A quick update

[Red Ryder]

I took a new job in the same company which resulted in more time and dedication to the company. It pays extremely well which is why I took it.

Unfortunately it means my time and dedication is to the company and not to my distractions, interests, and hobbies.

I can’t stand that life seems to be that way.

Give and take. Give and take. It seems extremely difficult to get ahead of the curve unless we are living righteously and he provides.

A quick update.

Sister Ryder has fully gone down the rabbit hole. The garments are off! Yeah!

I’ve experienced another faith crisis of sorts, I would call an emotional reconciliation. I’m traditionally a logical person who deconstructed Mormonism the first time around from a male perspective that realized the story just didn’t hold true.

This time around, I’ve been through an emotional faith crisis with a wife where I’ve finally understood how toxic the LDS church is to women and the harm that patriarchy layers upon women in this church.

To anyone reading this, I’ll always shout praises toward the “At last she said it podcast” for helping me understand from a women’s point of view. Susan and Cynthia, I owe my gratitude to you both for speaking out in such an amazing way that finally reached the heart of my wife. Something I could t do over a 17 year period.

Love wins.

Currently, we are in an amazing place, tied emotionally to an awakening that inexperienced 17 years ago, that is now being replicated over the last 2.

Conversations are raw, emotional, historical, metaphorical, open, honest and amazing. It’s exhausting in so many ways.

However, it’s brought us closer.

I don’t know where it ends. We currently attend semi regular as the wife continues to hold a young women’s calling. Her goal is to provide the young women with a message that they are loved, and that they are good enough. It’s resulted in a few conversations with the other young women leaders. A few meetings with the bishop, an attempt to release her, and a flat out denial to be released. This may have caused a black list of sorts as she just found out that she is not invited to attend the summer girls camp due to “too many advisors, not enough space.”

I’m just happy that the organization continues to push out the people that care.

Ultimately, life is beautiful after the church.

A testimony can continue, but cut out the toxic crap that binds the church to the individual. Free thought and mind can exist. It just takes time. And god forbid, human sexuality should never be repressed in the name of God the Father, the son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. May the prophets and apostles stay out of the bedroom for eternity.

The sex prevention suit has been recognized as the sensory deprivation suit. What an amazing connection and mind altering realization. The new attitude is “nobody will ever tell me what I need to do with my body again!!”

Life is short.

Live every moment as if it was your last.

Take possession of your mind, your soul, your existence.

And reclaim what was stolen by the doctrines of Joseph Smith and his 99 year old leaders in our modern times.

To anyone else living in a mixed faith marriage, I say love your spouse more than you hate the church. Love wins.

Be patient. Live long and prosper.

I’ll be around as I continue to elevate my thoughts and ponder how in the hell my wife found her way out.

Love to you all!

[Wonderment]

Beautifully written, Red Ryder. Thank you so very much. Thank you for everything you have brought to this board. You have helped me and so many others. You are valuable here beyond words. You are valuable beyond words in your family, at church, and in your community. I hope you will remain here in one capacity or the other, because your leadership is invaluable. I would really miss you if you left. Again, many thanks, and many blessings to you and your family. P.S. Congrats to Sister Ryder on freeing her mind and bidding farewell to the garments. -- Wonderment.

[moksha]

Thank you, Red Ryder for your thoughts. The truth of the Church is to be found in the wonderful kindness of its members.

[deacon blues]

Thanks for the update, Red. Best wishes maybe we'll meet again.

[græy]

This is a great update! I am really very happy for both of you Red! Jealous, but happy.

[stuck]

Red, ditto to the above. You have been an awesome contributor to this board and we will miss you. Hopefully you can check in frequently. Glad to hear your wife has seen the "light". I will have to listen to more of that podcast and see if it might interest my wife who is still 110% in

[wtfluff]

Congrats on the upgrades to employment and Syster Ryder.

[Hermey]

RR, I just gotta say--that, was f*cking beautiful.


edited to add: And it helps give people hope.

[moksha]

Is everyone as thankful for Red Ryder's remarks as the Nephites were that Tapirs were included on Noah's Ark, or that the Church was to have done the bulk of its land purchases in a stealthy manner?

[Tangent]

Hey RR,

Contrats on your new position (despite the tradeoffs, as you mentioned) and on the progress you and your wife have made together!

I heartily endorse your high opinion of the 'At last she said it' podcast. I absolutely love it and have listened to nearly every episode. They are the perfect example of those living on the inside of the organization but with eyes wide open to its flaws and shortcomings. It's been instrumental in my adopting a more nuanced view, because years ago when my shelf first broke I was preoccupied with the wrongs the church had done (generally and to me specifically) and how I could get the heck out without nuking all my close relationships. Cynthia and Susan have given me new and more sophisticated ways of viewing life on the edge of the inside.

Hope that despite your new professional responsibilities that you can still pop in and contribute. I've always loved loved loved your posts!

[crazyhamster]

That is wonderful to hear, RR! Congrats on you and your wife’s next step along this journey.

[RubinHighlander]

Virtual hugs and fist bumps Red! I'm so very happy to see your progress with your goddess. It's such a beautiful thing when a couple starts to get back into synch after going through something like this. Carpe Diem!

[MoPag]

What an awesome update RR!! Hooray for no garments!!!!