RubinHighlander wrote: ↑
Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:29 pm
Hagoth wrote: ↑
Wed Jul 11, 2018 2:21 pm
RubinHighlander wrote: ↑
Tue Jul 10, 2018 5:15 pm
...sometimes I feel guilt for not making an effort to try and help my TBMI'm in friends out of it, especially when I see them suffering from it.
So, you're saying that this sins of omission thing is a two-edged sword?
I know im late to the party but....the idea of sins of omission affects us and members even deeper than whats mentioned.
My wife chose to have an affair. 100% her choice. Yet upon learning about it, i was repeatedly and routinely asked what I could have done diffrent to prevent it? What were my short comings as a husband? Somehow, my "sins of omission", things i didnt/wasnt doing were seen as somehow providing justification fir her choice.
Was i a perfect husband? No, no one is. But only biweekly dates instead of weekly, or how i handled her anxiety, or the fact i was both working and going to school fulltime AND taking care of the kids, house ect in no way make her choice MY fault. But i was made to believe it was.
I was told by my father when what was happening came out after months of dealing with her lies and betrayals that divorce was ok ONLY if I've done everything i could do. He meant it as supportive, but there is ALWAYS something else you can do right? So you have to endure to the end, not declare it the end....
Mind you, mentally i was out by this point. But somehow the idea of "sins of omission" still held power over me because i wasnt perfect, could always do more and believed i couldn't/cant call it over despite the desire and reasons.
I think this is where love bombs come from. Why parents wail about children who leave--the concept of sins of omission teach us that THEY are to blame. If they had if been more friendly. More ridged. Gave more blessings, prayed more, ect they could have saved us. They share in our enternal damnation and are accountable for out fate.
When i was still in, i was working as a recrutier at a for profit school and had to renew my temple recomend (turned out to be the last time). When asked if i was "honest in your dealings with your fellow man" i thought of all the "omissions" i left out as part of my job. (Its a worthless degree. Your payments will be insanely prohibitive, ect) The "white lies" being in sales required me to tell (youll do great. Your the perfect match for this field.) I answered "i try"
The stake president looked right at me and said "honesty isnt something you "try". Your either honest, or your a liar, and if youre a liar you dont attend the lords house". What do you say to that?! While i got the recommend, i only used it a handful of times because within a year my shelf was gone. Must be a liar because no one is honest 100% of the time (looking back, i should have asked if that means he tells his wife she IS fat?) Even today, i feel if hells real i have a special place reaerved for me because of my "sins of omission" from working there.
The biggest irony of this is the biggest commiter of sins of ommision is the church itself. So much it leaves out, whitewashes, and spins. I get why--lying is basically trust rape; its about power over the other person. Lies of ommision "protect" that power, get you what you want. A convert, a sale, an affair. It isnt right, but it is human.
And you could have always done more; more dates, more effort, more preparation......both concepts have their limits though, but like all limits the church does a poor job of helping a person find them or accepting them.
Ill stop ranting now.
It's frustrating to see the last resort in a discussion of facts be: I disregard those facts because of my faith. Why even talk about facts if the last resort is to put faith above all facts that are contrary to your faith?