NOM

First, a little about the first.

I chose five goals. If I were to list them for you, they'd probably sound familiar, but I wrote down my top five goals and decided to focus on those five as much as possible until they are achieved. Let me rephrase that. Ignore everything else as much as possible until the core goals are achieved.

There were two notable items that didn't make that list:

Find a new spiritual home
Make the church work for me in some way.

Frankly, I was surprised by this, but decided to forge ahead, anyway. Now, it's a little difficult living in Utah County and having Mormon family, but I managed to keep things at arm's length. I even took a complete break from all scripture, all church, all social media and most news media for thirty days. Let me tell you. It was lovely!

Know what I discovered? My spiritual home isn't outside of me and it certainly isn't in some religion. My spiritual home is inside of me.

As I said on another thread, I promised myself I'd check in after conference. As the time neared, the family drama ramped up with my sister wanting me to move to Portugal with her, my letting my siblings know I don't have a testimony as a way to let my sister know my moving to Portugal with her would not be a good idea. The subsequent emails and my sister-in-law asking if she and her adult son could move in with me and her not taking my first no's as an answer. I did give her a polite, clear, firm no. She gaslighted me in return, but took my no.

This kept me busy until the Thursday before conference and that's when I learned about Joseph Bishop. Naturally, with family and policy changes, the new prophet, the new ministering program, the church has been very much on my mind.

However, during this time away, I also took up a practice where if I complain, attached to that complaint needs to be something I am doing to solve that problem.

Here is my complaint: Elder Fool's statement about nonconsensual immorality.

I contemplated starting a thread, but decided distance was the better thing. Now that all the significant people in my life know where I stand, I can truly assess how involved I want to be with the church. Or if I want to be involved with the church. The church made a few baby steps in the right direction with sexual assault, but Elder Cook's comments--comments that were written well in advance and probably passed by a review committee--still managed to show what the mindset of at least one apostle--along with whomever reviewed his talk--is.

Rather than examine this and parse this from every angle and consider all the permutations, I'm going to do what I've been doing the last few months: step back and see what unfolds in my personal life as to how I handle this. Do I stay in the church? Do I leave? Do I go fully inactive? Do I attend as a vocal conscientious objector?

I don't know. I just know that it's time for me to stop complaining and decide how I'm going to solve this dissonance in my life.

I'm a little surprised by this turn of events and my taking another vision quest after having just returned from one. Then again, why am I surprised? It's the church, after all.

I plan to check in again after next conference.

It's been really nice having the brief catch up.

I do miss all of you and think of you when I'm gone.

Good luck, your sabbatical, like mine has done wonders.

My only advice, make sure you are caught up on This Is Us.

Until next conference...(God be with you till we meet again playing in the background)

Good luck GIT! May you find whatever it is you can't complain about!

I think I need to take a lesson here and back up and decide what I want to do about the fact that being out, but interested, with a TBM husband that I really can't talk to about the "non-consensual immorality" crap, leaves me in a painful limbo sometimes.

I tell myself that being active on some believing blogs gives me the opportunity to raise awareness of such issues with the people most likely to give a ^^%##}}#%%. But in trying to raise awareness, I have to ask myself if the pain is worth it?

NOM gives me a place to vent if I need it, and I really can't get very far away from the church with a believing husband and believing kids and grandkids. Other than giving up on the whole world and becoming a hermit, how far away from the church can I really get? I have already withdrawn from anything political and just ignore it all, but then I don't live with a Trump. Need to examine how to get further removed? Or how to put up better emotional barriers, so I don't have to keep reminding myself that the church can't hurt me any more.

Kermit the Hermit?

I've often thought a sabbatical would be mentally beneficial but ya'll are just too fun to hang out with. I learn more perspective on life here than I ever did in my parents home growing up. My kids and family benefit from my participating here by getting to hear my thoughts and often we have lively discussions around many perspectives you all bring to my attention.

Many of us will never meet in person but every time I travel to Utah I often wonder if the person standing in front of me at the grocery store or sitting in the pew in front of me is one of the wonderful NOMies I've interacted with here.

Rather than examine this and parse this from every angle and consider all the permutations, I'm going to do what I've been doing the last few months: step back and see what unfolds in my personal life as to how I handle this. Do I stay in the church? Do I leave? Do I go fully inactive? Do I attend as a vocal conscientious objector?

I don't know. I just know that it's time for me to stop complaining and decide how I'm going to solve this dissonance in my life.

I'm a little surprised by this turn of events and my taking another vision quest after having just returned from one. Then again, why am I surprised? It's the church, after all.

Congratulations on taking these positive steps to improve your life ! That is not easy, and you are to be commended for doing some serious thinking and decision-making, which is hard work. Please check in with us from time to time, and good for you for being so-proactive. - Wndr.

It's great to hear from you!!!

Red Ryder wrote: ↑Tue Apr 03, 2018 11:34 amI've often thought a sabbatical would be mentally beneficial but ya'll are just too fun to hang out with. I learn more perspective on life here than I ever did in my parents home growing up.

+1