General Konference Predictions

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hmb
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by hmb » Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:20 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Thu Mar 04, 2021 2:06 pm
Laziness talks will push me over the edge.

Substitute laziness for busyness. The church keeps its members in a perpetual cycle of busyness. The pandemic has exposed that.

Church before pandemic:
................................
................................
................................

Church during pandemic:
.

Why active Mormons can’s see the this is beyond me. You’ve experienced a significant decline in busyness and you still want to go back?
This is easy. Busy work is all about obedience. A small child is given chores to do for training purposes. Clean the bathroom, sweep the floor, make the bed... The parent will have to go behind and improve their kids' efforts. Adult members of the church are in training for eternal stuff. So busy work is not a waste of time, but provides opportunities to be obedient and practice for your own future planets and offspring. It serves to weed out the lazy; those who do as little as possible to keep their temple recommends and good standing in the church. Those who stayed as busy as they could show that they have the true spirit of service (with a happy heart). Not the "check it off the list for the month" service.

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2bizE
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by 2bizE » Sat Mar 06, 2021 11:19 am

I also predict some misogyny with newly called GAs....
~2bizE

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Hagoth
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Hagoth » Sat Mar 06, 2021 4:55 pm

Reuben wrote:
Fri Mar 05, 2021 2:03 am
I think addressing Trumpism would have to be muted...
The closest they have come is to recommend that members not adhere to extreme and incorrect political ideas (can't remember the exact wording). All that did was give members fuel for pointing out how wrong the other guy is. Unlike Judas many lack the introspection in such situations to ask, "Is it I Lord?"
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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2bizE
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by 2bizE » Thu Mar 18, 2021 12:52 pm

I predict the creation of the Deseret Coffee Company owned by the church. In Konference, RMN will announce Coffee drinking is okay, but only from church approved sources. Only the Deseret Coffee Company is an approved source....
~2bizE

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moksha
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by moksha » Sat Mar 20, 2021 11:43 pm

Is it a good idea to have a list of snacks to be picked up for General Conference? Beyond the obvious like Diet Coke and microwave kettle popcorn, what other snacks should we have on hand?
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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MoPag
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by MoPag » Mon Mar 22, 2021 9:51 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:54 pm
More important question is “Will MoPag be running her bi-annual NOMmentary?”
I sure will!!!

I'm working very hard right now so have the weekend free to enjoy the sh!t show with my fellow NOMies.

Also I have some broad spectrum gummy bears to help me though it!!!
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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MoPag
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by MoPag » Mon Mar 22, 2021 10:32 am

moksha wrote:
Sat Mar 20, 2021 11:43 pm
Is it a good idea to have a list of snacks to be picked up for General Conference? Beyond the obvious like Diet Coke and microwave kettle popcorn, what other snacks should we have on hand?
I always have my morning Latte.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Just This Guy
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Just This Guy » Mon Mar 22, 2021 11:43 am

moksha wrote:
Sat Mar 20, 2021 11:43 pm
Is it a good idea to have a list of snacks to be picked up for General Conference? Beyond the obvious like Diet Coke and microwave kettle popcorn, what other snacks should we have on hand?
I've got chocolate chip cookie shot cups left over from St. Patrick's Day and Baileys that I can bring to the party.
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." -- Douglas Adams

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Culper Jr.
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Culper Jr. » Mon Mar 22, 2021 12:45 pm

2bizE wrote:
Thu Mar 18, 2021 12:52 pm
I predict the creation of the Deseret Coffee Company owned by the church. In Konference, RMN will announce Coffee drinking is okay, but only from church approved sources. Only the Deseret Coffee Company is an approved source....
I've given up on the hope for legalized coffee.. I've had my heart broken too many times thinking I would be able to proudly display a coffee maker on my kitchen counter instead of skulking around local coffee shops, then afterward eating mints and airing out my car to get rid of that shameful roasted bean smell.

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Red Ryder
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Red Ryder » Mon Mar 22, 2021 12:56 pm

Culper Jr. wrote:
Mon Mar 22, 2021 12:45 pm
...instead of skulking around local coffee shops, then afterward eating mints and airing out my car to get rid of that shameful roasted bean smell.
Guilty of same lol...
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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jfro18
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by jfro18 » Mon Mar 22, 2021 1:16 pm

I predict they lessen the garment requirements but that DW continues to wear them 24/7 anyway. :lol:

(I'm kidding - I don't think they'll do that anytime too soon, but I can always hope)

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Angel
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Angel » Mon Mar 22, 2021 6:42 pm

Word on the street is the Pear of Great Price is getting a make-over. New headings above chapters, and possibly adding the family proclamation as "scripture". Complete word of mouth speculations. Really hope they do not completely entrench themselves against the LGBTQ community by canonizing the family proclamation.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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2bizE
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by 2bizE » Mon Mar 22, 2021 7:28 pm

Culper Jr. wrote:
Mon Mar 22, 2021 12:45 pm
2bizE wrote:
Thu Mar 18, 2021 12:52 pm
I predict the creation of the Deseret Coffee Company owned by the church. In Konference, RMN will announce Coffee drinking is okay, but only from church approved sources. Only the Deseret Coffee Company is an approved source....
I've given up on the hope for legalized coffee.. I've had my heart broken too many times thinking I would be able to proudly display a coffee maker on my kitchen counter instead of skulking around local coffee shops, then afterward eating mints and airing out my car to get rid of that shameful roasted bean smell.
Sounds like you need a tub of Sanka coffee which is prophet approved. Whether or not you actually drink it is irrelevant because you can always explain the cup of joe you are drinking is Sanka.
~2bizE

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Culper Jr.
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Culper Jr. » Mon Mar 22, 2021 8:59 pm

2bizE wrote:
Mon Mar 22, 2021 7:28 pm
Sounds like you need a tub of Sanka coffee which is prophet approved. Whether or not you actually drink it is irrelevant because you can always explain the cup of joe you are drinking is Sanka.
"Coffee?!?, don't be silly; it's a Sanka-uccino with an extra shot of Sanka."

