Discussions about negotiating relationships between faithful LDS believers and the apostates who love them. This applies in particular to mixed-faith marriages, but relations with children, parents, siblings, friends, and ward members is very welcome.
I just wanted to give a quick update as to the status of the HIPS family.
My TBM wife and I have really come into a nice balance. I still attend church and hold a calling to support her and our relationship. But she actively accepts me for the heretic. It really feels like we have turned a corner and our marriage is truly about us and not the church.
Also my youngest RM son got married a little while back to a wonderful young woman. Yeah HIPS family! Interestingly they didn't get married in the temple, and he just came out to his mom that he wasn't planning on being active in church now that he is married. Both he and his wife are on the same page as to this. I am so happy that they can be in the same place as to faith, regardless of where that journey takes them.
Mom took the news quite well. She had suspected it was coming for a while, so it wasn't a total shock.
Did your wife ever "blame" you or suspect you of subversively derailing your kids testimony? My wife is going to be crushed and blame me if/when the kids don't get married in the temple. It's her validation as a mother that she raised them right if they served missions, and married in the temple.
My bar is much lower. I just hope they will eventually move out and be functional self sustaining kind humans.
“It always devolves to Pantaloons. Always.” ~ Fluffy
“I switched baristas” ~ Lady Gaga
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg
Red Ryder wrote:I love updates! You've been missed HIPS.
Did your wife ever "blame" you or suspect you of subversively derailing your kids testimony? My wife is going to be crushed and blame me if/when the kids don't get married in the temple. It's her validation as a mother that she raised them right if they served missions, and married in the temple.
My bar is much lower. I just hope they will eventually move out and be functional self sustaining kind humans.
Fortunately, Red Ryder, my wife didn't blame me. But I know somewhere deep in her heart she wishes that all of her boys could just come on back into the tent and ignore all of the historical issues. As of now, me and my two sons are nonbelievers in mormonism, while she and our two daughters continue faithful.
I have compassion for our wives. There is a big stigma that mormons unconsciously lay upon each other and themselves when their children choose a different path. It is real and palpable.
Your wife is lucky to have you and support her if and when something like this happens in your family.
HIPS-I'm so glad to hear that your wife took that well.
The last couple of years have been brutal for my mil. Her son left the church, and then another child came out as gay and got divorced after 25 years and many kids. I'm pretty sure she's still reeling. I do have a lot of empathy for how she must feel, but that pain stems from her belief in the LDS church not reality. In fact, a lot of pain was caused to the LGBT child (and their spouse and children) that could have been avoided without the interference of the LDS church.
Women really are taught to value themselves on their ability to keep kids on the Mormon plan. My friends are the age to have teens these days, and it's brutal and awful to see them beat themselves up being of such an unfair and inaccurate rating scale.
HIPS.... I am so glad you are here and that I can contribute also. I have missed you so much. You'll never know of the times I have thought of you and wanted to share something with you and my NOM friends. Thankfully this group either doesn't know about my 'banned for life' status or doesn't care, so once again I am with my friends and fellow travelers along the road of life.
Good to hear from you, HIPS. So glad that things are going well in your family.
When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either cease to be mistaken or cease to be honest. -anon
The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world. -Max Born
Zadok wrote:HIPS.... I am so glad you are here and that I can contribute also. I have missed you so much. You'll never know of the times I have thought of you and wanted to share something with you and my NOM friends. Thankfully this group either doesn't know about my 'banned for life' status or doesn't care, so once again I am with my friends and fellow travelers along the road of life.
Zadok. I am so glad that you are here. I agree with your description of Reddit. I like it. But you can develop more of a conversation and relationships here. But to each his/her own.
GoodBoy wrote:I'm glad to see you back HiPS. I didn't recognize you without your avatar. I'm curious about the meaning of your new one...
Hey GoodBoy. I started a thread about avatars a few days back and explained it there. But I took this picture this past summer from my house when a storm came through and just like it. So I went with something I like and it doesn't have any meaning more than that.
