaf that was on the ground in the warmth of the sun.

We went inside the house after a while and DW brought me a bowl of sea shells that I had seen many times in our home but this time it was so powerful. The purple in one of the shells was so incredibly beautiful and shined like an amethyst gem like in DW’s ring. I fell in love with those shells and could see why they were so important to DW and I could feel how sacred they are.

We got in the car and drove to the park and it was like I was on a ride at Disneyworld and it was a little intense until we got there. We eventually got to the park which is DW’s favorite park with so many memories of our family for her and for us. We have walked there many times. This time it was the most powerful spiritual experience I have ever had. I could feel how important this park was to her and I felt how sacred and special it was. I looked at all the trees and the plants and grasses and the colors were so beautiful and incredible. The pond was just spectacular. I felt like a little child again and that I was seeing things for the very first time. I was completely filled with awe and wonder and beauty. It became so powerful that oftentimes I would cry out of pure joy at the beauty I was experiencing. I would hug DW and cry from time to time and it just felt incredible that we were sharing this experience. I felt profound reverence for the place and for nature. I just was fascinated by every little thing. Before we entered the park I found an envelope of sorts on the ground for a gift card that said ‘A Gift For You’ and that is exactly what this was. I just kept saying how sacred the place was. We crossed the bridge over the river and it was like crossing a gateway into another world filled with the wonder of seeing things again but for the first time. It was a beautiful Fall day. I told DW that I was learning a lesson about Nature and that it was perfect as it is and didn’t need to be changed. I thought about our children this way. That they are perfect as they are. I thought about DW that way. I thought about her like the sea shells she showed me back at home.

There was an area where we had picnics on a little hill with our children in the past and over the hill was a bench and a huge tree with a little shrine that someone had set up. I had seen it many times before but again this was like it was for the first time through new eyes or my "spiritual eyes".

There was an angel statue on the ground and a wreath on the tree which was like a little shrine. I went over to examine these things and could feel that this place was so sacred. I had deep and profound appreciation for that little statue and the wreath that a human being had made and put there and also the tree that was a part of nature. I examined the tree and the bark looking at every detail. Normally bark is dull but not now. It was alive with beautiful greens and blues of the moss living on it. There were parts of the tree where the bark had fallen off and the whitish wood was exposed and some type of animal or insect or snail of sorts had created patterns on the exposed wood and I said it was like the engravings on the gold plates and it was the scriptures of nature and cried because I knew I was being healed further from the trauma of leaving the church and it didn’t matter any more that the gold plates weren’t what I was told they were. I knew I was being healed in that place from the trauma that brought the mushrooms to me in the first place and that I was having such a powerful experience there and that my brain was being reset and I was letting go of the past and moving on.

On the other side of the tree there was a large cavity in the tree and DW noticed that on the sides of the hole the wood looked like angel’s wings like the little statue on the ground in front of the tree. I had DW stand in front of the hole with the wooden angel’s wings behind her. And she was just beautiful. We left the tree eventually and walked to the corn field that borders the park. It was just stunning. The corn was all dry and golden and ready to be harvested. I remembered a time when DW and I went to stay with her grandparents and how I looked out at a cornfield with just me and her grandfather and he told me he believed in a “High Power” and that looking out at the corn field confirmed that to him. I felt the great sacrifices he had made and how hard he worked to bless the lives of his children and grandchildren and I felt such reverence for him and gratitude. I cried. I felt the presence of my mom and grandfather who were dead and as we walked they were somehow able to be present there in that sacred and holy park and they were happy and I was happy. I was being healed and I was just crying throughout this whole experience. Eventually we made it back to the car.

We got home and I ate a bit of food. We watched the National Parks documentary on Netflix narrated by Barack Obama and just his voice and seeing the wonders of nature on the screen were so comforting to me and again filled me with awe and I could see details that otherwise I probably would have missed or not experienced on such a profound and deep level. DW had washed our sheets and we went upstairs and we took off our clothes and were in bed together. We mostly just held each other. It felt amazing but I knew the medicine was fading by that time. We just held each other for a while and when we got up I knew for sure that the medicine was fading. I was coming in for a soft landing. There was a little bit of sadness that the journey was over. But what I had experienced was the most powerful experience of my whole life. It was all the spiritual experiences I had ever had in my life amplified 100% all in about 6-7 hours. It made my negative feedback loops of the past and how I saw myself in negative ways seem so distant and small in comparison. It was probably one of the, if not the, best day I ever had. I felt healed and rejuvenated. I could not believe what the plant medicine did for me. It completely exceeded my expectations.

