Another Utah man kills family

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Angel
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Another Utah man kills family

Post by Angel » Sat May 20, 2023 12:58 pm

It's getting to be a regular occurrence, would be good to keep track of it somewhere. I could not find previous threads, so will just start one for posterity.

Mapleton Police Chief John Jackson said in a statement Tuesday that 45-year-old Timothy Griffith used two guns, one to kill his family and the other to kill himself. Griffith was found dead Thursday along with his 42-year-old wife, Jessica Griffith; 16-year-old stepdaughter, Samantha Badel; and 5-year-old son, Alexendre Griffith. The family dog also was killed.

Michael Haight, killed the seven other members of his family and then killed himself inside the family's home in Enoch City. Tausha Haight filed for divorce from Michael Haight on December 21, according to The New York Times. Tausha Haight's mother Gail Earl, who was also killed, had been "providing support through the difficulties that they were encountering." The other victims included Haight's five children--17, 12, and 7-year-old girls, and 7 and 4-year-old boys. Geoffrey Chesnut said that the Heights had lived next door to his residence.

Jeremy Bailey, 34, called police about 9:45 a.m. and stated that he had just killed his wife, his mother-in-law, and his father-in-law, according to Layton police.Becky and Donald Stevens were visiting their daughter and Bailey from Nevada. Neighbors say they may have been intending to stay for the summer to help with alleged marriage problems between their daughter and Bailey. “In addition to the three victims, three of the family’s dogs had also been killed,”

Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow..

The above is a partial list, was just another news article today.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Palerider
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by Palerider » Sun May 21, 2023 8:58 am

Interesting that the "in-laws" frequently seem to be involved in these cases.

President Spencer W. Kimball used to say that after a couple were married the in-laws needed to butt out and let the couple solve their own problems. Which I agree with totally. In-laws are not experts or professionals. And they can be very biased.

Young adult members need to be taught that ANY kind of abuse needs to be dealt with immediately on a professional level. No stupid Bishops.

Call a non church affiliated counselor. Call the police. Find a safe haven early when necessary. Get decent family therapy.

Let Bishops count tithing. That's what they're good at. In-laws and friends mind their own business.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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Angel
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by Angel » Mon May 22, 2023 6:30 am

In the case of the Haights, she had called the police multiple times, was seeking help, sounds like years of this - years of reporting and fights but ... police have their hands full.

It is quite difficult for women in the church - who have no career, no way of supporting themselves - kids take all your strength, it's 24/7 with no time for anything else.

The moral of the stories above, cops won't help, church won't help, can't kick him out of house, so.. the only escape is pack up all the kids and move in with parents (don't invite them to join you, you have to move out).

Also, get a degree, get a job.

https://mormonleaks.io/wiki/index.php?t ... 017-06.pdf

It is the momma bears job to protect and provide.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Palerider
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by Palerider » Mon May 22, 2023 8:02 am

That may be the way it is in some town in Utah but in other parts of the country the police and other organizations are prepared to help women and children in abusive situations. They can be sheltered. As a part of our "tithing", we now donate to a local shelter for abused women and children. They do good work.

A good divorce lawyer can be helpful as well. I know that can mean money but a good one can make the abuser pay.

But you're right in the respect that the LDS org has created a culture of dependency for women. It's so twisted. For years they have said women should do the child rearing while at the same time worshipping educated women like Sheri Dew. Only in the last decades have leaders like Hinckley said a woman should get a marketable education because of the possibility of losing her husband.

I guess women weren't paying attention or else the culture was just too strong to make that change a priority.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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alas
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by alas » Mon May 22, 2023 8:38 am

Palerider wrote:
Mon May 22, 2023 8:02 am
That may be the way it is in some town in Utah but in other parts of the country the police and other organizations are prepared to help women and children in abusive situations. They can be sheltered. As a part of our "tithing", we now donate to a local shelter for abused women and children. They do good work.

A good divorce lawyer can be helpful as well. I know that can mean money but a good one can make the abuser pay.

But you're right in the respect that the LDS org has created a culture of dependency for women. It's so twisted. For years they have said women should do the child rearing while at the same time worshipping educated women like Sheri Dew. Only in the last decades have leaders like Hinckley said a woman should get a marketable education because of the possibility of losing her husband.

I guess women weren't paying attention or else the culture was just too strong to make that change a priority.

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alas
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by alas » Mon May 22, 2023 8:58 am

alas wrote:
Mon May 22, 2023 8:38 am
Palerider wrote:
Mon May 22, 2023 8:02 am
That may be the way it is in some town in Utah but in other parts of the country the police and other organizations are prepared to help women and children in abusive situations. They can be sheltered. As a part of our "tithing", we now donate to a local shelter for abused women and children. They do good work.

A good divorce lawyer can be helpful as well. I know that can mean money but a good one can make the abuser pay.

But you're right in the respect that the LDS org has created a culture of dependency for women. It's so twisted. For years they have said women should do the child rearing while at the same time worshipping educated women like Sheri Dew. Only in the last decades have leaders like Hinckley said a woman should get a marketable education because of the possibility of losing her husband.

I guess women weren't paying attention or else the culture was just too strong to make that change a priority.

Ok, I have worked in battered women’s shelters! And they are the best option, not the police. But they are horrible due to over crowding and a host of other issues.

So, first of all, thanks for donating to battered women’s shelters.


Second, No, in other states the police also fail to help. I got in an argument once with a cop from California (family member) because of his supper stinky attitude toward domestic violence victims. He didn’t think they deserved protection because going into domestic violence situations can get cops killed, so his attitude was that the women should just shut up and get killed. The cops in EVERY state hate domestic violence cases.

