Article on Early Returning Missionaries

[Corsair]

The Lost Percent. Early Returning Missionaries.

This is from a website run by believing LDS women, although liberal believers are among them. I was impressed by the compassion for early returning missionaries in this article. It points out the culty way this young man was treated followed by just ignoring him when he got home. This reads like the first part of an exit story that ends up posted on /r/exmormon.

The article also points out some statistics of those returning early. It appears that 1/3 are coming home early and the reasons are increasingly doctrinal. Certainly emotional and physical health are prominent reasons for an early exit, but some basic issues of testimony are on the rise.

[Newme]

Seems like a healthier perspective than usual. 1/3?! That’s a lot!
As a teen, I did splits for a one day missionary event and this guy we came across really questioned what we were doing. He was like, “How would you like me and others to go around telling YOU what to believe? I don’t do that to you. Why are you doing that to me?”

It got me thinking, but my companion seemed oblivious. It seems this kind of questioning or confrontation is not unique to missions, so if someone is really listening, and the “investigator” has valid points that the missionary hadn’t considered before, it can’t help but shake them up, somewhat.

[BriansThoughtMirror]

Heck, I WISH I would have come home early due to my doctrinal and testimony concerns, which loomed large. I came home kind of shell shocked, I think. Leaving early may have made me look at some things a bit differently- maybe even really honestly ask myself to do a hard evaluation my beliefs. As it was, I forced myself to keep believing afterwards, I graduated BYU, got married, had a kid, and bought a house in Utah. It's now much more complicated than it would have been.

On second thought, I can't really say what it would have been like. Maybe it's just a fantasy to think I would have been brave and able to follow my convictions in the face of opposition from my family, friends, and entire community. Who knows. It's got to be true that any kid who comes home that way has it rough.

[Rob4Hope]

Seems like a healthier perspective than usual. 1/3?! That’s a lot!
As a teen, I did splits for a one day missionary event and this guy we came across really questioned what we were doing. He was like, “How would you like me and others to go around telling YOU what to believe? I don’t do that to you. Why are you doing that to me?”

It got me thinking, but my companion seemed oblivious. It seems this kind of questioning or confrontation is not unique to missions, so if someone is really listening, and the “investigator” has valid points that the missionary hadn’t considered before, it can’t help but shake them up, somewhat.

I had some AP's show us greenies the "right way" to do a door approach. I was embarrassed by how pushy and arrogant they were. It felt so much like "in your FACE!" type of work to me. We would march up to a door, knock, and say: "We represent Jesus Christ and have come to tell you about his restored church. May we come in?"

Seems kindof pushy to me....right?

[Rob4Hope]

The article also points out some statistics of those returning early. It appears that 1/3 are coming home early and the reasons are increasingly doctrinal. Certainly emotional and physical health are prominent reasons for an early exit, but some basic issues of testimony are on the rise.

During my mission, there were many who SHOULD have gone home. They were emotionally hurt badly...VERY badly. They were more afraid of 'going to hell' by coming home early then of suffering.

I saw people literally destroyed on my mission. God was so exacting in those days! I mean, we were supposed to baptize a person a month--so said the GAs; and we all know that God would never give a directive unless there was a way prepared for its accomplishment. The average in my mission was 1/2 a baptism per 2 years.

Obviously, the missionaries were at fault! If they just had more FAITH!!!!!

Yeh...what a load of sh!t.

[Newme]

Seems like a healthier perspective than usual. 1/3?! That’s a lot!
As a teen, I did splits for a one day missionary event and this guy we came across really questioned what we were doing. He was like, “How would you like me and others to go around telling YOU what to believe? I don’t do that to you. Why are you doing that to me?”

It got me thinking, but my companion seemed oblivious. It seems this kind of questioning or confrontation is not unique to missions, so if someone is really listening, and the “investigator” has valid points that the missionary hadn’t considered before, it can’t help but shake them up, somewhat.

I had some AP's show us greenies the "right way" to do a door approach. I was embarrassed by how pushy and arrogant they were. It felt so much like "in your FACE!" type of work to me. We would march up to a door, knock, and say: "We represent Jesus Christ and have come to tell you about his restored church. May we come in?"

Seems kindof pushy to me....right?

Yeah, even pushy for salesman. Usually they chat a bit before hinting at coming in. Someone (maybe on this forum) was saying how just as not everyone is meant for sales, not everyone is good at religious sales.

And what you mentioned about church leaders blaming missionaries is a reminder that they fit characteristics not just of a cult but also of narcissists - who never take responsibility but always shift it.

[Yobispo]

The Lost Percent. Early Returning Missionaries.

