Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Red Ryder
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Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Aug 07, 2019 10:39 am

How about publishing these alternative gospel topic church essays:

1. Sex 101: Helping the youth to develop a healthy sexuality.

2. Diversity: Opening your eyes to see the world is a bigger place than Utah.

3. Modesty: Shoulders? Thighs? Oh my!

4. Exercise and the effects on Sister Thompson’s mental health, waistline, and self esteem. Now with 23 healthy alternative donut recipes the Relief Society will approve of that don't need a prayer to nourish and strengthen your body!

5. Women: You’re more than just a vagina in God’s eyes!

6. Rules of Engagement: helping young single adults become adults before they propose to their potential marriage partner after 3 months of dating.

7. Callings: It’s ok to say no? No, really!

8. Scripture Study: A comparison between Harry Potter, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and the Book of Mormon.

9: Critical Thinking: You can do it!

10. Life Lesson: Be kind! It’s that simple.

What other ones scan we come up with and then send a list of to Elder Uchtdorf and Gong?
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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crossmyheart
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Location: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain

Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by crossmyheart » Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:06 am

Not sure if it should be a sub-category of #9 or if it is big enough to get it's very own essay:

MLM's: It's a trap!

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Corsair
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by Corsair » Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:22 am

Tithing: If you pay on Net rather than Gross you will still get a temple recommend and you can fund your retirement account far more easily. (this one feels particularly unlikely to be produced)

Mutual Night Activities: This is not an ordinance of salvation. If you have something better to do than dodgeball (or whatever else the leaders came up with), you should not be shamed for skipping mutual night. Homework, school extracurricular activities, family events, and getting a good night sleep are all valid alternatives.

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MoPag
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by MoPag » Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:40 am

I love these!! :lol:

Relationships 101: Red Flags > Promptings of Spirit
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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MoPag
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by MoPag » Fri Aug 09, 2019 9:48 am

Oh and this one should be a whole series:

Recognizing the Humanity in Others

Even though Church leaders past and present have voiced their disdain for these people, Jesus still loves them. We should recognize their humanity, by treating them with dignity, listening to their voices and respecting their boundaries.

Women Are People Too
Members of the LGBTQIA Community Are People Too
Single People Are People Too
Childless Couples Are People Too
Divorcés Are People Too
Blue Collar Workers Are People Too
People of Color Are People Too
Early Return Missionaries Are People Too
Post and Ex-Mormons Are People Too
People Who Struggle With Mental Illness Are People Too
Less Active and Inactive Members Are People Too
Members in Mixed Faith Marriages Are People Too
Non Members Are People Too
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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RubinHighlander
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Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by RubinHighlander » Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:10 am

- Fighting the cast system in your local unit
- Avoid talking down to or patronizing women: A Guide for Priesthood Leadership
- Is the world going to hell? A review of factual statistical data
- Be your own personal Jebus
“Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever.”
--Douglas Adams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzmYP3PbfXE

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Red Ryder
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:57 am

MoPag wrote:
Fri Aug 09, 2019 9:48 am
Oh and this one should be a whole series:

Recognizing the Humanity in Others

Even though Church leaders past and present have voiced their disdain for these people, Jesus still loves them. We should recognize their humanity, by treating them with dignity, listening to their voices and respecting their boundaries.

Women Are People Too
Members of the LGBTQIA Community Are People Too
Single People Are People Too
Childless Couples Are People Too
Divorcés Are People Too
Blue Collar Workers Are People Too
People of Color Are People Too
Early Return Missionaries Are People Too
Post and Ex-Mormons Are People Too
People Who Struggle With Mental Illness Are People Too
Less Active and Inactive Members Are People Too
Members in Mixed Faith Marriages Are People Too
Non Members Are People Too
You’re hired! When can you start? Are you ok with using WordPerfect? The staff at the Ensign just got computers and need someone to train them on this new word processing software from an Orem company. I hear they also have this new thing called dial up and AOL??
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

lostinmiddlemormonism
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by lostinmiddlemormonism » Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:09 pm

Not everyone is 3; save your primary voice for sunbeams - how to talk to normal people.
J. Golden Kimball and how to give a damn good talk.
Your bishops a dentist? Mine is a lawyer. Take your problems to a professional therapist.
The Word of Wisdom, why did Jesus say it's not a commandment?
Hickory, dickory dock, Fanny was sucking Joe's...How many times do I have to tell you don't look in the barn!
Porter Rockwell, the original reason the church offers no apologies
Thomas Monson - he's a Mormon boy. Russ Nelson - no he's not!
Buying a stairway to heaven...the true costs of the Celestial Kingdom.
We are not racists...repeat until you believe it.

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Ho Lee Turtle
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by Ho Lee Turtle » Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:33 am

How about a essay on the garment? It could answer such controversial mysteries as;

1. How it came to exist and it’s true purpose in ETCOJCOLDS religion
2. What Joseph meant when he said it was exactly as God revealed after the sewing sisters made several attempts to get it right and then he declared it should never be changed (and then explain all the subsequent changes), yep define the origin of the authorized pattern
3. Why it was not worn by Joseph at Carthage - was it just too hot to be comfortable? Should comfort be more important than safety?
4. Why is the church the sole producer and monopoly on supply? The true ZCMI went out of business I guess.
5. How should wearing them day and night really be interpreted?
6. Are they really bullet proof, fire proof, slash resistant, blood stain resistant or is that a myth?
7. Tips for how to keep them dry when showering and other engaging activities.
8. Fabric selection for beginners and “modifications” to make them work with your existing wardrobe and still avoid porn shoulders.
9. For women only, answer the debate about if they go over or under the bra.

I’m sure there is more about this one that inquiring minds of the world will want to know.

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jfro18
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by jfro18 » Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:58 am

Ho Lee Turtle wrote:
Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:33 am
How about a essay on the garment? It could answer such controversial mysteries as;

1. How it came to exist and it’s true purpose in ETCOJCOLDS religion

I’m sure there is more about this one that inquiring minds of the world will want to know.
I hate garments so much. I listened to a Year of Polygamy podcast about the evolution of the temple ceremony and they talk a bit about garments, and how they really appeared to originate so that people could know who was a polygamist without having to ask.

And that makes a lot of sense- Joseph used the original temple ceremony to be a super secret way to hide polygamy, so the garments helped people ID each other without having to have been initiated into the 'holy order' together.

Not to mention that women had to bed and plead for decades before they would make a female version.

They are so gross, so ugly, and so controlling... If they could remove garments it would help so many people - especially those in mixed faith marriages.

Did I mention I hate garments? Makes me want to write something going over all the things you outlined above.

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wtfluff
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Location: Worshiping Gravity / Pulling Taffy

Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by wtfluff » Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:24 pm

MoPag wrote:
Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:40 am
Relationships 101: Red Flags > Promptings of Spirit
OUCH!

:cry:
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. -Frater Ravus

IDKSAF -RubinHighlander

You can surrender without a prayer...

Wonderment
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Re: Alternative Gospel Topic Essays

Post by Wonderment » Sun Aug 11, 2019 1:17 pm

:D :D :D These are all wonderful ! What a GREAT thread! Thank you, RR and everyone for a real day-brightener. -Wndr.

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