NOM needs to be a safe place

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Red Ryder
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NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Red Ryder » Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:30 am

We’ve received enough complaints on Dirty Birds posts that it’s been decided to ban him for a period of time.

The committee has voted and resolution has passed.

The board continues to experience a few glitches and cost increases and I’m committed to seeing it continue but in order to do so it needs to be a safe place.

Political posts and Trump discussions will be removed.
Infighting, name calling, and brigadier behaviors between/towards penguins and elephants will not be tolerated.

The internet is vast and wide. If you want to misbehave and ignite chaos on our lively corner of the internet then please go somewhere else.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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alas
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Re: Dirty Bird has been asked to post elsewhere.

Post by alas » Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:51 am

Good. He has been nothing but a disruption.

Mayan_Elephant
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Re: Dirty Bird has been asked to post elsewhere.

Post by Mayan_Elephant » Sun Mar 24, 2024 11:13 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:30 am
We’ve received enough complaints on Dirty Birds posts that it’s been decided to ban him for a period of time.

The committee has voted and resolution has passed.
Go ahead and ban me too.

Let's make sure that this place continues as one single ideology. Or, let's just close the place down and put a sign on the door that says, "Become a Scientologist, Democrat, or both. Replace your bad ideology with a great ideology."

I mean, if we can't discuss competing ideas then for sure, censorship and a replacement ideology is probably better anyways. I am sure this place will be much safer for people that post hateful things about Americans and Mormons now that Dirty Bird is censored so you probably don't need me here any longer. I don't hate Mormons nor Americans - same as the Dirty Bird.

Y'all got this.

ETA: I see your edits.

Interesting. Context.

I don't believe it, but I see it.
“Not ripe in spring, no standing by summer, Laches by fall, and moot by winter.”

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Red Ryder
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Re: Dirty Bird has been asked to post elsewhere.

Post by Red Ryder » Sun Mar 24, 2024 11:26 am

Mayan_Elephant wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 11:13 am
Red Ryder wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:30 am
We’ve received enough complaints on Dirty Birds posts that it’s been decided to ban him for a period of time.

The committee has voted and resolution has passed.
Go ahead and ban me too.

Done
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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Jeffret
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Jeffret » Sun Mar 24, 2024 1:23 pm

Speaking from experience, moderation is a hard, annoying job, but it can become necessary. Thanks for taking the effort to do it here and for keeping the forum running.
"Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth,
And the truth isn't what you want to see" (Charles Hart, "The Music of the Night")

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alas
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by alas » Sun Mar 24, 2024 3:30 pm

Yes, thank you for paying the bills, for getting us up and running again after a crash, and using your best judgement on banning or not. It is always a judgement call, because we do want safe, open discussion. It is judgement to err on the side of open or on the side of safe. I personally want NOM to be safe and if that means it can’t be quite as open as some would wish, then I support our moderators. I probably triggered DB’s rant on my thread, because in my example of focusing on the wrong things, I didn’t word things correctly, in that strict gun control is just as wrong as any other solution, so for that I apologize.

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Palerider
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Palerider » Sun Mar 24, 2024 4:41 pm

It's been awhile since I've posted. The last little while the site seemed to be down. I'm in the dark as to what happened here.

Regarding the "safe place" stuff I always figured two or three people could discuss differing views on about anything as long as each respected and were respectful regarding the views of the other.
I tried to explain that concept to my in-laws one time. They are major ridiculors, cynics, sarcastic, pompous, self-righteous people. They couldn't grasp the concept that sarcasm and cynicism are not true forms of communication. Sarcasm and cynicism are only intended to inflict pain. They just didn't get it.

So now they're not allowed on my property.

I don't miss them.
"There is but one straight course, and that is to seek truth and pursue it steadily."

"Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light."

George Washington

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Hagoth
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Hagoth » Sun Mar 24, 2024 6:43 pm

alas wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 3:30 pm
I probably triggered DB’s rant on my thread...
DB's entire interaction with NOM has been a rant. He appeared on the scene in the form of an unsolicited rant wrapped in accusations, and then hovered around waiting for any opportunity to offend. I'm sure he feels very picked on, as these guys usually do, but you have to admit that we showed him waaaaay more patience than we needed to.

I have tried to help these guys understand that NOM is by design a bit of an echo chamber because its purpose has always been about supporting a very specific population and was never intended to be a forum for political debate or spreading conspiracy theories. It should be a soft landing place for people looking for post-faith-crisis support and friendship, not just another chest thumping stage. There are literally thousands of places designed for that kind of conflict. When annoying people kicked off enough forums, or if they get consistently ignored there, they will often choose to target friendly communities in which they have no interest except to shake things up. That's because they don't come here for community, they come for conflict, so it never dawns on them how tone deaf their rants sound to the rest of the community. And then they feel so picked on and persecuted when people get fed up with them.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Hagoth
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Hagoth » Sun Mar 24, 2024 6:54 pm

BTW, it's great to see old friends like Jeffret and Palerider popping up again. I'm hoping we can get some more of the old vibe going.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Hagoth
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Re: Dirty Bird has been asked to post elsewhere.

Post by Hagoth » Sun Mar 24, 2024 6:55 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 11:26 am
Mayan_Elephant wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 11:13 am

Go ahead and ban me too.

Done
Self-made martyr?
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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alas
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by alas » Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:10 pm

Hagoth wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 6:43 pm
alas wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 3:30 pm
I probably triggered DB’s rant on my thread...
DB's entire interaction with NOM has been a rant. He appeared on the scene in the form of an unsolicited rant wrapped in accusations, and then hovered around waiting for any opportunity to offend. I'm sure he feels very picked on, as these guys usually do, but you have to admit that we showed him waaaaay more patience than we needed to.

