New member

[Fletch]

This is my first post. I’ve been reading this site for about a month. Everyone seems so nice. There are some really nice, supportive people here. Been a member my whole life. But, I’m sensing some things just aren’t right. And there isn’t anyone in my circle that I can talk to about it. My whole world is TBM’s as you all would call it. So, after some reading on this site I feel like I know some of you even though you don’t know me. I wanted to thank you all for your kind thoughts to each other. So so so refreshing. No guilt or manipulation. Just peoples real thoughts. I think I need that right now. I’m thinking many of you know what I’m going through. Kind of nervous about even saying anything but I feel the need to. Thanks everyone.

[2bizE]

Welcome Fletch. I enjoyed your movies back in the 80s. BTW, are you still with the mattress police? We are a pretty friendly bunch here and welcome all sorts of comments and help each out with our faith transitions. Feel save to share , learn, help, and laugh...and cry sometimes as well. We all roll pretty smooth and easy here...because it is all in the ball bearings on NOM.

[Mackman]

Welcome fletch . This is a safe place for us all, many of us cannot vent that's why we come here to be among our nom friends who understand and support each other. I was on the 1st nom board under a different name but have been here for a while as well. Feel free to share and know you are safe here !!!!

[AllieOop]

This is my first post. I’ve been reading this site for about a month. Everyone seems so nice. There are some really nice, supportive people here. Been a member my whole life. But, I’m sensing some things just aren’t right. And there isn’t anyone in my circle that I can talk to about it. My whole world is TBM’s as you all would call it. So, after some reading on this site I feel like I know some of you even though you don’t know me. I wanted to thank you all for your kind thoughts to each other. So so so refreshing. No guilt or manipulation. Just peoples real thoughts. I think I need that right now. I’m thinking many of you know what I’m going through. Kind of nervous about even saying anything but I feel the need to. Thanks everyone.

Hi Fletch!

You're right....we DO know what you're going through!

I vividly remember finding NOM when I was feeling so alone regarding my new feelings about the church. I remember going to church and looking around and thinking that I was the only one with those feelings and that I could not ever let anyone know about my doubts and questions. Then I stumbled across the NOM forum and immediately felt safe and at home and welcomed.

So, please know that you will not be judged here and your questions and comments are safe. There are so many here with such incredible wisdom and insight who are willing to help and share.

Welcome! I hope you stick around


***********************

[RubinHighlander]

Moon River!

Welcome Fletch! I've been out for a couple of years but I remember well the pain I went through to get here. I still have family and friends that are TBM and some that are in transition. This is the best site on the web for good people trying to make sense of it all and work their way through it. We wish you luck in your journey and we are here for you! Next time you are in a bishop's interview, I dare you to ask him if he ever served time in prison.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-zf2UBp7fY

[Corsair]

This is my first post. I’ve been reading this site for about a month. Everyone seems so nice. There are some really nice, supportive people here. Been a member my whole life. But, I’m sensing some things just aren’t right. And there isn’t anyone in my circle that I can talk to about it. My whole world is TBM’s as you all would call it. So, after some reading on this site I feel like I know some of you even though you don’t know me. I wanted to thank you all for your kind thoughts to each other. So so so refreshing. No guilt or manipulation. Just peoples real thoughts. I think I need that right now. I’m thinking many of you know what I’m going through. Kind of nervous about even saying anything but I feel the need to. Thanks everyone.

We are happy to have you here. I have long been disappointed by the poor rhetoric and lack of understanding about a faith transition if you only speak to LDS leaders. The average bishop does not know how to handle a faith transition. I fear that the talents for "LDS leadership" and "understanding spiritual and moral development" do not overlap in the real world. The people that do know how to work with faith transitions are rarely the type that are called into leadership positions.

This causes a lot of pain for us. It has clearly caused pain for you. Instead, let's look at this as an opportunity to develop a better basis for moral and spiritual progression. We must transcend the narrow logic that has trapped us. There are lots of ways that we can live, even with an LDS framework. We hope you can also find your better path.

[Red Ryder]

Turn off the Internet, turn around, close your eyes, plug your ears, repeat after me: Follow the Prophet, follow the prophet; he knows the way! Follow the prophet.... he won’t lead you astray.

Still here? OK, yes this is tough stuff. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Your life will never be the same. You are awake.

Look around and see that the world is a beautiful place! See the different ideas, the new people, a new perspective. Enjoy this time because it does fade eventually when you realize that humans are tribal and brutal to each other. This probably also occurs as your belief that we are all children of God begins to get questioned.

Personally I’ve stopped at apathetic agnostic because I’m too intellectually lazy to move past caring if god exists or not. I’ve replaced the desire to know the mysterious of God with the desire for continued survival on a cruel and harsh planet, the desire to enjoy the life I have left, the desire to make new friends, visit really cool places, make and eat good food, and occasionally eat, drink, and be merry as much as responsibly possible.

My advice for someone going through this is to build a parallel life that focuses on your hobbies, happiness, and new way of thinking so that you have a replacement for the gap Mormonism will leave.

Take it slow. Take your spouse along with you. If your marriage is only built on the common grounds of Church you will find yourself in a 2 fold mess. Determine if you can continue. If so then work hard at it. If not, divorce is ok too.

Finally, remember that you are not the crazy one here for questioning the church. If it’s true then it will hold up to scrutiny and your faith will remain intact. If it’s not, then you will be told you’re being deceived by Satan and you’ll laugh at how silly and stupid that all sounds.

Now go and conquer the world and remember the words of the true prophets: Live long and Prosper!

