DS is getting hitched

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slavereeno
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DS is getting hitched

Post by slavereeno » Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:03 am

DS is getting hitched today, in the Temple. I have mixed feelings about this.

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Lithium Sunset
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by Lithium Sunset » Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:59 am

I'm sure you do.
I wouldn't be surprised to see a post from you on the "What are you drinking right now?" thread later. I'll look for it... haha...ha... sigh.

Hang in there.
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

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Angel
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by Angel » Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:32 am

Big hugs being sent your way!
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Red Ryder
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by Red Ryder » Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:56 am

On the bright side, at least you have the nifty pass to get in to see it.
Those who do not move do not notice their chains. —Rosa Luxemburg

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FiveFingerMnemonic
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by FiveFingerMnemonic » Fri Aug 10, 2018 12:57 pm

It is the cross you are to bear and the price of freedom and authenticity.

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Linked
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by Linked » Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:01 pm

Hang in there Slavereeno!

Congrats on the wedding!

Sorry it brings mixed feelings...
"I would write about life. Every person would be exactly as important as any other. All facts would also be given equal weightiness. Nothing would be left out. Let others bring order to chaos. I would bring chaos to order" - Kurt Vonnegut

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slavereeno
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by slavereeno » Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:02 pm

Red Ryder wrote:
Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:56 am
On the bright side, at least you have the nifty pass to get in to see it.
Yes, I did get the nifty pass. This made DW happy, also made my parents happy. I was glad to be there, but also a bit sad that that was where DS choose to be married, then I felt guilty for not just being happy for him.

The Good: A few of the ladies from our ward helped out with the luncheon and were a huge help to DW. They were very kind. I have spent all kinds of time as a YM leader with most of their kids, so maybe I earned some street cred? The food was great, my family was there, and good times were had by almost everyone.

The Bad: I felt guilty, really guilty most of the day. Guilty for not being "authentic" and going to the ceremony in the temple instead of making it my hill to die on and staying out. Guilty for all the time spent by these ward members who helped, and then having complained so much about church to DW. Guilty that DS and DIL asked me to be a witness but they know I no longer believe, did that take anything from them? Guilty that my dad pulled me aside and told me this was the culmination of my life's work to see my son get married in the temple with tears in his eyes. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

The ceremony was horrible. I don't know if they are being instructed to do so, but this is now the second one, done by a different officiator, and it was just awful. The little sermon before had not a damn thing to do with marriage. It was again all about the church and that the church was the only thing standing between them an a hellish existence and divorce. For example, (yes I sat there and listened and counted..)

Times the Groom's name was mentioned: 0
Times the Bride's name was mentioned: 0
Times the word Love was used: 0
Times the any of the words happiness, joy, caring, compromise, relationship, needs etc: 0
Times the Happy couple were mentioned: 0

Times Russel M Nelson "Even" the profit was mentioned: 1
Times the word Obedience was used: Effing 4!
Times the endowment was referenced: 3
Times the the Anointing was referenced: 2
Times the apostles and church were mentioned: 3

I had to sit there and concentrate on some of the decor just so I didn't keep rolling my eyes.
Last edited by slavereeno on Fri Aug 10, 2018 5:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IT_Veteran
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by IT_Veteran » Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:56 pm

Sorry that you had to deal with that. I am glad that you got to see him be married though. You're a more patient soul than I.

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StarbucksMom
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by StarbucksMom » Fri Aug 10, 2018 5:36 pm

Congratulations to your family. Aside from the (usually lame) temple ceremony, I hope it was a beautiful day.

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John G.
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by John G. » Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:00 am

slavereeno wrote:
Fri Aug 10, 2018 4:02 pm
Red Ryder wrote:
Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:56 am
On the bright side, at least you have the nifty pass to get in to see it.

The ceremony was horrible. I don't know if they are being instructed to do so, but this is now the second one, done by a different officiator, and it was just awful. The little sermon before had not a damn thing to do with marriage. It was again all about the church and that the church was the only thing standing between them an a hellish existence and divorce. For example, (yes I sat there and listened and counted..)

Times the Groom's name was mentioned: 0
Times the Bride's name was mentioned: 0
Times the word Love was used: 0
Times the any of the words happiness, joy, caring, compromise, relationship, needs etc: 0
Times the Happy couple were mentioned: 0

Times Russel M Nelson "Even" the profit was mentioned: 1
Times the word Obedience was used: Effing 4!
Times the endowment was referenced: 3
Times the the Anointing was referenced: 2
Times the apostles and church were mentioned: 3

I had to sit there and concentrate on some of the decor just so I didn't keep rolling my eyes.

Wow! I only went to one temple wedding before “work emergencies” prevented by travel back to Utah for my other sibling’s temple weddings. But, for the one I saw, it was weird of course, but what really stuck out was the semon/political rant that the ancient sealer gave at the end. It irritated me because if I wanted to listen to a Fox News right wing rant, I would have just watched Fox News!
"If your children are taught untruths on evolution in the public schools or even in our Church schools, provide them with a copy of President Joseph Fielding Smith's excellent rebuttal in his book Man, His Origin and Destiny."

Ezra Taft Benson

Reuben
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by Reuben » Sat Aug 11, 2018 10:49 am

When my wife and I got married, the sealer mostly talked about the importance of praying together as a couple. "It's hard to go to bed angry with someone you've just thanked God for and asked God to bless," he said. And you know, he was right.

Sealer roulette, I guess. Sometimes you get a good one, sometimes you get a far-right nut.
Grieve. It's your right and inheritance as a human being.

Tudor_Princess
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by Tudor_Princess » Wed Aug 15, 2018 11:15 pm

I haven't been to a sealing since my own 13 years ago. Thankfully we have a normal church wedding beforehand so I didn't feel cheated. I would have been utterly devastated if that was just my wedding. I don't remember much about it apart from feeling stupid in all the robes whilst the wedding guests were in normal clothes. And that I didn't speak once, it all just happened around me. Such a bizarre experience. Then an uncomfortable 2 hour ride back in my wedding dress. To think I sacrificed a proper wedding reception for that! At least you got to see it I guess.

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slavereeno
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Re: DS is getting hitched

Post by slavereeno » Thu Aug 16, 2018 6:06 am

Tudor_Princess wrote:
Wed Aug 15, 2018 11:15 pm
At least you got to see it I guess.
Thanks for responding. I suppose it was good that I got to see it. The whole experience seems to have re-kindled the angst between me and DW.

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