Welcome to NOM!notforprophet wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:42 pmWhile your directive was not for me, I did as you suggested. I am most of the way through the book (taking the time to go check the appendices is making it a longer read) and I am loving it. Thank you so much for this suggestion!Hermey wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:24 pm Welcome! Now, sit down, relax, and breathe. You're gonna be okay.
Get online and order this book. It'll help. Read it before you do much else. You need to make sense of and unwind twenty or thirty years of indoctrination.
New to NOM. Need help.
- Fifi de la Vergne
- Posts: 288
- Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 8:56 am
Re: New to NOM. Need help.
Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous Yes to one's own true being.
- notforprophet
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2018 8:09 pm
Re: New to NOM. Need help.
Thank you!
God is either all powerful or all good.
I have yet to hear an explanation on how he can be both.
- Lex Luthor
I have yet to hear an explanation on how he can be both.
- Lex Luthor
Re: New to NOM. Need help.
Glad you are enjoying it!notforprophet wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:42 pmWhile your directive was not for me, I did as you suggested. I am most of the way through the book (taking the time to go check the appendices is making it a longer read) and I am loving it. Thank you so much for this suggestion!Hermey wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:24 pm Welcome! Now, sit down, relax, and breathe. You're gonna be okay.
Get online and order this book. It'll help. Read it before you do much else. You need to make sense of and unwind twenty or thirty years of indoctrination.
-
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- Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:54 pm
Re: New to NOM. Need help.
I can relate to so much of your struggle. My husband is aware of many of the issues and agrees that they are issues, but is adamant that the problems don't outweigh the good that the church does and is in his life.
The difficulty for me is that I am very angry at being deceived for so long and at some of the changes to my life such as being a stay-at-home parent for many years while being depressed and miserable that would not have happened had I been free to even think about what I would like to have done with my life. One thing that comes up for us is that people who are members relate so closely with the church and that when someone questions the church was angry at the church they feel that their spouse is angry at them. Helping my husband understand that I am not angry with him but I am angry with the system that I was forced into has helped him be more understanding of my journey.
What is difficult right now is that the church seems to be retrenching rather than progressing. I believe I could continue to stay engaged if there were any sign that the church truly does want to be honest and transparent and respectful of diversity. However it's clear that they have no such intention. And my case I also don't doubt that my mother-in-law would attempt to destroy my marriage so that my husband could retain his eternal blessings without me dragging him down. I believe this is part of the reason why he won't consider thinking the church is not true until his parents have died. Of course this is just my speculation.
My husband is an incredible man, an amazing professional and academic, and a wonderful father. After some rocky time it's clear that he loves me more than his idea of a perfect Mormon family. That doesn't mean that it's always easy to be in the middle of a mixed Faith marriage.
If you feel the need to try to stay engaged with the church there is a group on Facebook called a thoughtful faith that is focused on people with unconventional beliefs staying in tune by participating in the LDS version of the Gospel. This page was useful to me as a transition point but I personally feel I've outgrown it.
The difficulty for me is that I am very angry at being deceived for so long and at some of the changes to my life such as being a stay-at-home parent for many years while being depressed and miserable that would not have happened had I been free to even think about what I would like to have done with my life. One thing that comes up for us is that people who are members relate so closely with the church and that when someone questions the church was angry at the church they feel that their spouse is angry at them. Helping my husband understand that I am not angry with him but I am angry with the system that I was forced into has helped him be more understanding of my journey.
What is difficult right now is that the church seems to be retrenching rather than progressing. I believe I could continue to stay engaged if there were any sign that the church truly does want to be honest and transparent and respectful of diversity. However it's clear that they have no such intention. And my case I also don't doubt that my mother-in-law would attempt to destroy my marriage so that my husband could retain his eternal blessings without me dragging him down. I believe this is part of the reason why he won't consider thinking the church is not true until his parents have died. Of course this is just my speculation.
My husband is an incredible man, an amazing professional and academic, and a wonderful father. After some rocky time it's clear that he loves me more than his idea of a perfect Mormon family. That doesn't mean that it's always easy to be in the middle of a mixed Faith marriage.
If you feel the need to try to stay engaged with the church there is a group on Facebook called a thoughtful faith that is focused on people with unconventional beliefs staying in tune by participating in the LDS version of the Gospel. This page was useful to me as a transition point but I personally feel I've outgrown it.
- slavereeno
- Posts: 1247
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2017 8:30 am
- Location: QC, AZ
Re: New to NOM. Need help.
For what its worth, I can relate exactly to this...Thoughtful wrote: ↑Sat Jan 20, 2018 2:44 pm I can relate to so much of your struggle. My husband is aware of many of the issues and agrees that they are issues, but is adamant that the problems don't outweigh the good that the church does and is in his life.
- notforprophet
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2018 8:09 pm
Re: New to NOM. Need help.
Finished it. Loved it. It led me to Studies of the Book of Mormon from BH Roberts research notes.Hermey wrote: ↑Sat Jan 20, 2018 9:57 amGlad you are enjoying it!notforprophet wrote: ↑Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:42 pmWhile your directive was not for me, I did as you suggested. I am most of the way through the book (taking the time to go check the appendices is making it a longer read) and I am loving it. Thank you so much for this suggestion!Hermey wrote: ↑Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:24 pm Welcome! Now, sit down, relax, and breathe. You're gonna be okay.
Get online and order this book. It'll help. Read it before you do much else. You need to make sense of and unwind twenty or thirty years of indoctrination.
God is either all powerful or all good.
I have yet to hear an explanation on how he can be both.
- Lex Luthor
I have yet to hear an explanation on how he can be both.
- Lex Luthor