NOM

Sorry to hear it friend. I don't have any words. Thinking of you.

It sounds like your mom passed out of this life in relative comfort. I'm glad you could at least be there.

Very sorry for your loss. It sounds as though it was an amazing experience. To be able to say your goodbyes and have the opportunity to plan a funeral she wanted.

I have gone through that longing for the church and the community- especially at times of loss. I can only speak from my point of view, that what you want the church to be and what it really is are two different things.

Give It Time wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 3:44 pm It must have been the spirit whispering to me to make two, that day.

That is so sweet. It is one thing to give digital condolences to those we want to comfort, but digital casseroles add a special emphasis. Add a tray of baklavas from me.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you're getting the support you need in real life, and of course take what you can from all of us in this virtual corner of life.

Regarding this,

achilles wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 1:36 pm I don't know what I believe anymore about the LDS afterlife. But I had a strong suspicion that I would see her again, so we must exist somehow after this? I know it's not very scientific, and maybe wishful thinking, but I'd really like to be reunited with her, my dad, and a literal pack of hounds (beagles, bassets, and a cocker spaniel).

I suspect my perspective of the world/universe is about as scientifically naturalistic as it gets, but I don't think science has anything you need right now in grieving for your mom. Use whatever works for you right now. Whatever gives you strength, helps you to help your dad, and provides meaning in your life--well, whatever that ends up being, seems priceless to me.

Wishing you comfort amigo,
Zack

((hugs)) achilles. It's hard to lose your mom. ((hugs))

I can feel this more than I normally would, as my niece went to the hospital with an aneurysm on Monday (serious brain damage they said), and was taken off life support today. Passed a few minutes later.

Hugs and condolences, Achilles. Your mom raised a good son.

It is so sad to have to say goodbye to our mothers.
Sorry you have joined this group. My mom died many years ago and I still often wish I could ask her a question on a regular basis.
I hope you find peace and feel the love from family and friends.

I'm so sorry, Achilles. ((Hugs))

Yesterday, my father and I visited the crematorium to see my mom. She was previously dressed by my sister in a beautiful white dress and the temple clothing. It was wonderful to see her and touch her (although she was cold from the freezer!) and say goodbye as she entered the chamber.

I'm just resting and thinking this morning. It is so surreal that she is gone. I think I'm beginning to realize that she has died and moved on to where ever we go when we die. We will have a memorial service for her next Friday evening. I hope to have a bit more closure then.

I'm thinking of you & your family-- during this time of transition. I've never lost anyone close to me. I don't really know what that is like --Yet.

Much love to you. <3

I am very sorry for your loss, Achilles! Hoping that time brings you comfort and peace. Much love to you and your family!

Sorry for your loss. May you find peace and hope through this all. IDK where my hope and faith about eternity are, but I suspect the death of a loved one would/will make me hope for truth in it all. Not in Mormon heaven, but in eternal existence of some kind.

Be patient with the COJCOLDS and its adherents in your family during this time. They are doing the best they can with their understanding.

achilles wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2017 1:36 pm
We visited a funeral home in Northern Utah to make arrangements. It was essentially an LDS church meeting house (you know, same carpet, same Greg Olsen paintings, same furniture, curtains that would fit right in at a temple). Like a few times before I felt...the Spirit? I felt peaceful. And I feel like I want that back in my life. But I know that the Church and I will probably never be in agreement about my sexual orientation, and I can't let them hurt me anymore. I don't know...

I am sorry for the rough times. There is no playbook for stuff like this.

I have at times felt what I thought might have been the spirit? too. The last time was, ironically, in church the other day. July 24th, they sang come come ye saints. I felt some stirrings, and it wasnt the woman in front of me with a sleeveless dress...
What I think I felt was a respect for my ancestors who walked across the plains. Sure they were sacrificing for some false advertised material. Sure, they could have stayed home and I would not have judged them any less. But the depth of their belief is something I respect. How many people go through life without a strong belief in anything? I think I was feeling that respect and recognition of some people who had done something hard, and stayed positive about it! That is awesome in my view. I was feeling that. I think you can still have that in your life, with or without the church. If you can do it with the church, attending at times you know will allow you to feel the spirit, do it! If you can find something else that also allows you to feel something similar, do it!

So sorry to hear about you mom Achilles... I know things were looking hopeful too. Glad you got to be there with her.
Wish I could scoop you and Mopag into a big hug.

I'm so sorry I'm just now reading this. ((Hugs Achilles)) So many, many hugs from me!

I know what you mean about feeling that they do live on. When I got to the hospital, the police wouldn't let me see my little boy's body. So the nurses took me to another room where I just howled and sobbed. After awhile I did feel like my sweet boy was there with me. I'll never forget that. In fact I cling to that hope. Not a hope for the LDS afterlife (I don't want to be chattel) but a place where the love we've shared and nurtured here on this earth is what connects us to each other.