I can't thank you enough Hagoth. I wish I could just hug you and tell you in person how grateful I am for you. Maybe some day.
Last edited by stealthbishop on Mon Oct 24, 2022 6:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess"

-Depeche Mode

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Linked
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by Linked » Fri Oct 21, 2022 10:46 am

Wow Stealth, that sounds amazing. Thank you for sharing this sacred experience.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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Hagoth
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by Hagoth » Fri Oct 21, 2022 3:59 pm

stealthbishop wrote:
Fri Oct 21, 2022 8:40 am
I can't thank you enough Hagoth. I wish I could just hug you and tell you in person how grateful I am for you. Maybe some day.
Me too, brother! I can't tell you how happy I am that this was such a powerful and spiritual experience for you. I imagine you are feeling pretty tired today, but expect to feel energized during the next week. And give yourself plenty of quiet time to integrate the experience, and to talk it over with your wife or anyone else who can help you process it. Whether or not you feel the need to ever do it again, you may be processing and integrating this experience for years.

One of the fascinating things about this medicine is that, even though you go into it looking for therapy for yourself, you often spend a lot of the time thinking about the people you love most, feeling deep empathy for them, and seeing things through their eyes. And you realize that healing yourself has so much to do with loving other people and accepting that they love you.

Let him enter!
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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DPRoberts
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by DPRoberts » Sun Oct 23, 2022 9:34 am

Wow, Stealth. I thank you for the encouragement, as I have yet to take the plant medicine sacrament but now want to more than ever. I like how you got your wife to be your sitter. Mine is more hardcore TBM but I think I will ask her to be my sitter anyway as there is no one I would rather share the experience with than her. With sufficient time she may warm to the idea.

I love how you describe the emotional part of your experience. I get the sense that there was a lot of gratitude brought to the surface, and I find for myself that gratitude and awe are the emotions I most associate with (ghostless) spiritual experiences. The richness of your lifetime of experiences was clearly a contributing factor in the depth of what you felt. That is another reason I am encouraged to try this.

I am sorry I missed Hagoth's schroomiversity presentation with The Divine Assembly. DW loves to garden, so she might take an interest in that part of the process. Hagoth, are there plans for you to present that again in the future?
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease to be mistaken or cease to be honest. -anon
The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world. -Max Born

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Hagoth
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by Hagoth » Sun Oct 23, 2022 1:50 pm

DPRoberts wrote:
Sun Oct 23, 2022 9:34 am
Hagoth, are there plans for you to present that again in the future?
I'm not sure. I'm thinking that maybe I should make a video of it that I can link in The Divine Assembly's website.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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stealthbishop
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by stealthbishop » Mon Oct 24, 2022 6:40 am

I made a mistake. I took 3g instead of 3mg. I did edit my OP to change that error.
"Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess"

-Depeche Mode

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RubinHighlander
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by RubinHighlander » Mon Oct 24, 2022 8:14 am

Stealth!

Congrats, high fives, fist bumps and hugs!

Thank you for sharing your experience! Your descriptions were well written and made me emotional as you described them, because of my own experiences. You really did it right my brother, at least from my experience, you did all the right steps to make your first journey a great one. I'm so glad your DW was there to help you; looks like it strengthened the bond between you. It always does with my DW when we take our trips together.

Take your fungus pills and put your helmet on...
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
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Red Ryder
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by Red Ryder » Tue Oct 25, 2022 4:23 pm

Great write up!
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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deacon blues
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by deacon blues » Sat Oct 29, 2022 11:33 am

I wish you well, Stealth. I find this fascinating. Personally, I find that certain pieces of music or scenes from nature can send me into a mild to moderate euphoria, and I know how to use them to achieve this, so I'll stick to them for now, but thanks for sharing. :D 8-)
God is Love. God is Truth. The greatest problem with organized religion is that the organization becomes god, rather than a means of serving God.

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stealthbishop
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Re: My Mushroom Journey

Post by stealthbishop » Mon Oct 31, 2022 10:42 am

deacon blues wrote:
Sat Oct 29, 2022 11:33 am
I wish you well, Stealth. I find this fascinating. Personally, I find that certain pieces of music or scenes from nature can send me into a mild to moderate euphoria, and I know how to use them to achieve this, so I'll stick to them for now, but thanks for sharing. :D 8-)
Absolutely. Add breathwork and meditation to the list of ways to achieve this state as well. Glad you mentioned this!
"Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess"

-Depeche Mode

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