Well, I thought I was flying below the radar pretty well. I visited my parents this weekend and when I was alone with my dad at one point he says he's worried about me, and my DW is as well. It really caught me off guard and I HATE discussing this stuff when I'm not prepared. I don't want to tear down someone's closely held beliefs unless they make the choice to want to know. On the other hand, if someone pushes me about what I believe I'll push back. If I'm not prepared it can come out pretty harsh.
It continues to amaze me how much longtime members of the church DON'T know about the history of the church even though now all of this information is easily available on the internet, and how they just suck in anything the leaders say without any scrutiny. At one point in the discussion, he conceded that polygamy (my biggest issue) did bother him at one time. He made what I thought was a reference to JS's polyandry, but he was actually talking about JS's "test" of Heber C. Kimball in asking Heber to give him Vilate. I made an offhand comment about all of the men's wives he married and he was like, "huh??" "Yeah Dad, he married a bunch of other men's wives for real, not as a test. Well, except for Vilate, with that one he just married her fourteen year old daughter instead." "That's terrible," he says. "Yes!! That's my problem!" He then said I needed to stick to church approved sources like he does. I replied, "Is lds.org 'approved' enough for you?" Then some other family came in and it ended on that.
One good thing that came of it was the discussion with DW later. She swears she didn't put him up to it

so I let it go. I then vented to her about the whole thing. I talked about how much I resented the implication that I am betraying the church, or that I want to sin or something. "Does he really think I am enjoying this!! I hate this, and it would be so much easier to just go along with it. But I cannot say that something is true that is not any more than I can look at that wall and say it is blue when I know it is white." I can tell DW has been stressed about my FC, and has implied many of the same things my dad did. By venting about him, it wasn't like I was attacking her but I was able to say stuff that needed to be addressed without her feeling threatened. Since this conversation, she doesn't seem nearly as worried or stressed about the whole FC.
Of course, Dad has a history of "helping" a little too much, so I am bracing for what comes next.