Search found 2333 matches

by alas
Mon Feb 19, 2024 7:25 pm
Forum: Doctrinal Discussion
Topic: Looking back....
Replies: 10
Views: 627

Re: Looking back....

Excellent point. Our society recognizes it is unfair for 8 year olds to make an adult decision, but the Church baptizes them and then Bednar tells them they are obligated for eternity. It is so manipulative. :cry: And the covenants we make as adults, or late teens, we are not told what they are ahe...
by alas
Mon Feb 19, 2024 7:18 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Question on Mormon Cooking
Replies: 19
Views: 465

Re: Question on Mormon Cooking

Mormon food tends to be bland because so many early converts were from New England. I mean, all 6 of my “crossed the plains in a covered wagon or hand cart” ancestors were from New England. And that is all the ancestors I have in that generation. From the “overseas” converts, the biggest group was E...
by alas
Mon Feb 19, 2024 7:12 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Question on Mormon Cooking
Replies: 19
Views: 465

Re: Question on Mormon Cooking

I have Mormon cooking questions, too. 1) do you have recommended cooking wines? I need to get some that aren’t the kind from the Utah grocery store loaded with salt. 2) Is it okay to bring a good tiramisu to a ward function? 3) is it still a thing to add ground up pinto beans to zucchini bread? See...
by alas
Mon Feb 12, 2024 4:02 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: The church and Equal Rights for women
Replies: 15
Views: 431

Re: The church and Equal Rights for women

I find it odd that few women called to the general boards of primary, Relief Society and Young Women are the stay-at-home moms that the church has proclaimed women should be. They do not follow the prescribed path. The Second Wives Club does not seem to fit the model either. That is an interesting ...
by alas
Sun Feb 11, 2024 4:56 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Rule #2 I statements. I am going to break this up a little differently, into 3 parts. Above I only mentioned 2 parts, then had an interruption and didn’t get back, and yesterday I was essentially gone all day. But “I statements” have two necessary parts and one optional but very helpful part. A The ...
by alas
Fri Feb 09, 2024 4:56 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

So, back to communications. There are other dirty fighting techniques, and Mayan is correct to name passive aggressive. Women are probably best at passive aggressive. You have all see the jokes going around about what your wife means when she says, “go right ahead and do what you want.” As the guy i...
by alas
Fri Feb 09, 2024 3:42 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

I have been thinking about what to tell Angel about not trusting feelings. This is really quite common in the mental health world. The cure for it depends on the reason for it. Some people take it so far they stop having feelings and become kind of like Mr. Spock. They operate as much as possible f...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 11:52 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Alright, I will kind of aim the discussions at how to talk to your still believing family, since I hope none of you are involved in things like domestic violence or some of the other crap I worked with. :shock: So, the first part of communication is understanding the other person, so, we will start...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 11:03 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

And sorry to be only getting to this every other day or so. I thought that because I am sitting around so much after surgery, that I would have time. But it takes both time and not being in so much pain that I don’t want to deal with it. As I start trying to walk again, I find I am in more pain tha...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 5:32 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

In my lifetime, the boundaries of the individual states have not changed. Though, the relations and terms by which states interact has changed. I get your point, though I am not convinced that "boundaries" is even close to an appropriate metaphor. Asking a child to be the parent has nothing whatsoe...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 4:56 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: The church and Equal Rights for women
Replies: 15
Views: 431

Re: The church and Equal Rights for women

Can someone please remind me of the church’s stance on ERA from the 1970s and if the stance has changed since then? I haven't researched it and my credit card was declined at the holiday inn but from what I remember the opposition was something along the lines of: 1) Women are already equals, they ...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 4:44 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

And sorry to be only getting to this every other day or so. I thought that because I am sitting around so much after surgery, that I would have time. But it takes both time and not being in so much pain that I don’t want to deal with it. As I start trying to walk again, I find I am in more pain than...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 4:40 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

I have been thinking about what to tell Angel about not trusting feelings. This is really quite common in the mental health world. The cure for it depends on the reason for it. Some people take it so far they stop having feelings and become kind of like Mr. Spock. They operate as much as possible fr...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 3:29 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Mayan, part of teaching boundaries is teaching people to verbalize or otherwise inform their family, co-worker, neighbor, wife, whatever, about their boundaries. Just like the US needs to inform Mexico to extradite criminals back into the US so they can be prosecuted or any other agreement we want t...
by alas
Tue Feb 06, 2024 2:16 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: The church and Equal Rights for women
Replies: 15
Views: 431

Re: The church and Equal Rights for women

The church would most likely come out against anything that legally required women to be treated equally. They have a habit of opposing rights being given to any group they personally discriminate against. In spite of religious freedom declaring that religions have perfect freedom to discriminate ag...
by alas
Sun Feb 04, 2024 1:23 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Mayan, you said that people don’t have physical borders. What do you think your skin is? And just like nations use space around them and over them where they are allowed to shoot down or sink any air plain or ship, and areas where it would cause a war, people have space where others are not allowed ...
by alas
Thu Feb 01, 2024 4:03 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Back to the idea of feelings telling us stuff. First point is that like logic, emotions are only as accurate as the information they are based on. So, garbage in, garbage out. The trigger may not be accurately interpreted. Or, you may have some faulty beliefs that lead to faulty feelings. Now, some ...
by alas
Thu Feb 01, 2024 3:09 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Both of you are thinking, which is good. There is only benefit in revisiting the past if there is stuff we need to learn, or sort out, or figure out why it is still hurting us. Say, we learned some crap in our abusive childhood. Well, then there is a real advantage in looking at it and figuring out ...
by alas
Mon Jan 29, 2024 9:23 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: How do you define Mormonism?
Replies: 51
Views: 4697

Re: How do you define Mormonism?

I have also seen TBM member do things that helped. One friend knew a woman was in an abusive marriage. The elder’s quorum told the men not to help her move out f the house as she was going against the bishop’s advice to stay with her temple marriage. He was the only man who showed up to help her ge...
by alas
Mon Jan 29, 2024 9:15 pm
Forum: Support
Topic: Communication skills
Replies: 58
Views: 3119

Re: Communication skills

Mayan, you have steps that I was lumping together. Trigger, leads to emotion, leads to controlled or uncontrolled reaction. To try to keep things simpler, I was just looking at the set as a whole. Yes, in writing the whole book, you are correct. But for here, I am trying to cover lots of material in...