Reuben
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Reuben » Tue Mar 23, 2021 1:02 am

MoPag wrote:
Mon Mar 22, 2021 9:51 am
Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Mar 03, 2021 1:54 pm
More important question is “Will MoPag be running her bi-annual NOMmentary?”
I sure will!!!

I'm working very hard right now so have the weekend free to enjoy the sh!t show with my fellow NOMies.

Also I have some broad spectrum gummy bears to help me though it!!!
It's gonna be great! 8-)

Also, it's very cool that they're starting to put antibiotics in gummy bears. Not just for kids!

;)
Learn to doubt the stories you tell about yourselves and your adversaries.

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Yobispo
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Yobispo » Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:08 pm

Angel wrote:
Mon Mar 22, 2021 6:42 pm
Word on the street is the Pear of Great Price is getting a make-over. New headings above chapters, and possibly adding the family proclamation as "scripture". Complete word of mouth speculations. Really hope they do not completely entrench themselves against the LGBTQ community by canonizing the family proclamation.
I can't remember a single active TBM ever being bothered by the Fam Proc. If they did, they were keeping it to themselves. The Exmo community has made their position very clear, of course.
I don't think that canonizing the FP will damage the church in the short run like some predict because TBMs will be so excited about it (We hAvE a pROfiT!!), but it may wipe out some who are still hanging on - more NOMs resigning. If the big bad world complains and calls it anti-LGBT so what, they already say that about the Mormon church. I think I'm in a small minority, but I see it as a short-term win and long-term big problem for the Mormon church.

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nibbler
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by nibbler » Tue Mar 23, 2021 3:03 pm

I'll give my standard, perennial prediction.


You want a prediction about general conference, you're asking the wrong guy. I'll give you a general conference prediction: It's gonna be irrelevant, it's gonna be boring, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.
– Anais Nin

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Angel
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by Angel » Tue Mar 23, 2021 5:10 pm

Yobispo wrote:
Tue Mar 23, 2021 2:08 pm
Angel wrote:
Mon Mar 22, 2021 6:42 pm
Word on the street is the Pear of Great Price is getting a make-over. New headings above chapters, and possibly adding the family proclamation as "scripture". Complete word of mouth speculations. Really hope they do not completely entrench themselves against the LGBTQ community by canonizing the family proclamation.
I can't remember a single active TBM ever being bothered by the Fam Proc. If they did, they were keeping it to themselves. The Exmo community has made their position very clear, of course.
I don't think that canonizing the FP will damage the church in the short run like some predict because TBMs will be so excited about it (We hAvE a pROfiT!!), but it may wipe out some who are still hanging on - more NOMs resigning. If the big bad world complains and calls it anti-LGBT so what, they already say that about the Mormon church. I think I'm in a small minority, but I see it as a short-term win and long-term big problem for the Mormon church.

pRofit and PResident "Kirton McConkie", the actual author of the document :twisted:
http://www.qrd.org/qrd/usa/legal/hawaii ... s-04.14.97

Not a small minority:
https://religionnews.com/2021/03/22/wha ... t-mormons/

Image

Other questions deal with far-reaching aspects of Mormon life and worship that could potentially affect all members. Some that jumped out to me were:

Innovate the format and feel of General Conference to be more relevant and engaging (e.g., shorter sessions, emphasis on specific audiences or topics, variation of speakers, presentation format, engaging the audience)” — and there is a long follow-up question about which specific changes members might like to see happen
Training bishops to “harmonize repentance standards”
Offering a variety of “new missionary service models (e.g., service, humanitarian, education)”
“Adjust and/or broaden Sunday worship (e.g., tone, format, meditation, praise music, etc.)”

Shorter sessions??? Slackers, everyone paid their 10% and should get the full weekend of entertainment, they are trying to short change everyone. What is everyone paying the pRofit and apostles for if they are not even going to give their weekend spiel any more?
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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blazerb
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by blazerb » Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:48 am

I don't think there will be any big announcements. I may very well be wrong, but if they were going to canonize the PoF they would have done it 20 years ago. I can't imagine the leaders legalizing coffee or normal underwear. I am betting there will be a lot of talks shaming people for enjoying 2nd Saturday during COVID. The need to meet together will be emphasized. I believe there will be talks about the wonderful charity work done by the church to try to address the PR mess that the recent lawsuit will cause. However, publishing a financial report like most other churches is out of the question. We will be told to trust "God", by which is meant that we should trust the men who sit in the fluffy red chairs.

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fetchface
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Re: General Konference Predictions

Post by fetchface » Wed Mar 24, 2021 10:31 am

I predict that if you take all of the most interesting parts of all of the 10 hours and distil them into 10 minutes, it will still be a pretty damn boring 10 minutes.
Ubi Dubium Ibi Libertas
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