What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

This is for encouragement, ideas, and support for people going through a faith transition no matter where you hope to end up. This is also the place to laugh, cry, and love together.
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Cadahangel
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What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by Cadahangel » Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:11 am

I have shared with this group my wife decided to join me and become Christian. This weekend she decided to tell her parents about our decision.

Were they understanding?:

MIL yes- She said that if that's what god is telling us to do then she supports it, and loves us all the same. She was a little underhanded saying that she hopes it leads us back lol
FIL no- He was a drama king telling us how we just made his life worthless and basically disowned us

Then yesterday this happens:
So my wife felt prompted to call my MIL and ask her if she was ok. She said no she wasn't okay and that she can't wait until my wife is no longer under the influence of Satan, and how dare she throw away her temple blessings, and her eternal family. She must not care much about her Family. So it seems the MIL didn't take it as well as she stated when we were there.

A little insight I have gained that I have yet to understand: For a religion that was and is persecuted and tries to preach to the rest of the church That they should be tolerated they produce some of the most intolerant people.

Now I am having to console my wife we lost her family and we are disowned and shunned. I haven't told my parents yet, but I fear more the same will happen. I love my wife, and I am glad I have her in my life. I will not let anyone destroy our journey with God.

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slavereeno
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by slavereeno » Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:19 am

I am very sorry to hear that things have gone this way for you.
Cadahangel wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:11 am
A little insight I have gained that I have yet to understand: For a religion that was and is persecuted and tries to preach to the rest of the church That they should be tolerated they produce some of the most intolerant people.
Well put.

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Red Ryder
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:57 am

They'll come around especially as you continue to do good works in your new church and they see the sparkle in your eyes.

Plus its not like you're giving up on Jesus.

That conversation is super fun when your parents start to worry you quit on Jesus too.

"No mom and dad, just mormon Jesus!"
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

Cadahangel
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by Cadahangel » Wed Jun 13, 2018 11:55 am

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:57 am
"No mom and dad, just mormon Jesus!"
This made me laugh :lol:

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oliver_denom
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by oliver_denom » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:30 pm

Cadahangel wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:11 am
A little insight I have gained that I have yet to understand: For a religion that was and is persecuted and tries to preach to the rest of the church That they should be tolerated they produce some of the most intolerant people.
It's all one way. They want it, but they don't want to give it.

Once their mourning process is over, they'll come back around eventually. This is specially true if grandchildren are involved. The church is no match for the draw of grand babies, and they'll want to be apart of their lives. Even if that's not the case, parental affection always wins in the end, unless there's some sort of mental illness involved.
“You want to know something? We are still in the Dark Ages. The Dark Ages--they haven't ended yet.” - Vonnegut

L'enfer, c'est les autres - JP

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alas
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by alas » Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:19 pm

slavereeno wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 8:19 am
I am very sorry to hear that things have gone this way for you.
Cadahangel wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:11 am
A little insight I have gained that I have yet to understand: For a religion that was and is persecuted and tries to preach to the rest of the church That they should be tolerated they produce some of the most intolerant people.
Well put.
That's why they were persecuted. They were so self righteous and intolerant that they were lousy neighbors. But they still don't get it.

IT_Veteran
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Location: California

Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by IT_Veteran » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:24 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:57 am
"No mom and dad, just mormon Jesus!"
This is my favorite thing this week.

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Hagoth
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by Hagoth » Thu Jun 14, 2018 5:34 am

It causes me so much pain to read stories like this. People rejecting their own children because they put more value in wacky fantasy than in their relationships with the most important people in their lives. I don't have much faith in an afterlife, but I like to visualize the moment when such people open their eyes on the other side of the veil and realize the pointless damage they have done, and hopefully that they have eternity to put it right.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Cadahangel
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UPDATE

Post by Cadahangel » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:07 am

So I reached out to my niece who is pagan for tips on how to reach out to my family about my choice. She says she will keep it secret. Then I get this text from my father: "I understand you think you have a new calling from God. You need to really think about where you are getting your revelation. I know you like the "born again" movement but you are being deceived.
You need to not mess with your brothers family he is really upset at you. What you choose to do is your business and you have agency. Just don't be part of the great deception."
He also sends me this: "You have your agency and I would never take that away but when you get on a new phase you over sell it. That just continues to divide the family. You are hard wired to sell what you believe in and you siblings don't like it. It is hurting you relationship with them. I don't discredit you desire to do good just be careful we have been down this road before."

I wish this wouldn't went down a different way for sure
I don't know what to do at this point

Kishkumen
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by Kishkumen » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:36 am

I'm sad to hear the update is not too positive.

1) If your niece is a minor and/or lives at home with her parents, nothing you tell her should be considered private. If she's an adult and/or not living at home, then her father getting upset is over the top.

2) Your father seems to be toxic at this point in time. The only advice I can offer is simply to not engage. It sucks. With a little bit of time, I could imagine your family acclimating and things getting better.

3) Chin up, keep on trucking. Be honest to yourself and spouse and don't worry about the rest

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MoPag
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Re: UPDATE

Post by MoPag » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:42 am

I'm so sorry they weren't supportive.
Cadahangel wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:11 am

MIL yes- She said that if that's what god is telling us to do then she supports it, and loves us all the same. She was a little underhanded saying that she hopes it leads us back lol
FIL no- He was a drama king telling us how we just made his life worthless and basically disowned us
After I read this I was worried for your MIL. I knew her semi supportive attitude would probably make FIL more angry. It looks like that might have been the case considering she changed her attitude pretty quickly.
Cadahangel wrote:
Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:07 am
He also sends me this: "You have your agency and I would never take that away but... <snip>
Wait...does he think he could take away your agency if he wanted to? :? :lol:

Keep hanging in there. The shock will wear off eventually.
...walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men’s lies...--Ezra Pound

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Red Ryder
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Re: What Happens when you tell the In-laws that your family is no more

Post by Red Ryder » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:48 am

Don't engage anymore.

Focus your spiritual energy on making you whole and completing your new spiritual journey.

Mormons are energy suckers!

The best way to engage is by living a happy and authentic life not worrying about mormon Jesus!
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

Cadahangel
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Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 1:10 pm

Re: UPDATE

Post by Cadahangel » Thu Jun 14, 2018 1:44 pm

MoPag wrote:
Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:42 am
I'm so sorry they weren't supportive.
Cadahangel wrote:
Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:11 am

MIL yes- She said that if that's what god is telling us to do then she supports it, and loves us all the same. She was a little underhanded saying that she hopes it leads us back lol
FIL no- He was a drama king telling us how we just made his life worthless and basically disowned us
After I read this I was worried for your MIL. I knew her semi supportive attitude would probably make FIL more angry. It looks like that might have been the case considering she changed her attitude pretty quickly.
Cadahangel wrote:
Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:07 am
He also sends me this: "You have your agency and I would never take that away but... <snip>
Wait...does he think he could take away your agency if he wanted to? :? :lol:

Keep hanging in there. The shock will wear off eventually.
Sadly yes he does believe he can do that

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