How feasible is the middle way?

[moksha]

2. Tailor-made. You select the material, the weave, and have it fitted to your particular frame.

So your middle choice basically means that you determine your values and beliefs based on what you have learned throughout your life and which parts have resonated with you. Sounds workable for you through some hocus pocus or Jedi mind tricks, but what about the rest of us who feel we need to start afresh before we can begin to expand our horizons? Bet you didn't think of that, huh.

[jfro18]

Thanks to all for these responses!

I just spent a couple of days in the hospital so I won't have time to respond to everything, but I did read each of them and I love the different perspectives provided.

It seems my middle way will be a progressive edge towards out. DW would like me to tell each of our kids of my position in the church when the time is right. I am not quite sure what that time will be, but at least the door is open a little. The other issues will have to cross each bridge when the timing is right I suppose.

I hope you're doing OK now and recovering.

I have no advice on the middle way. I went for years with my wife and then I just started being unhappy there. It was a combination of (at the time) not being able to justify JS's history with polygamy and then from there it just made me start thinking about how if that can't be true none of it could be. The temple also really freaked me out, so that weighed heavily on me once that happened.

So I think for maybe 6-12 months I went while just being unhappy and my wife knew it. At some point we talked about it and that was when we basically decided I would stay home and she would go and we would basically just ignore that. It worked for a long time, but then with kids it puts a whole new level of angst on everything.

I guess for me the middle road changes - you just keep trying to find ways to make it work and on some issues a middle road can work and on others it can't. I'm not in the best state of mind right now, so who knows... I say just try to find a balance that makes your wife and kids happy and the outside stuff will work itself out. That might be simplifying things way too much, but I have come to a point where I realize I can't care anymore about what others think of me because I'm done lying about how I feel around it. That doesn't mean I come out guns blazing or try to start debates with anyone, but I'm not going to hide if asked about it either.

[MalcolmVillager]

Going on 5 years. I am on the slow burnout path. We live in the MorCor with almost 100% LDS friends and family.

I dream of ripping off the bandaid and slamming the door on the way out.

I fear getting discovered or possibly saying too much and getting pulled in to a court of love.

I am just letting it play its course. I don't want to shock anyone. I don't want to hurt anyone. I value my relationships! I protect them as much as possible.