Is it ever Enough?

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Enough 2.0
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Nov 29, 2021 12:37 pm

Is it ever Enough?

Post by Enough 2.0 » Tue Nov 30, 2021 5:01 pm

Hi NOM! I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been since I last posted…. Probably 4 or 5 years. I would be back as “Enough” but I literally cannot remember the email address OR the password that I used to set up my original account. I cannot see a way to recover my old account, so I am “Enough 2.0” for the moment. (Admins — if there is a way, please let me know! I had a post or two to my credit, and I’d love to be Enough again!) :D

I’m not even sure where to start with the re-cap of the last few years… why I left…why I’m back… all that stuff! So, I guess I will just start where I am now — especially for those who weren’t around in 2012-2016ish (I think those were my main years here).

I am the 5th of 10 children —- all of whom (and our parents, too) went to BYU. Suffice it to say, I come from a VERY VERY orthodox LDS family. My 5 sisters are all still TBM. My 4 brothers and I are all somewhere on the disaffected/out of the church spectrum. (Does anyone remember an “event a few years ago where a guy organized a thing for everyone to post a paper of facts a la Martin Luther style??? That was my brother). I still scratch my head on a regular basis and wonder how it is that (most) of the WOMEN in the family are the devout ones… seems to me that it is a nicer place for men, but what do I know???

I actually started my “investigating” (journey into the rabbit hole/abyss) n 1997 — in the local library — before internet was really a thing! It’s amazing how far the church has/hasn’t come in the last 24 years!! I “left” the church in 1999, but promptly returned (like 2 weeks later; story for another day). It has been a roller coaster ride ever since.

I have been married to my true blue (very BYU blue) TBM DH for almost 30 years. We’ve been through a lot — between my leaving, return, disaffection, inactivity, activity, inactivity… but I am happy to report that we have been in a happy place for the last 5 years or so. Maybe it was when we quit trying to change each other’s viewpoint and testimony (or lack thereof) that I left NOM. It’s funny how “apostates” do not need secret support groups when we actually feel heard and (mostly) accepted!!

I have 5 kiddos. My oldest is now an attorney in SLC and just had gender reassignment surgery last month (male-to-female). Suffice it to say, that has been a challenging situation for everyone involved. (She is 26 now, and has identified as L,G,T, B, Q, AND A … at some point in the last 10 years. Overall, I think it has helped my TBM DH and other TBM family members (and me, too, frankly) learn how to LOVE a whole lot better!! My 2nd child is a music teacher (not active in the church). My daughter (age 21) is marginally active. My 4th is currently serving a mission in Cameroon Africa (more stories for another day). And my youngest (15 year old son) is on the Autism Spectrum — (high functioning… doing really well(. I never thought (when I had 5 children) that I would only have ONE that would serve a mission… but here we are. (And one is enough. It is stressful!)

As for my faith journey… I’ve felt pretty peaceful about how I do (or don’t do) church over the past 5 years. I’ve been all over the place in terms of level of activity. COVID (no church) was a really nice break, I’m not going to lie. I currently teach RS (every 2 months), which I really like…. I get to choose the conference talks that I teach & I love bringing some “new” ideas to the ladies in my Ward. I guess you could say that it is my way of “giving back”! :lol: I am finding, however, after the break from COVID, I am starting to plunge into the less peaceful part of my “cycle.” Over the last 24 years, it seems that I cycle about every 7 years or so…. From being pretty well able to handle Mormon culture, SM talks, callings, etc…. And then…. Not so much for a while.

So, that is why I am back here. I need an outlet. I don’t feel the same level of need for anonymity that I did when I first joined NOM in 2012 (I’m much more open about my beliefs, attitudes, etc. now) … Back in 1997, the ONLY website/support group was ex-mo…. Now there are so many!! But, truth be told— over all these years, I haven’t found another “Tribe” like NOM out there in internet-land. I was pretty stoked to see so many familiar faces STILL HERE!! I thought I wouldn’t recognize anyone when I came back!