I have tried to help these guys understand that NOM is by design a bit of an echo chamber because its purpose has always been about supporting a very specific population and was never intended to be a forum for political debate or spreading conspiracy theories. It should be a soft landing place for people looking for post-faith-crisis support and friendship, not just another chest thumping stage. There are literally thousands of places designed for that kind of conflict. When annoying people kicked off enough forums, or if they get consistently ignored there, they will often choose to target friendly communities in which they have no interest except to shake things up. That's because they don't come here for community, they come for conflict, so it never dawns on them how tone deaf their rants sound to the rest of the community. And then they feel so picked on and persecuted when people get fed up with them.
Yes, but I should know better than to offer bait. I got thinking about it several days ago and knew I had just given him more to go off about. And then instead of ignoring his rant and taking the conversation back to church topics, I reacted to his derailment. See, I am not always so good myself at those communication skills that I was trying to teach and let dirty fighting techniques derail the conversation.

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Hagoth
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Hagoth » Mon Mar 25, 2024 5:19 am

alas wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:10 pm
Yes, but I should know better than to offer bait. I got thinking about it several days ago and knew I had just given him more to go off about. And then instead of ignoring his rant and taking the conversation back to church topics, I reacted to his derailment. See, I am not always so good myself at those communication skills that I was trying to teach and let dirty fighting techniques derail the conversation.
I know, I did exactly the same thing a couple of months ago.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

Wonderment
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Wonderment » Mon Mar 25, 2024 3:44 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:30 am
We’ve received enough complaints on Dirty Birds posts that it’s been decided to ban him for a period of time.

The committee has voted and resolution has passed.

The board continues to experience a few glitches and cost increases and I’m committed to seeing it continue but in order to do so it needs to be a safe place.

Political posts and Trump discussions will be removed.
Infighting, name calling, and brigadier behaviors between/towards penguins and elephants will not be tolerated.

The internet is vast and wide. If you want to misbehave and ignite chaos on our lively corner of the internet then please go somewhere else.
Absolutely agree 100% with this decision. Sometimes, political discussions are inescapable, because the church itself gets caught up in politics. But when the entire focus of the board turns into political arguments, then the main purpose of the board is lost.

For the purpose of disclosure: I'm a Democrat. I support: our current U.S. president, gun safety laws, rights for LGBT people, and rights for women. But I don't want to wade through long-winded, rambling arguments about those national political topics on this board. There are millions of social media sites for arguments about politics or culture war issues. That's not the purpose here.

The purpose of this board is to provide support and a "soft place to fall" for people undergoing a faith transition or people involved in a relationship of mixed faith, or people who are PIMO, or people who are caught up in a cult and trying to free themselves. That is very important work. That is what this board does best. I absolutely support these moderators in the decisions they made.

Regular members here can help by recognizing and avoiding trolling behaviors which result in chaos or disruption. Don't get pulled into it. NOM has a special purpose, which is more important than squabbling. Thanks to our mods for all that they do. -- Wndr.
Last edited by Wonderment on Mon Mar 25, 2024 3:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Wonderment
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Wonderment » Mon Mar 25, 2024 3:51 pm

Yes, but I should know better than to offer bait. I got thinking about it several days ago and knew I had just given him more to go off about. And then instead of ignoring his rant and taking the conversation back to church topics, I reacted to his derailment. See, I am not always so good myself at those communication skills that I was trying to teach and let dirty fighting techniques derail the conversation.
Thank you for recognizing this. I'm hoping that everyone here, including me, will be as self-reflective and will avoid derailing the conversation.

Cnsl1
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Cnsl1 » Mon Mar 25, 2024 9:58 pm

Hagoth wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2024 5:19 am
alas wrote:
Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:10 pm
Yes, but I should know better than to offer bait. I got thinking about it several days ago and knew I had just given him more to go off about. And then instead of ignoring his rant and taking the conversation back to church topics, I reacted to his derailment. See, I am not always so good myself at those communication skills that I was trying to teach and let dirty fighting techniques derail the conversation.
I know, I did exactly the same thing a couple of months ago.
I was guilty as well.

Sorry ya'll.

I very much appreciate this forum.

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Hagoth
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Hagoth » Tue Mar 26, 2024 10:18 am

Wonderment wrote:
Mon Mar 25, 2024 3:44 pm
NOM has a special purpose, which is more important than squabbling.
Amen.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Linked
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by Linked » Tue Mar 26, 2024 11:39 am

Thanks RR, it was getting harder and harder to ignore comments unsuited for NOM and find the good ones. It's a tough call to silence someone, but in this case I think it was the right choice in order to keep NOM what it is.
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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2bizE
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by 2bizE » Wed Mar 27, 2024 3:15 pm

Yes, this should be a safe place. If someone has bad feelings toward any member of this circle, they should take them to mormondialogue.org. :)
~2bizE

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deacon blues
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Re: NOM needs to be a safe place

Post by deacon blues » Thu Mar 28, 2024 8:54 am

I support the decision, moderators. And thanks for all the time you spend on this board. At the same time I recall another disaffected Mormon site, it used to be Mormon Discussions, but the name was changed to something else. Anyway, they had a celestial forum for discussions that had decorum, a terrestrial forum for moderately expressed thoughts, and a telestial and outer darkness forums for the no holds barred, down and dirty posts.
I guess that would be one way to deal with the scalliwags. :D
Anyway thanks again moderators and managers. 8-)
God is Love. God is Truth. The greatest problem with organized religion is that the organization becomes god, rather than a means of serving God.

Lem
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Re: Dirty Bird has been asked to post elsewhere.

Post by Lem » Thu Mar 28, 2024 12:23 pm

Thanks a lot. Guess where he showed up after you showed him the door. :D
Last edited by Lem on Fri Mar 29, 2024 9:51 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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