First of all, the law ties their hands in many states. The law states in many areas that the woman/victim has to press charges or they can’t arrest the offender. And they won’t because if they do, he gets out on bail angry as hell at her and comes after her. In Utah, the cop has to SEE him hit her, or she has to press charges. (1) in many other states, they can’t do anything unless she presses charges and she won’t because she knows the cops cannot protect her for long enough for him to forget she pressed charges.

Second, women tend to want to protect loved ones and have been known to attack the cop who is arresting her husband. She doesn’t really want him in jail. Or there is no money coming in. She wants him calmed down and cops are not trained in de-escalation. She wants him not to hurt her, but the cop can arrest him, or leave. No other options. She wants a mental health worker and all she gets is a stupid helpless cop.

I won’t try to explain all the problems the shelters are having, basically there needs to be a lot more and they need more funding, and they need to do a better job with the police by training them. I trained the police when I was a rape victim counselor, but never did I see any effort to train police how to better handle domestic violence.




1. That may change now that Utah cops are getting sued for not doing something in the case of the couple where she went missing and it was big news and a search for her, till they found her body in Wyoming and the killer kills himself. But they couldn’t because they knew there was domestic violence, but they didn’t see it and she said it was OK. They couldn’t do a thing.

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alas
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by alas » Mon May 22, 2023 8:59 am

Sorry about the posting mistakes. I do know how, just brain malfunctioning. I’ll get more coffee to help my ADD so my brain stops short circuiting.

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MoPag
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by MoPag » Mon May 22, 2023 10:46 pm

Here are the facts from the CDC:

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/ ... tfact.html

It's a problem everywhere. And true to form, the church just makes it worse.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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alas
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by alas » Tue May 23, 2023 11:32 am

MoPag wrote:
Mon May 22, 2023 10:46 pm
Here are the facts from the CDC:

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/ ... tfact.html

It's a problem everywhere. And true to form, the church just makes it worse.
It is a problem all over, but it has been improving over the years. Including how the church handles it. When my mother was a battered spouse, back in the 50s and 60s, the bishop totally blamed her. If she was just a half decent wife he wouldn’t be forced to beat her black and blue. No, the bishop would talk to him, because it was all her fault. She needed to obey and suffer through a leaking roof and another pregnancy and a house that was a barely remodeled cow barn. All her problem to solve. No, the elders quorum could not help fix the roof, unless the man of the house asked. if she didn’t like it, too bad. She had no right to complain to her husband or anybody else. And, no, the bishop would not help feed her children if she left him. This was back in the days when a married woman could not even get a bank account in her own name, so HOW could she leave her husband.

Now, women have more legal rights, even if the church still treats women as an extension of their husbands. Things are even better in a lot of ways than they were when I worked at a battered women’s shelter. But we still have a long way to go in protecting women. There needs to be a better system of protective orders, because the punishment for violating one is minimal, and only if the woman can prove he violated it. And if she is dead, it wasn’t much protection. There needs to be mandatory lock up for a cooling off period with court mandated counseling before he is even released. Laws need to recognize self defense when it is the woman’s spouse. A battered woman who kills her huband get an average of 22 years. If the batterer kills her, he gets an average of 20. Juries still blame women and think there is something the woman should do.

Anyway, if anyone hasn’t figured this out, it is one of my favorite soap boxes.

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Angel
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by Angel » Tue May 23, 2023 1:39 pm

alas wrote:
Mon May 22, 2023 8:59 am
Sorry about the posting mistakes. I do know how, just brain malfunctioning. I’ll get more coffee to help my ADD so my brain stops short circuiting.
It's difficult to even type about stuff like this, shaking hands, misspelled words.

To me, women are adults, kids should be #1 priority. For all the cult groups, pedophile dads, poverty - kids are #1. Yes, helping moms is usually /often the fastest way to help kids.

Few pedophiles are convicted. We lucked out - he videotaped it, was producing child porn.. not lucky for what is on the web, but lucky he will die in jail.

The church covered it up, blamed first wife, married in temple again, thought their addiction groups and repentance were curing him. His kids, 0-18 years of abuse.

It is not something that can be cured. For anyone reading this, need to pack up and leave. Find an aunt, a cousin, a sibling - find someone to crash with, but leave. Get through divorce papers AFTER you have left.
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Angel
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by Angel » Fri Sep 01, 2023 12:09 pm

Kouri Richins, 33, Mormon Utah mother accused of killing her husband Eric, threw a party at her house the day after his death.... writes children's book about how to cope with death

https://nypost.com/2023/05/13/kouri-ric ... nd-report/

Just keeping the crazy mormons thread up and running :)
Add your crazy stories!
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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blazerb
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by blazerb » Fri Sep 01, 2023 1:21 pm

Is it inappropriate to talk about the Ruby Franke situation here:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-passen ... 33a828c6d7

I will state at the outset that this is clearly beyond any common Mormon behavior. I do think that the pressure to present a perfect image to everyone around you can cause church members to do bad things to their kids. This is the extreme. I hope the kids get the help they need. I also hope that child protective services look closely at how the dad cares for the kids to make sure they aren't getting the same thing from him.

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Angel
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Re: Another Utah man kills family

Post by Angel » Fri Sep 01, 2023 4:56 pm

blazerb wrote:
Fri Sep 01, 2023 1:21 pm
the pressure to present a perfect image
One year our ward theme was "be ye therefore perfect"

I think serious issues are more common than most realize. The pressure to iron that shirt, comb hair, and put on a smile...
“You have learned something...That always feels at first as if you have lost something.” George Bernard Shaw
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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