I’ve missed you. <3

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Red Ryder
Posts: 3820
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 5:14 pm

Re: Is it ever Enough?

Post by Red Ryder » Wed Dec 01, 2021 1:06 pm

Enough 2.0 wrote:
Tue Nov 30, 2021 5:01 pm
Hi NOM! I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been since I last posted…. Probably 4 or 5 years. I would be back as “Enough” but I literally cannot remember the email address OR the password that I used to set up my original account. I cannot see a way to recover my old account, so I am “Enough 2.0” for the moment. (Admins — if there is a way, please let me know! I had a post or two to my credit, and I’d love to be Enough again!) :D
Check your PM’s
As for my faith journey… I’ve felt pretty peaceful about how I do (or don’t do) church over the past 5 years. I’ve been all over the place in terms of level of activity. COVID (no church) was a really nice break, I’m not going to lie. I currently teach RS (every 2 months), which I really like…. I get to choose the conference talks that I teach & I love bringing some “new” ideas to the ladies in my Ward. I guess you could say that it is my way of “giving back”! :lol: I am finding, however, after the break from COVID, I am starting to plunge into the less peaceful part of my “cycle.” Over the last 24 years, it seems that I cycle about every 7 years or so…. From being pretty well able to handle Mormon culture, SM talks, callings, etc…. And then…. Not so much for a while.

So, that is why I am back here. I need an outlet. I don’t feel the same level of need for anonymity that I did when I first joined NOM in 2012 (I’m much more open about my beliefs, attitudes, etc. now) … Back in 1997, the ONLY website/support group was ex-mo…. Now there are so many!! But, truth be told— over all these years, I haven’t found another “Tribe” like NOM out there in internet-land. I was pretty stoked to see so many familiar faces STILL HERE!! I thought I wouldn’t recognize anyone when I came back!

I’ve missed you. <3
We’ve discussed this in depth within our NOM group of guys. There’s not many people who understand the emotional nuance and brain damage we go through giving up our belief in LDS Inc. People just don’t understand unless they’ve been through it too.

Glad to see you back and can’t wait to hear more.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy

“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

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DPRoberts
Posts: 378
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 6:48 pm

Re: Is it ever Enough?

Post by DPRoberts » Wed Dec 01, 2021 3:07 pm

Another prodigal has returned! We have had a good influx of old time nommies lately.

So good to have you back on the board. You bring a lot to our community.
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease to be mistaken or cease to be honest. -anon
The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world. -Max Born

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moksha
Posts: 4541
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 4:22 am

Re: Is it ever Enough?

Post by moksha » Wed Dec 01, 2021 8:09 pm

Welcome back!
Good faith does not require evidence, but it also does not turn a blind eye to that evidence. Otherwise, it becomes misplaced faith.
-- Moksha

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Hagoth
Posts: 6420
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 1:13 pm

Re: Is it ever Enough?

Post by Hagoth » Thu Dec 02, 2021 3:07 pm

I'm so glad to see you here again, Enough!
I also have a Transgender child who has made a male > female transition. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it.
“The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” -Mark Twain

Jesus: "The Kingdom of God is within you." The Buddha: "Be your own light."

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Emower
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 10:35 pm
Location: Carson City

Re: Is it ever Enough?

Post by Emower » Thu Dec 02, 2021 5:47 pm

You might have been on the tail end of posting when I got involved here, but I will say that some of your posts were helpful. So thanks for being around. I have been at real peace with life for the last 3-4 years. The phoenix NOMs got me through a lot, and now I am enjoying the fruits of their labors and advice which was find a different hobby. I quit NOM for a while but lately I have been kind of missing this board as well. It is funny how the connections that are made here are some pretty enduring ones. As Red Ryder has said, there is no one who is capable of understanding as completely the depth of emotions and the types of emotions we go through. Good to see you again.

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