Forgotten Whoppers

[Brent]

No, not the kind you find in the folded dark recesses of the pew but, the kind that just suddenly pop into your head and you wish you knew then what you know now.

Feel free to add to the list.

"Read it! Could a fourteen year old boy have written the Book of Mormon?" Answer: NO. He was at least 22.

[moksha]

Burger King of Orem, Utah once unveiled its LDS Whopper which consisted of a layered combination of burger, funeral potatoes, a square of green Jell-O, ham, cheese, and mayonnaise on a sesame bun. This Whopper is now largely forgotten.

[Palerider]

"Satan created the Spaulding manuscript to give us an imitation of the real scripture, the Book of Mormon and to create doubts in our minds. And furthermore in no way does it resemble the BofM story....."

From Spaulding's Manuscript Found:

Within this cavity I found an earthen box with a cover which shut it perfectly tight. The box was two feet in length one and half in breadth and one and three inches in diameter. My mind filled with awful sensations which crowded fast upon me (( and )) would hardly permit my hands to remove this venerable deposit, but curiosity soon gained the ascendancy (( and )) the box was taken and raised to open (( its cover. )) When I had removed the cover I found that it contained twenty-eight (( rolls )) of parchment; and that when (( examined )) appeared to be manuscripts written in elegant hand with ROMAN letters and in the Latin Language. They were written on a variety of subjects. But the roll which principally attracted my attention contained a history of the author's life and that part of America which extends along the Great Lakes and the waters of the Mississippi. Extracts of the most interesting and important matters contained in this roll I take the liberty to publish. Gentle Reader, tread lightly on the ashes of the venerable dead. Thou must know that this country was once inhabited by great and powerful nations, considerably civilized and skilled in the arts of war; and that on ground where thou (( now )) treadest many a bloody battle hath been fought, and heroes by thousands have been made to bite the dust.”

[Give It Time]

Burger King of Orem, Utah once unveiled its LDS Whopper which consisted of a layered combination of burger, funeral potatoes, a square of green Jell-O, ham, cheese, and mayonnaise on a sesame bun. This Whopper is now largely forgotten.

I was hoping someone would mention Burger King's whopper. Kudos for making it quitessentially Mormon.

My whoppers aren't forgotten. They're ignored. Here is a link to one. Within that link is a link to another. Just pull those threads and, before long, the whole thing unravels.


viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2334

[2bizE]

Would the sword of Laban actually have fit in that stone box?

[RubinHighlander]

One word change the COB made in the BOM:

"were destroyed, except the Lamanites, and they are the principal ancestors of the American Indians."

Cause of much cogdis. Really felt like an admission of guilt over false doctrine going back to JS and killed whatever mental gymnastics I had left to fend off the mounting DNA evidence against the BOM's premise.

[RubinHighlander]

The 7k year old Earth - pieced together from other worlds?

Well, it was ironic or maybe iconic that it was organized into nice sedimentary layers that tell a pretty clear story of billions of years of evolution.

[blazerb]

"Read it! Could a fourteen year old boy have written the Book of Mormon?" Answer: NO. He was at least 22.

For that matter, he did not write it. He dictated it, which is a very different process, cognitively speaking.

[moksha]

Burger King of Orem, Utah once unveiled its LDS Whopper which consisted of a layered combination of burger, funeral potatoes, a square of green Jell-O, ham, cheese, and mayonnaise on a sesame bun. This Whopper is now largely forgotten.

Ha! If you have bothered to pay attention in Gospel Doctrine class just one iota, you would know that the condiment was fry sauce rather than mayonnaise. Plain mayonnaise may look white, but without the other added ingredients it cannot be delightsome!!!

[wtfluff]

The 7k year old Earth - pieced together from other worlds?

Ah, yes... One of my faves. SPACE JUNK!

[Hagoth]

Polygamy was just a way of taking care of women widowed by persecution.

[RubinHighlander]

[Corsair]

In the 20th century, the year 2000 was a likely date of the Second Coming of Jesus. The Millenarianism of the 20th century arose from the year 2000 being obviously the start of the seventh of the thousand year dispensations. Concerns about the End Times certainly were in LDS culture since the end of World War II.

[RubinHighlander]

LittleFactory.JPG (36.43 KiB) Viewed 13789 times

[slavereeno]

DW had an uncle that resigned because he found out about this stone. I was assured that he had been taken in by satanic anti-mormon lies about this rock in the hat. Then the church released photos of the rock in 2015, I wouldn't even read the ensign article about it at the time. Frankly, at that moment I knew it was only a matter of time before the shelf broke. I continued to go through the motions for another year and a half with the old shelf creaking under the strain of the cogdis every Sunday.

[slavereeno]

RubinHighlander,

Holy Hekk, that brings back some super icky memories!

[alas]

LittleFactory.JPG

Yeah. That is one whopper that is too big to eat. When my daughter first came out to us, I happened to mention it to the bishop because DH was not taking it as well as hoped. He gave me that piece of crap, but said, "for what it is worth, I am supposed to give this to parents with gay children." His use of the word gay, pretty much told me which side he was on. I did as he suggested and read it---with my blue pen in hand. I corrected things that were factually incorrect, where psychology knows better, and outright lies. There was more blue ink in the margins and over top or between lines than there was the black ink it was printed in. Later, I told the bishop that I had corrected it according to my background in psychology, and he just laughed. He asked if he could see the corrected version and I told him that bishops should not be reading such evil speaking of the lords anointed. He just laughed and said, that if he wasn't bishop, he would have to agree with me, but as bishop, he does what the church tells him. Good guy.

[Hagoth]

"for what it is worth, I am supposed to give this to parents with gay children."

Did he then direct you to the talk that this was taken from, where Packer congratulates a missionary for beating up his gay companion because it wouldn't be becoming of an apostle to do it?

[RubinHighlander]

The mark of Cain

[Hagoth]

The mark of Cain

And Spencer Kimball's retelling of Heber Kimball's Cain-is-Bigfoot story.