This is from a website run by believing LDS women, although liberal believers are among them. I was impressed by the compassion for early returning missionaries in this article. It points out the culty way this young man was treated followed by just ignoring him when he got home. This reads like the first part of an exit story that ends up posted on /r/exmormon.

The article also points out some statistics of those returning early. It appears that 1/3 are coming home early and the reasons are increasingly doctrinal. Certainly emotional and physical health are prominent reasons for an early exit, but some basic issues of testimony are on the rise.

Thanks for th link. As to the "testimony issues", I have four kids, youngest is 17. I also taught seminary for 2 years as my shelf dissolved. When they changed the age to 18 and it was obvious that 18 would becomethe new standard (not how they rolled it out, but we all saw it coming) I was shocked. MY 1 year at Ricks gave me a year to be away from momma, learned soem very basic survival and time-planning skills, got some smooching done and most important - I took religion classes that actually penetrated my thick skull. Even then, I didn't know squat.

It was the easiest prediction ever to predict that 18 was too young, the kids were too immature and coddled and darn few could independently comprehend AND teach Mormon doctrine. I'm not happy to see 1/3 of these kids further traumatized by the shame of "early return".

It's bad all the way around.

[slavereeno]

With the pickup on weekly communication we have been able to discern that our missionary son is completely sick of his mission. If it were truly up to him, I think he would come home. But he's been out over 20 months so there's not much left and I am sure he will just finish out. He's not very happy and feels unmotivated.

[Rob4Hope]

With the pickup on weekly communication we have been able to discern that our missionary son is completely sick of his mission. If it were truly up to him, I think he would come home. But he's been out over 20 months so there's not much left and I am sure he will just finish out. He's not very happy and feels unmotivated.

I remember coming home and hearing my friends (who came home a little earlier) stand up and say, with gushing emotions, "It was the BEST 2 years of my life!".

I remember sitting there and thinkin...oh sh!t. If that is the best 2 years,...I had better kill myself now, cuz I ain't got nothing to look forward to!

[wtfluff]

I remember coming home and hearing my friends (who came home a little earlier) stand up and say, with gushing emotions, "It was the BEST 2 years of my life!".

I remember sitting there and thinkin...oh sh!t. If that is the best 2 years,...I had better kill myself now, cuz I ain't got nothing to look forward to!

I remember people who had been back from their mission for up to ~30 years still using that "best 2 years" saying.

As if marriage, family, etc. isn't better than too many years of indentured servitude? Yeah, WTF hadn't been "invented" back then, but I sure thought it a lot.

[Rob4Hope]

I remember coming home and hearing my friends (who came home a little earlier) stand up and say, with gushing emotions, "It was the BEST 2 years of my life!".

I remember sitting there and thinkin...oh sh!t. If that is the best 2 years,...I had better kill myself now, cuz I ain't got nothing to look forward to!

I remember people who had been back from their mission for up to ~30 years still using that "best 2 years" saying.

As if marriage, family, etc. isn't better than too many years of indentured servitude? Yeah, WTF hadn't been "invented" back then, but I sure thought it a lot.

And in contrast, I know someone who didn't go back then. To this day he is stigmatized because he didn't go.

What a messed up culture! If you come home early, you get it. If you don't go, you get it. If it wasn't the 'best 2 years' in some ways you get it.
Can't win. Its a culture of shame.

[slavereeno]

With the pickup on weekly communication we have been able to discern that our missionary son is completely sick of his mission. If it were truly up to him, I think he would come home. But he's been out over 20 months so there's not much left and I am sure he will just finish out. He's not very happy and feels unmotivated.

I remember coming home and hearing my friends (who came home a little earlier) stand up and say, with gushing emotions, "It was the BEST 2 years of my life!".

I remember sitting there and thinkin...oh sh!t. If that is the best 2 years,...I had better kill myself now, cuz I ain't got nothing to look forward to!

Yes, well, this is interesting. I used to tell my kids "Up to that point in my life it was the best two years." I still stand by that statement today though. Up until that time it really was the best two years. This had nothing to do with the actual missionary stuff though. I was picked on a bit in high school, and my home life, before leaving, was far from perfect. It wouldn't take much to beat my high school years frankly.

On my mission, I learned a foreign language, got to see Europe, was noticed by women for the first time, was pulled into the office and ended up AP and got a lot of attention there too. I did a bunch of interesting things in the office, but didn't spend much time proselyting. It was kind of like having a job overseas. It was an ego boost, but for all the wrong reasons.

DS1 once asked why I thought my mission was the best two years, because he didn't enjoy his very much. DS2 is in the same boat. Maybe that means they had a pretty good home life and high school experience? That's probably the more likely outcome of the mission experience.