War in Heaven

[2bizE]

In recently read a post about the war in heaven in the preexistence, Either here or on Reddit.
What do we know about this war?
I used to just always think it happened, I mean god and his boys fighting against Satan and his.
But, what did they fight with? They were all supposed to be intelligences. You know, free floating pieces of matter or vapor with some ability to think without a body. I doubt this piece of vapor could run a tank or bazooka.
I’ve always heard this represented as an actual thing and never a symbolism.
What about you?

[Apologeticsislying]

From the mythological view, the war in heaven was the formation of the Solar System, and the various planets, comets, and asteroids jostling around banging into each other. The ancient gods were the planets...

Again, as Campbell warned, we should not concretize the metaphors, which religion has done, so that now its actually people and gods warring. That's the more literalist and least likely conception however. I've been reading about this actually in a most stimulating book "The Secret History of the World."

[Ghost]

I guess it would be difficult to wield even a proton pack as a spirit.

The official teaching I'd always heard was that it was a war of ideas.

But perhaps they also tested out some of the devices that will ultimately be used to keep resurrected beings from infiltrating a higher kingdom.

[Palerider]

Putting on my TBM cap:

The war in heaven was more of a political/philosophical war. A war of ideas. I think America is in the middle of one right now.

When God explains a very beneficial plan for his children, He hopes everyone will be as enthused as He is. But when some "upstart" says he doesn't care for it and essentially says, "Up yerz" to God and tries to convince others to follow him, it's a war of politics and a spiritual rebellion. "Hell no, we won't go....the way you want us to." We want to go our way and have bodies and have no rules. No rules=no sin. No sin=free pass to CK.

Taking off TBM hat:

It's only logical that God wouldn't force us to come here against our will. But it also seems true that if we just wanted to stay in Heaven with Him it would be understandable. Why would He say, "You either have to go or you're under condemnation."? Is there a place for those who wanted to stay to just continue as "angels"?
Would that constitute spiritual rebellion?

One can only conjecture about Satan and unclean spirits but the reality is that the Biblical scriptures don't shed enough light on what occurred to give us the whole story. Maybe God didn't think it was that critical to know?

ETA: Ah, I see Ghost already gave the condensed version.

[moksha]

But, what did they fight with? They were all supposed to be intelligences. You know, free floating pieces of matter or vapor with some ability to think without a body. I doubt this piece of vapor could run a tank or bazooka.
I’ve always heard this represented as an actual thing and never a symbolism.
What about you?

I've always envisioned it to be much like Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders taking San Juan Hill.


Army of God in Heaven War (The Valiant)




Army of Satan in Heaven War (The Apostates)

Perhaps they were magically granted bodies for this conflict. I doubt they utilized tanks or plasma weapons, but who knows? You would need a seer stone to scry that.

In between these two warring armies grew the coffee and tea plants. Lacking the mobility of the animals they tried the Swiss routine of declaring their neutrality. Look at the punishment they received for not being gung-ho in war. Bunch of pacifist leaves are eternally reviled by the Saints (those who were valiant in the Heaven War)!

Addendum, I did not actually have a picture of Satan's Army so I slipped in a photo from one of Trump's 2019 rallies.