NOM

I was thinking the other day just how crazy some of all this in. I've been listening to Bill Reel on a few podcasts about the logical conclusions of some of the stuff in the bible and BOM and how it just doesn't all add up.

Anyway, according to bible literalists, the world is about 6,000 years old. This actually makes sense. 1000 mortal years = 1 day to God. Apparently God finished making this world and has left it alone for few days while making another world. Since it takes a week to make a world, he's probably currently on vacation, resting for a bit. I expect he'll show up again in a few hundred years to check on things. - Maybe a few extra hundred years if he misses his flight.

When he shows up again to check on things, he'll say something like "Oh my Me, I leave for 3 days and look at this place. Lucifer, what hast thou been doing here?"

The reason we don't hear from Mrs God is she is still at the resort for a few extra days with her sisterfriends while Mr God had to get back to work. I don't blame the poor Big Guy that we don't know much about Mrs God. Spending an eternity with several wives, all preggo or PMS-ing, and I need a break from them too. God probably likes it when he has the place to himself for a few days to just chill and experiment with a few new creations he had been working on.

We really need to keep things in perspective when criticizing God for being absent and Mrs God is unknown. Just give it a few thousands years and they'll get back to us.

Well..as a polygamist, he has to rotate homes right? Depending on how many sister wives there are we might not be back on the rotation for a while....

Anon70 wrote:Well..as a polygamist, he has to rotate homes right? Depending on how many sister wives there are we might not be back on the rotation for a while....

Yes, this is the problem. He impregnates a heavenly momma, smokes a Marlboro, packs his day bag with a fresh set of garments and robes, combs out his hair and beard, then leaves a note on the fridge that says, "God Blessed you!", and rotates to the next heavenly momma.

With a schedule like that, no wonder he doesn't do anything for humans besides kill the wicked, mame the masturbators, and find car keys. These days the poor old sap doesn't even speak to his prophets.

Here's what I don't get... We're taught in church from the time we're in primary that we should be like Jesus, who is identical to God. But, as I get older I think to myself "Why in the hell would I want to be like that guy?"

Case in point, RR's comment above:

With a schedule like that, no wonder he doesn't do anything for humans besides kill the wicked, mame the masturbators, and find car keys. These days the poor old sap doesn't even speak to his prophets.

So, I'm a dad irl. I have both flavors of kids. One of my DDs is a mid-teenaged, high-functioning disabled person. All of the girls her age in our ward are now driving, dating, cheerleading, sportsing, CE and honors class taking, normal average kids. So here is my DD and the reality is that her lot in life is to look around her and UNDERSTAND and FULLY COMPREHEND that every kid her age in her school class is better at literally everything. EVERYTHING.

From simply walking, to school work, to social relationships, to talking, to processing information. She struggles with everything.

Just today she was bawling when she came home from school and she said "No one would care if I died. I hate myself and my disabilities."

As a Dad, that is a though thing to hear. As a Dad, I guarantee I would do ANYTHING just to have my daughter be average at something in her life so she could feel normal. And I tell you, it tears my heart apart to know I can't do anything to fix her disabilities.

Watching my little girl suffer and struggle daily from the time she became self-aware has changed my thoughts on God. If there is a Mormon God, when I meet him I'm going to walk up and knee him right in the celesticles and say, "This is for my daughter. Screw you, I'll see myself out."

"Pure Mormon Doctrine" would say a person with disabilities would have been less valiant in the premarital life. Just like people born with black skin. Our status and condition in this life is directly tied to being blessed in the premortal life.

Such a petty God.

* Spelling correction. Apparently my iphone doesnt speak Mormon (premieres instead of premortal)

w2mz wrote:[Watching my little girl suffer and struggle daily from the time she became self-aware has changed my thoughts on God. If there is a Mormon God, when I meet him I'm going to walk up and knee him right in the celesticles and say, "This is for my daughter. Screw you, I'll see myself out."

Celesticles!

You won't be the first nor the last.

Korihor wrote:"Pure Mormon Doctrine" would say a person with disabilities would have been less valiant in the premarital life. Just like people born with black skin. Our status and condition in this life is directly tied to being blessed in the premiers life.

Such a petty God.

I always thought the disabled were so righteous that they inherited a disabled body because they wouldn't need to be tested the same way. Mainly to get a body. Maybe I'm just thinking of Down syndrome or something else. What a strange doctrine we once believed.

w2mz wrote:So, I'm a dad irl. So here is my DD and the reality is that her lot in life is to look around her and UNDERSTAND and FULLY COMPREHEND that every kid her age in her school class is better at literally everything. EVERYTHING.

Just today she was bawling when she came home from school and she said "No one would care if I died. I hate myself and my disabilities."

This sounds like a job for Philosophy Dad! Pull on those tights, a cape, and let her know that defining herself based on others is not what she should be doing. When you have a different drummer, the march needs to be to that cadence and watching others march to their beat only throws your off your own life's march. There will always be those greater and lesser than ourselves and they all have a right to be here and at the great banquet afterward.

Red Ryder wrote: I always thought the disabled were so righteous that they inherited a disabled body because they wouldn't need to be tested the same way. Mainly to get a body.

Yeah, I heard this for disabilities as well. It's become some sort of micro-urban legend that some GA somewhere sometime not too long ago that "my sister's best friend's cousin's neighbor's old school buddy's snuffleupagus" knew said so while giving a blessing to some poor kid. People who disagreed strongly tried to question the source of information, but you know how those things go.