[Fletch]

Thanks for the nice welcome and great advise. Great humor around here too, which I like. I think I’ll be sticking around. Loved those Fletch movies. Glad my new name (haha) got some comments.

[Hagoth]

Nice to have you here, Fletch. Yeah, opening that door and stepping out into the next place can be pretty scary. But the next room is so much bigger!

[Hermey]

Turn off the Internet, turn around, close your eyes, plug your ears, repeat after me: Follow the Prophet, follow the prophet; he knows the way! Follow the prophet.... he won’t lead you astray.

Still here? OK, yes this is tough stuff. It’s an emotional roller coaster. Your life will never be the same. You are awake.

Look around and see that the world is a beautiful place! See the different ideas, the new people, a new perspective. Enjoy this time because it does fade eventually when you realize that humans are tribal and brutal to each other. This probably also occurs as your belief that we are all children of God begins to get questioned.

Personally I’ve stopped at apathetic agnostic because I’m too intellectually lazy to move past caring if god exists or not. I’ve replaced the desire to know the mysterious of God with the desire for continued survival on a cruel and harsh planet, the desire to enjoy the life I have left, the desire to make new friends, visit really cool places, make and eat good food, and occasionally eat, drink, and be merry as much as responsibly possible.

My advice for someone going through this is to build a parallel life that focuses on your hobbies, happiness, and new way of thinking so that you have a replacement for the gap Mormonism will leave.

Take it slow. Take your spouse along with you. If your marriage is only built on the common grounds of Church you will find yourself in a 2 fold mess. Determine if you can continue. If so then work hard at it. If not, divorce is ok too.

Finally, remember that you are not the crazy one here for questioning the church. If it’s true then it will hold up to scrutiny and your faith will remain intact. If it’s not, then you will be told you’re being deceived by Satan and you’ll laugh at how silly and stupid that all sounds.

Now go and conquer the world and remember the words of the true prophets: Live long and Prosper!

This. x1000.

[jfro18]

Welcome to the board - hope to see you around!

This has been a great place to vent and to get advice, and I see a lot of great advice above.

It's definitely been difficult navigating the mixed faith marriage part for me, but other than that I'm so glad to have gotten through that believing mentality for the church... it's a great big world out there that isn't so scary when 90 year old dudes aren't constantly telling you not to step outside.

[Kishkumen]

Hey Fletch

I don't post much anymore but happened to see your post. Welcome.

And I think many of us understand what you're going through. Ask all the questions you want here. We love kicking this same dog.

I'm glad you resonate with the openness of the conversation here. My advice is to mimic this openness with all the conversations you have in real life. Let those around you know whats going on (in an appropriate time/place of course)

You got this!

[AllieOop]

Loved those Fletch movies. Glad my new name (haha) got some comments.

We quote Fletch often around our house!

Now, you just need to find a good avatar! How's this?

[AllieOop]

Or:

[Lithium Sunset]

Yes, there are great people here. At least I think so. And they have made all the difference in my faith transition. I can't imagine coming through it all so well without everyone here. Although we each have a unique journey, many here can share the sentiment, "I'm sensing some things just aren't right." And unfortunately also the one of feeling alone... another reason this site is so wonderful. I wish you could access the wealth of knowledge from the old site but.. oh well.

There's no pressure. NOM is a safe place to sort out your feelings over time. There is also no false caring; we know how hard this is. Buckle up, it's a roller coaster, but it's worth the ride.

Best of luck to you fletch.

[Fletch]

Loved those Fletch movies. Glad my new name (haha) got some comments.

We quote Fletch often around our house!

Now, you just need to find a good avatar! How's this?

AllieOop....I got my new avatar. I love it. I’ve been reading the posts all over this website and it’s so interesting. I’ve never been part part of a board like this. Please forgive me if I mess up my posts etc. So, with my work travel and various events these last few months I haven’t been to church in about 7 weeks. I’ve been avoiding it. Not one person has said anything to me. After reading Uchtdorf’s “Faith Crisis Report” in the other post I’m literally blown away. It’s so interesting to me that when you look at things with a different perspective how bizarre these people are. I’ve been away from church for 7 weeks and I feel just fine. What bothers me is that the TBM’s that only see things from one perspective....yea guys, I’m starting to see it even more. My DW is TBM for sure. She is a saint. I love her to death. This has to be my outlet I think for a while. Thank you all.

[Fletch]

Moon River!

Welcome Fletch! I've been out for a couple of years but I remember well the pain I went through to get here. I still have family and friends that are TBM and some that are in transition. This is the best site on the web for good people trying to make sense of it all and work their way through it. We wish you luck in your journey and we are here for you! Next time you are in a bishop's interview, I dare you to ask him if he ever served time in prison.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-zf2UBp7fY

Also thank you RubinHighlander for the MoonRiver YouTube clip. So I am just laughing right now looking through everyone’s avatars...some are funny, some have deep personal meaning, some reflect an event. Mine conveys exactly how I am feeling right now, bent over and just taking it hard....lol. So, when you all see a post from me you will know how I’m feeling.

[græy]

What bothers me is that the TBM’s that only see things from one perspective....yea guys, I’m starting to see it even more. My DW is TBM for sure. She is a saint. I love her to death. This has to be my outlet I think for a while. Thank you all.

Welcome to the group! We're happy you found us, many (most?) of us are in this same place.

[AllieOop]

Allieoop....I got my new avatar. I love it.

Looks great....I love it too!!
Glad you’re sticking around!

[John G.]

Welcome! Based on your profile name and picture I would guess you are in your 40’s? That movie made an impression on most teenagers in the 80’s.